Things have changed so much , so quickly?!

[doodlywoodlydingdong]

I just had my grown up kids around for dinner, not unusual but it got me thinking how much things have changed in the last 3 years. We are a very typical family. I'm 45 , 4 kids aged 13-25. Between me and my DH we have an income of around £34k but very soon it's going to drop by £4k annually.

Three years ago I would go food shopping and buy pretty much whatever I wanted. If I fancied it, it went into the trolley. Full English breakfast every Saturday, big fat roast dinner with a nice joint every Sunday. Two v cheap foreign holidays a year. I enjoyed making our money stretch as far as it possibly could with holiday bargains etc. Christmas was always glorious with loads of food and some nice gifts. Lots of entertaining. fast forward 3 years.

Today I was stood in the kitchen picking the meat off 6 chicken thighs to feed seven adults and a baby. The roast dinner was totally packed out with veg and spuds. Barely any chicken compared to what I would have served 3-4 years ago. I can't stretch to a joint of pork anymore, a whole chicken is a rare treat. So thighs it is. My kids are eating more and more pasta /noodles based dishes with hot dogs as protein. I have to think twice about what is the most efficient method to cook whatever meal it is to save money on the electric. My dogs are now on the cheapest possible kibble I can find. I was actually relieved when my lovely old cat suddenly died (?!) as I wouldn't have to find the extra money for vets fees as she was knocking on a bit. Thats now £ 18 a month I'm saving on litter and food and I feel like a monster for even typing that.

I use the l local food waste project wherever I can, save every penny I can, but ultimately I'm going to have to give up my mobility car as the money would be much better in my pocket . The trade off is that I will then be house bound and that "freed up " money will be going straight to EON from October .

AIBU to have a feeling of almost grief over all of this? It's been very slow and gradual trickling of price increases etc but suddenly it's taken 6 chicken thighs to push me over the edge and be ridiculously angry and upset about how our money can purchase so much less these days?

Please get an appointment with citizens advice. It sounds like you’re so stressed that you’re not able to take in any financial information at the minute. Take them a copy of your gas/electric bill and ask them to explain the tariff. And ask them to help you apply for universal credit.

Everyone suggesting ESL, a lot of these jobs require you to have an extra qualification on top of a BA. Such as CELTA/Trinity Cert TESOL....

Reading through adverts, many ESL jobs want a degree, a TESOL type qualification, some kind of teaching experience, and the ability to do lesson plans and similar things to what a teacher is trained to do.

Do they? Well I’m certainly not rich, I’m not even comfortably off to be honest. I take responsibility in making the best decisions I can and considering options etc to make life and finances as easy and manageable as possible. Hasn’t got me far though 😫

I would definitely speak to your council, especially if you're paying the bedroom tax.

That’s what I was trying to point out. I’d find a UK holiday impossible (coaches, trains, no fucking chance) but I can be driven to an airport and fly no issue.

So you never look further afield to understand the larger forces at play as to why you are poor?

Where did I say I’m poor?

I would advise speaking to the local council as well, but I am not as hopeful as you. It normally takes years for the council to adapt a property even when someone is in need. It will happen but may take many years.

@motheroftheyear95 you said you are not comfortably off.
Or did you mean you "only" have an income of £100k?

I mean exactly what I’ve said I’m not comfortably off, but I’m not poor.

Or should I say I’m not in extreme poverty

Okay I have no idea what that means.
Is extreme poverty a single person getting £78 a week unemployment benefit? Or a family getting £35k a year? Or someone only being able to afford one meal a day?

Doesn't it cost a few pence for LED bulbs to run? I don't think anyone needs to be sitting in the dark by the light of the street lamp. In a 3 bed the standing charge for gas was £10, I can't understand it costing 15x more standing charge for a 2 bed, that doesn't seem right at all. That pp definitely needs to freephone Home Energy Scotland and get help ASAP because their supplier is taking the piss.

With adaptions and highest PIP one wouldn't typically pay full council tax, so there are no high bills or rent to reduce. OP had approx £2400 pm after housing costs for 2 adults and 2 kids, it's not hard to see how they could afford a short cheap holiday. Maybe one of the young adult DC could live at home in the 2 empty bedrooms, many adult DC older than that live at home now to contribute to bills due to it being unaffordable to move out and having a floor to themselves is lucky.

If OP could work PT they would possibly lose their PIP care money, as to be on the highest rate the person needs help with medical care, bathing, dressing, reheating food, communicating, eating, toileting, night time care/care throughout the day. It's different if it were only the mobility element from using a wheelchair, but to fit the criteria for the highest rate for both a person would be unlikely to be able to work because of the high level of care required for basic functioning. The husband works 12 hour days and looking after his disabled wife and kids, how could he work any more? I think they also said they were a voluntary teaching assistant, not a teacher.

I'm sorry life feels more difficult now OP. Is your car the only family car? I wonder if your husband could also drive yours as the only car and sell his, if he has one? or if the adaptions make that impossible to share? I'm too ill to get out much so it's OK not having a car. If you have other family members who drive then you need to weigh up whether you need the approx £300pm cash plus petrol savings more than what the car does for you.

Are you asking my opinion or what is the definition of poverty

Some of the arsehole comments on here are pretty disgusting. And downright ignorant 🙄
My DH can't work either due to disabilities and is medically retired. He doesn't know how he is going to feel when he wakes up in the morning, assuming he has slept due to pain. It's just not as simple as " get a job". Yes ,disabled people can go on holiday, but it takes careful planning, and factoring in rest days.
I work and earn a fair bit more than the OP's husband, so we are OK for just now, but increasing fuel bills will hit us hard as we need a certain level of warmth on the house for DH. We are currently cutting corners to save for future fuel increases.
It's not easy OP ❤

Assuming this isn't a wind up, I struggle to sympathise with the OP.

I can kind of see it from both points of view it’s a shame people didn’t realise the Tories were eroding quality of life from 2010 and didn’t start making some small changes then eg. One holiday per year instead of two holidays. One pet instead of two etc.

Personally I can’t imagine taking two holidays a year on that income with a large-ish family and would say it’s probably been an unnecessary luxury when you have kids and pets too.

That said, it’s fallen too much on the shoulders of the ordinary people to cut back while government and their business cronies get richer and richer. So there’s that.

I’m glad OP has been able to secure council housing at such a good rate, as I believe extortionate housing costs is at the heart of this cost of living crisis and I don’t begrudge anyone for escaping the private rental sector.

However, I’m not sure the suggestions about downsizing would be a good idea. I didn’t catch the ages of all the children but perhaps when the teens become adults they might continue to live there well into their 20s, and contribute financially when they start working full-time? Might be worth hanging onto the housing for now.

I think there’s some confusion here about the OP’s lifestyle . Holidays can mean staying in a caravan in the south of France and cooking your own meals in that trailer and just enjoying the beach and pool- they don’t cost the Earth because my family did this , we piled into an estate car and we caught a cheap ferry and we did this. It cost very little .
chucking whatever you want into the trolly doesn’t mean necessarily bottles of champers and fillet Steak , it means a joint of pork and some biscuits and a trifle - again , a luxury in the poor household but far from extravagant . Consider the ages of her children and there was absolutely no reason why a slightly bigger family was an issue back then. Also you cut your cloth, in families at the lower end of the economical scale kids wore their siblings handmedowns, inherited their toys and played together in the garden rather than do expensive clubs or go to the cinema. And there’s no reason on this Earth that that lifestyle shouldnt be possible on a single salary and it’s a perfectly nice lifestyle just more modest. OP now gets benefits because she’s really unwell. So it’s a bit shitty to question her life when it sounds like she’s done a fabulous job of raising a family despite having some shit luck . Her husband works long hours and has paid years of rent to the LA for that home which they’ll never own so that money has gone straight back to the LA not stashed away for their retirement.
most of us feel the pinch already and we should encourage each other and share helpful practical tips not judge and look down on those who are doing their best for their families under their own unique circumstances.

@Bluebells12 you're forgetting the bit where we voted these people in (Trump and Johnson). Many, many Russians love Putin.

Gosh, a few people on here have swallowed the Daily Fail (or equivalent) pill and are now regurgitating its bile.

Op - you have done well by running a tight ship, helped by an extraordinary era of cheap food. Fingers crossed that hard times will usher in a more empathetic (and capable) government. My sympathies.

Yep it’s utterly depressing!
I’ve had to drop all luxuries .. which only amounted to a costa coffee on my way to work 3 times a week and a bottle of branded pop per day… instead now I’m buying tesco own brand fizz and skipping costa completely…
This winter will be hard… I’ve already purchased a hot water bottle and fluffy duvet cover so I can turn the thermostat down a couple of degrees!

I’d advise against other peoples suggestion of downsizing… it won’t be any cheaper, or if it is, it will be negible eg I pay £98 for a two bed flat.
council may promise adaptations in another property but you could be waiting along time for them to be completed or be expected to be in situ whilst works are done and also if you ever require live in carers, at least at the moment you have the spare rooms available.

This country has gone to the dogs under this poxy government.

"Between 2008/09 and 2020/21, the number of foodbank users increased in every year, from just under 26,000 to more than 2.56 million."

Sewage spilling into our rivers.

My power bill has TREBLED in a year. Nearly 4 grand and counting.

In August 2010, NHS England recorded 1 case of a patient waiting more than 12 hours (from decision to admit) to being admitted to a hospital.

Last month the figure was 29,317. No that's not a typo.

Fraud on a grand scale with PPE contracts for friends and family.

Actual cabinet ministers in tax avoidance schemes.

This shower won't be happy until working people are literally begging for a decent standard of living, while they protect not only there own, but any Russian oligarch who'll give them a few bob.

Amazon, google etc pay fuck all.

Meanwhile the right wing press have half the population enthralled by Love Island and pointing fingers at desperate people claiming benefits.