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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel really sad about this? 😥

81 replies

25carrotgold · 22/08/2022 04:05

So I started University in the September before covid started. We had the first semester as normal and then obviously the second semester was cut short because of covid.

Ever since then, lectures have been online. We were lucky that when University started again in September we were able to go in for the occasional practical or lab, unlike other courses, but it’s not the same as being in all the time. We only see a very small number of coursemates who are in our groups, and apart from that we don’t really know the rest of our year as we barely had 2 semesters to get to know everyone before covid started.

I have a nice group of friends and know of most of my coursemates through our course group chat, but it’s not the same really. Part of going to university is meeting lots of new people, nights out, going for lunch after classes, studying in the library and hanging out. It’s the social side that’s completely missing. All the clubs and societies were restricted or stopped if they couldn’t be run. And since they’ve been off for a few years, there’s no new members to take over so a lot of clubs won’t start up again for a while.

its just all the little things like that that add up to the ‘university experience’ and I feel so sad that it hasn’t happened- going in for 2 hours a week for a class just isn’t the same.

in some ways it has been better having lectures online- it’s easier to take notes, more time to work and do sports, less money and time commuting to Uni, but it would be nice to have a normal year now before we finish. We are going into our last year and my friends have apparently been told that lectures will remain online again this year- we will have more in-person tutorials and practical classes so it’s not terrible, but I was really hoping for a year of normal university experiences.

I know that the University are trying their best and it’s not their fault, and with covid spreading again it will be trickier still, but I just feel so sad about it all. Just needed to get this off my chest, sorry not really an AIBU.

OP posts:
OneInEight · 22/08/2022 09:07

I don't think your university is trying its best. ds1 has had a pretty normal university experience this past year. I think the only exception was doing the first half of the year exams at home but otherwise everything as it would have been done pre-covid.

ladymactíre · 22/08/2022 09:18

This shouldn't have happened. My daughter was online 2020-2021 and it was a struggle after 2 years of normal uni. Her results dropped and she absolutely hated it. 2021-2022 they went back to normal and she was flying. I don't think your university does their best for you. You should be allowed to go to school and have a life. The other one did a plc in the "online year" and started first year in 20-21 when thongs got back to normal. All her friends that started uni in that year were unhappy about the online studying. uni is about studying, but it should be the best social experience. Online doesn't do that

poetryandwine · 22/08/2022 09:21

OP,

I think people are not disbelieving you; they are just shocked. Some might like to know how their DCs could avoid applying to units of admission still doing online lectures.

Many unis, including mine, started recording lectures at students’ request some time before COVID. Whilst there are valid reasons for doing this, using the recording of a live lecture as a replacement for attendance on a regular basis is not one of them. Nevertheless lecture attendance plummeted. We can track each student’s access of the recorded lectures and most were not viewing them in a remotely timely fashion. You
can imagine the knock on effect for tutorials, seminars and labs.

With COVID many unis required the development of extremely high quality prepared lectures for recorded delivery together with auxiliary materials. People went into overdrive to meet this brief. Research was interrupted and careers were set back. Now (a) a number of people hired on short term contracts throughout the U.K. to meet this brief are coming to the end of their jobs creating teaching shortages, and (b) there is a reluctance to suppress these very high quality outputs when, in spite of what your peers will tell you, attendance in the time of Lecture Capture is dismal anyway.

I’m with you, OP.

Change123today · 22/08/2022 09:21

I do feel for you. My daughter said she paying for an experience that she could have just done an open university course. She had an awful group in halls - 2 went home at Christmas never returned as they didn’t see the point. The others where international students who stuck to their own groups so she was very lonely and isolated - she used to sit in the kitchen to try and speak to them and they weren’t interested. Her course being the one thing she hoped to meet people - 1 hour f2f didn’t really help with that. She has autism so really struggles in social situation of groups. When she was brave the social group didnt quite work out so ended up alone :(

Online doesn’t work for everyone and a decent mix - and HONEST approach of how the course is being run is needed by university . When we asked at the university we where told one thing only for it to change the first week and they won’t even tell her what the mix will be for year 2. Thankfully she did make some friends and she is moving in with them - all of them have said they hoping year 2 is much more f2f.

whoamI00 · 22/08/2022 09:23

YANBU OP, that's super sad.

Sswhinesthebest · 22/08/2022 09:35

DD’s have been f2f this year but tbh hardly any students bother to turn up. It’s quite shocking really.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 22/08/2022 09:41

So sorry OP. Universities are continuing to let down young people (while demanding a massive increase in fees from them) I hope there's a way to challenge this?

TonTonMacoute · 22/08/2022 09:50

YANBU at all. I think it's a total and utter scam, and now they want to put fees up from £9k to £24!

DS graduated last year, so he at least had a normal first year. But his final year options were drastically cut, so all the new modules he was looking forward to studying we're no longer available and he ended up going over the same texts for about the fifth time.

No sports, no trips, no balls, no drama productions or art exhibitions - nothing at all.

People are already saying lockdown was too drastic and has caused more harm than good in terms of health and well being - it has seriously damaged our young people too.

It doesn't even get any better when you graduate either. DS has been job hunting, he wants a job where he can go into an office, learn, train work with other people, not sit at home on his own in front of his lap top.

Original poster
25carrotgold · 22/08/2022 10:42

Hi!

i don’t know yet if the lectures will definitely be online again this year- i had assumed we would be back to normal and on campus for everything but I’ve heard from a few people that lectures will be online again. I’m hoping it’s just a rumour and not actually true! In fairness they did say that apparently we will have more on-campus time for practical classes, labs and tutorials so we will hopefully be in person a bit more. I’ll probably be complaining when I’m having to pay hundreds for trains for a 9am start, but I would really like if things could be completely normal for our last year- I started in autumn 2019 and we had a little bit of normality before covid started and it would be nice to go back to that for our (fourth) last year!

last semester we were in for between 2-6 hours a week, sometimes we had extra classes and were in longer but other times it was just one 2 hour slot. Lectures have been completely online (a mix of live and premade) since covid started.

I’d rather not say my university because it’s a bit identifying apologies! I appreciate all the kind comments and well wishes though.

OP posts:
RedRobyn2021 · 22/08/2022 14:55

You're definitely not being unreasonable

That absolutely sucks

I loved uni, so sad for you

MrsRinaDecker · 23/08/2022 18:22

My son is going into the 3rd year of his degree and has only been on campus a handful of times in the last two years. Almost all of his lectures have been online, often with no opportunities to interact with other students. It’s rubbish! His degree doesn’t specifically need any labs or practicals, but would definitely benefit from more collaborative learning. He’s really hoping the uni will have moved back to full in person learning from September.

FreddieMercurysCat · 23/08/2022 18:34

My daughter started Uni the same time as you OP and has had the same problems. I never went to Uni and so wanted her to have that experience and make tons of new friends and have the whole social side. YADNBU - I feel sad that you’re missing out too.

Overthebow · 23/08/2022 18:37

Why have lectures been online for the last half year when life has been back to normal? Surely they must be back in person this coming year, there’s no excuse.

maryanne3 · 23/08/2022 19:14

Yes, this is sad. But there is no need to give up, you are still young, there will still be opportunities for new friends and new experiences. Most people of my generation never had any sort of "university experience" going straight from school to work and staying home with mum and dad until they could afford to move out. Suggest a few more activities with the friends you have made; parties, trips out, games evenings anything. To a certain extent the solution is in your hands.

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 23/08/2022 19:36

My niece is struggling too. She's CEV so no lectures face to face even though all other students are. She's never been in the uni let alone in a class so has never met anyone. Terribly sad for those disabled and ill students particularly isolated

Bard6817 · 23/08/2022 19:51

Maybe uni should be more about education rather than a piss up at the expense of the taxpayer and your parents.

ParsleyPesto · 23/08/2022 20:06

Bard6817 · 23/08/2022 19:51

Maybe uni should be more about education rather than a piss up at the expense of the taxpayer and your parents.

Lol

The OP is talking about relationships, making connections and sharing the passage of child to adult.

Relationship building and maintaining is the single most useful skill a person can have. I can see it isn’t a strength of yours and look how it has impeded your life, you are reduced to embittered muttering a on social media. Imagine if you knew how to build rather than destroy.

AgnestaVipers · 23/08/2022 20:12

It's pretty bizarre to be still online. No excuse whatsoever. Covid no longer features in my life at all.

University is an incredible, formative experience - I'm sorry fate has robbed you of so much of it.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 23/08/2022 20:13

You haven’t said anything personally identifying OP. I think you’d be safe enough mentioning the University you attend.

Some mumsnetters may be able to give you information that can help you make the most of things.

Mglass · 23/08/2022 20:21

Completely agree with OP, part of going to university is the experience. It’s life lessons with friends / partners etc. i did a lot of growing up and finding myself at university. I would have really struggled to hit the ground running in my
first job if I hadn’t had some of those experiences.

I really do feel for the younger generation, paying off the large covid debt and not having these normal experiences.

1000N · 23/08/2022 20:43

Its sad. It isn't all about fun (which is essential) i grew up a lot and got new skills from the interaction with my peers in Uni that wouldn’t have been possible on a online base programe … it makes sad for the Future of my baby too because it is invaluable time and i did make friends for life!

clarrylove · 23/08/2022 20:49

My uni bent over backwards to get things back on campus asap. Yours sounds like a rubbish one and you really should complain. There's no excuse.

edin16 · 23/08/2022 21:04

Why don't you contact your PDT or one of the module leaders and check OP? That way you can put your mind at ease or go forward with a complaint ect. At least the draft timetable will have been issued by now so they will definitely know.
Why don't you see if you and anyone else wants to organise a 'refreshers' sort of thing for your group? We did this most years when we came back from summer...nights out, picnic in the park, pot luck supper ect?
If it helps I was never close to the people on my course, never did the lunches/drinks after class, studying in the library. I had the group I met in halls and that was it and we're all still close.

LaDamaDeElche · 23/08/2022 21:06

Covid has been used as an excuse for enough time now. That's absolutely ridiculous. Next it will be the energy bills. Honestly, we all have to stop tolerating this nonsense.

MarshaBradyo · 23/08/2022 21:08

LaDamaDeElche · 23/08/2022 21:06

Covid has been used as an excuse for enough time now. That's absolutely ridiculous. Next it will be the energy bills. Honestly, we all have to stop tolerating this nonsense.

I agree with you

it’s madness

Someone was telling me in the sector (although not U.K.) lectures were just being recorded and replayed. Imagine it’s like doing your job once and pressing play. So slack. It shouldn’t be accepted for the fees