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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel really sad about this? 😥

81 replies

25carrotgold · 22/08/2022 04:05

So I started University in the September before covid started. We had the first semester as normal and then obviously the second semester was cut short because of covid.

Ever since then, lectures have been online. We were lucky that when University started again in September we were able to go in for the occasional practical or lab, unlike other courses, but it’s not the same as being in all the time. We only see a very small number of coursemates who are in our groups, and apart from that we don’t really know the rest of our year as we barely had 2 semesters to get to know everyone before covid started.

I have a nice group of friends and know of most of my coursemates through our course group chat, but it’s not the same really. Part of going to university is meeting lots of new people, nights out, going for lunch after classes, studying in the library and hanging out. It’s the social side that’s completely missing. All the clubs and societies were restricted or stopped if they couldn’t be run. And since they’ve been off for a few years, there’s no new members to take over so a lot of clubs won’t start up again for a while.

its just all the little things like that that add up to the ‘university experience’ and I feel so sad that it hasn’t happened- going in for 2 hours a week for a class just isn’t the same.

in some ways it has been better having lectures online- it’s easier to take notes, more time to work and do sports, less money and time commuting to Uni, but it would be nice to have a normal year now before we finish. We are going into our last year and my friends have apparently been told that lectures will remain online again this year- we will have more in-person tutorials and practical classes so it’s not terrible, but I was really hoping for a year of normal university experiences.

I know that the University are trying their best and it’s not their fault, and with covid spreading again it will be trickier still, but I just feel so sad about it all. Just needed to get this off my chest, sorry not really an AIBU.

OP posts:
AFS1 · 22/08/2022 04:16

I feel so sorry for this generation of students. For me, university was a defining moment in my life. I’d hated school and had very little confidence by the time I left. I saw uni as a fresh start and threw myself into everything. By the end of those 3 years, I was confident, independent and sociable. It was transformative.

YANBU to feel sad that you were robbed of the opportunities I took for granted. I am so sorry that your experience has been so much more limited.

OhGoodnessItsSoExhausting · 22/08/2022 04:56

I feel so sorry you haven't had the full uni experience OP :(

(In my day - 20yrs ago- I also only went in for 2 hours of lectures a week - but in my case it was because the rest of the time I was drunk, stoned, having fun with my friends or working in the student uni bar! I'm guessing you are not on a 'campus' and there are few opportunities to go out with mates from your course or stay in halls?)

ChloeKellyIsAnIcon · 22/08/2022 05:02

I'm surprised to hear this OP. I work at a university and all lectures, tutorials etc have been face-to-face since January of this year, and will be in September too. I think your university is being far too cautious.

Bibbetybobbity · 22/08/2022 06:08

What uni are you at OP? Agree with PP that it’s rubbish for you….

fufflecake · 22/08/2022 06:13

Yes I find this very sad. On the plus side hopefully you've been able to knuckle down and study and you're going to get excellent grades. But yes it sucks you haven't been able to network and make friends on your course and grow that way.

Dinoteeth · 22/08/2022 06:16

Op young people and children have been completing forgotten about during the last two years.
Seems to have been a logic that there emotions and growing up just doesn't matter. Makes me very angry when I think about what children and young people have missed out on.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 22/08/2022 06:22

On the plus side hopefully you've been able to knuckle down and study and you're going to get excellent grades

This might not apply to the op but excellent grades for whtat? A job where you also sit at home with little interaction with your workmate? Covid and wfh in so many jobs is really hitting those who were between about 18 and 21 when it started

Of course you arent BU, has someone sad you are, I wouldnt pay them any attention

Cheesecakeandwineinasuitcase · 22/08/2022 06:22

I think some organisations are now using Covid as an excuse to cut costs and scale back on service provided. Eg swimming pools at holiday destinations such as Centreparcs introduced timed entry slots for swimming.

I imagine that organisations like universities are facing huge increases in their energy bills. Reducing footfall in the actual university using Covid as the reason means that energy costs are lower.

i would actually be really annoyed if I was in your situation OP. I bet you are paying upwards of £9k per year in university fees. You may as well have paid £2k per year on a degree with the OU instead.

fufflecake · 22/08/2022 06:27

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 22/08/2022 06:22

On the plus side hopefully you've been able to knuckle down and study and you're going to get excellent grades

This might not apply to the op but excellent grades for whtat? A job where you also sit at home with little interaction with your workmate? Covid and wfh in so many jobs is really hitting those who were between about 18 and 21 when it started

Of course you arent BU, has someone sad you are, I wouldnt pay them any attention

True. I was trying to find some sort of positive in the situation but you're right wfh is a pile of shit too in a lot of cases

ParsleyPesto · 22/08/2022 06:29

A huge loss for you and your peers, you must feel very short-changed. I feel very sorry for you all.

W0tnow · 22/08/2022 06:32

My daughter is about to start A levels, I really hope things are back to normal by the time she goes to university. You have been massively short changed. I really feel for you.

Flatandhappy · 22/08/2022 06:33

I don't blame you for feeling sad, it is not the experience you hoped for. Here in Australia it is the same, DD is in her first year of a BCom, DS2 first year of a Masters, when they go to select their classes it looks like they are face to face but in reality all lectures are online, at least there are a few tutorials but it is definitely not what they wanted.

SnackSizeRaisin · 22/08/2022 06:34

I agree it's a terrible shame. Surely most universities are back doing face to face by now although as you say there will be a longer term effect on clubs etc. You could always consider a master's or PhD?in a couple of years?

justfiveminutes · 22/08/2022 06:37

So everything will be back to normal except for lectures? I think many universities have decided to keep lectures online for all of the positive reasons you cite, so it sounds as if your third year will be as normal as things are ever going to be.

I have two dc at uni and their lectures have been online this year, but with f2f seminars and tutorials. I would say they have had a normal uni experience this year. They live with friends, have friends on their course that they see in seminars, all clubs and societies running as normal.

I hope you have a great third year. I don't think it will be as bad as you think.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 22/08/2022 06:38

I'm sorry this is your experience.
I didn't go to uni but I've worked my way up to a decent career and networking and making new contacts is so important in today's world, and I get your pain in that you're missing out on important social experience.
What if some of you got together and discussed your concerns with the relevant person at the uni? Seems really silly you're all distance learning when concerts and weddings etc are all back to normal.

autienotnaughty · 22/08/2022 06:50

My dd started uni 21/22 and has done the full experience- freshers, lectures on campus , student accommodation etc. My elder dd started 18/19 so got a year and a bit but clubs were back running for 20/21. Sounds like a very cautious uni but agree it sucks.

Tubs11 · 22/08/2022 06:51

I don't think anyone will disagree with you. I've family members the same age as you and are gutted for them, but after uni comes the working life and although I LOVED uni it was those early years of finding my way in the world I found most exciting so please don't dwell too much on the sadness and best of luck for your final year in uni

BibBabBobBub · 22/08/2022 07:07

I’d complain to your uni, I’m surprised students are still accepting that. We’ve been 70% in person since summer 2021 and back to normal since Jan 2022, your uni sounds like an outlier.

Jumpking · 22/08/2022 07:10

Yes, you're right to feel sad about this.

It's a massive pile of crap. COVID has screwed up a lot of things for a lot of people.

On some of your group chats, see how others are feeling about continuing online lectures. Then if others are feeling the same way, write a joint letter to the university and go from there.

Blueblell · 22/08/2022 07:10

I don’t see why things should not be back to normal now? I don’t think the covid cohort should be paying full fees either but I sure Universities will say their costs haven’t reduced, which I am sure is true. However it does seem very sad that these cohorts have really missed the experience.

Pegsmum · 22/08/2022 07:26

I think it would be worth sending an email from your cohort (if they feel the same) to the course or programme leader to ask if lectures could be done in person. If you don’t get a satisfactory response take the issue higher.
Your university should be doing as much as it can to enhance your student experience and it sounds like it is failing.

Sswhinesthebest · 22/08/2022 07:26

I really feel for you all. It has robbed you of the full experience and you’ll never get that time back.
Good luck for this year. I hope you have fun and make the most of it.

I regret not having a gap year. Could you consider that?

astuz · 22/08/2022 07:29

All the way through the pandemic, I thought students were one of the worst hit groups. Like other PPs, it was a defining time for me, I'd always been very shy at school, and parents were quite controlling, so leaving home in the safety net of a university environment was brilliant for me. I really came out of my shell and took up totally new hobbies.

The thing with uni, is you can't get those years back. You can't go back and do your degree again once covid is over.

Your university should really be completely back to normal now, they are taking the piss not having live lectures. They can record them and put them online as well, but to ONLY offer online lectures is shit.

I would fight this, get lots of other students involved, start a campaign. The powers that be need to know that students are very unhappy about the situation. Go to the press if needs be - the general public will be sympathetic.

Adversity · 22/08/2022 07:42

DH still works in higher education, my old colleagues at two Universities, DS GF course and DS September start, none of them have 100% teaching online. They are all doing a mix of in person and online. I’m pretty sure all the lectures DH gives are in person.

I also think WFH online when straight out of education is bad, my friends DS fresh out of University has only ever WFH. There are none of those let’s get lunch or have a drink after work moments that I remember from my working years especially before having children. While introverts, people with awful commutes and people who find some childcare easier like WFH it’s a disaster for others.

HoppingPavlova · 22/08/2022 07:43

I’m in Australia and some of mine still at uni are also online wherever possible. Apparently it’s now the norm moving forward according to some uni lecturers I know socially (different uni’s but same story). It’s a cost cutting measure with slashing of staff. Lectures are no longer live but recorded specifically to be reused year after year unless course content changes. I know someone who guest lectured for a topic and this year they were contacted with a form saying it would be done, recorded and their acceptance if the fee meant the uni could use it at will whenever in the future I.e. they now get paid once instead of yearly to ‘deliver’ that content.

The uni’s are really trying to sell it to the students as an advantage that they can work more with part time jobs and listen to lectures around that rather than being more restricted for work etc. Nope, it’s just cost cutting. One of mine also has all tutorials on line as well, they clearly don’t want students on campus unless absolutely necessary for chemistry pracs and the like.