Would you see them daily?

[Wouldyouthough79]

If someone had come over to visit you (but also for a holiday) but weren’t staying with you, would you see them everyday?

@Starship951 Just haven’t left dc before so wouldn’t be keen as she doesn’t know them that well

If your DP wants to see them every day and is excited about the plans they make I don’t see a problem!
You don’t have to go!
If you have DC, he can take them too and leave you in peace!

They are your DP’s relatives after all…

When we've travelled to the ILs, we were based with MiL so saw her daily. DH would schedule visits in for his siblings. They're getting on with normal life so often an afternoon here or evening there. Sometimes there might be a bigger get together if it worked out on an weekend.
When MiL was younger, we did a mix of some outings with her and some by ourselves so she could get on with her life.

Since staying with MiL dropped out of the equation, it's still the same process of arranging to see ILs as it mutually works out.

I wouldn't expect to plan full days out with ILs everyday. They are not on holiday and can't switch their lives off to fit that.

I think I must be missing something!
Are the DC your DP’s children?

@EntertainingandFactual Yes

I would simply say "how great to offer to take DC out for the day - I hope you have a great day together." And leave it at that.

Then let your DP get on with it!
He takes the children with him if he wants to see his family every day & you relax!

@EntertainingandFactual Would you not go, doesn’t seem rude?

SIL might think it's rude that you don't trust her with her niece and insist on accompanying them every day of her holiday.

Does your partner want to spend every day with them? If so, let him and your daughter go. Or do you not trust him either?

There’s no way I would go along every day!
I would see them during the week of course and I would invite them over to the house as well but I wouldn’t feel the need to join in with everything!
Your DP needs to tell them ‘It’s just me and the DC tomorrow, @Wouldyouthough79 has got plans & will join us later in the week!’
Not rude at all!

Only if we agreed to do that ahead of this visit.

What you've not mentioned is whether you are at work during this week or whether you/partner have taken time off.

It seems a bit odd that this was not discussed before hand. But if they are dictating agenda or expecting you to pay to do stuff you don't want to do then I think it's reasonable to say no you don't want to. If your dp wants to though then he can... I guess they assume at 4 your child would be more socialised as 4 is school/kindy starting age usually, so wouldn't be unhappy to go without you?

What was the plan when they booked the holiday?

Just thinking this! Is your DP working during the day? Is he involved the plan?

@EntertainingandFactual He was originally supposed to be working, is off now, not because they’re here, just the way his holidays fell.
He doesn’t organise/make any plans because he’s rubbish 🤷🏻‍♀️🙈

@LittleOwl153 We're both off. I’m off with dc for the holidays and Dh has his two weeks off (not specifically due to them
coming, just the way it fell)

Do you live in the sort of area where there are other things they might want to do or visit on some of the days? Otherwise I think it is pretty clear being with you is going to be the main attraction.

I am unclear how the arrangements came about and what was discussed beforehand. Presumably SIL has come with the assumption she will see you every day and probably thought you (as in you and your DH) might have arranged some things and if you haven't she is now doing it herself.

In short, unless there is some hidden backstory here I don't think your SIL is being unreasonable

I wouldn't expect to see them daily unless they were staying with you.

If they were expecting a daily visit I'd probably suck it up as they're visiting.

@5foot5 Lots of other things to do, live in a tourist area

Sounds like the relatives are making the plans so he just needs to turn up with your DC!
If he is truly useless I would (for the sake of my DC being comfortable & having a good time) pack a bag for the DC - snacks, sun cream, plasters, drinks etc.
Then wave them off 😄👍🏻

Send DC with her father can look after her and have a day off yourself.

Has he never looked after DC alone.

But he doesn't need to, they're picking things they want to do on holiday and he can just tag along with what they're doing with the DC. You can stay home or go with them, I really don't get the issue here.

If you are both at home anyway and haven't made any other plans then I really can't see what the issue is. You said your DH is rubbish at making plans so isn't it nice that SIL is organising some nice days out when otherwise you might end up doing nothing?

If you are really finding your SILs company too much everyday then make some excuse/plead prior arrangement which means your DH takes your DS with them one day do you get a bit of time away from them

Are you anxious about your DC going out without you OP? It’s totally understandable but they will be with their Dad.

If it is a matter of your DP expecting you to be there because he ‘can’t cope’ then you have a DP problem not a SIL problem!