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Original poster

Bridesmaid dresses

46 replies

helloits · 22/08/2022 00:27

This is more of a what would you do post...

So original wedding was in March 2020 but had to cancel less than a week before wedding due to covid. Because of this everything was paid for and sorted. My wedding is now this summer.

I have 4 bridesmaids all the dresses I bought and paid for alterations in 2020. 2 of the bridesmaids and myself still fit into our dresses however the other 2 bridesmaids don't. One of those bridesmaids saw this coming in the lockdown and ordered the same dress in a bigger size (paid for with her own money) but now needs it altering to fit her. The other bridesmaid no longer fits into her dress but fits into the other bridesmaids dress (the one she doesn't need anymore) but also needs altering. Alterations cost £200. Who should pay for these alterations?

OP posts:
MarmiteCoriander · 22/08/2022 00:30

The bridesmaids should pay. You have already bought the dresses!

Hiddenvoice · 22/08/2022 00:31

This is a tough one. One of your bridesmaids has kindly gone and bought another dress. I’d probably feel inclined to pay for her alternations. If I was doing that for one then I’d do it for the other. Id mainly do it as it’s been 2 years since your original date, a lot can happen in 2 years and it is common for people to put on weight or have fluctuating weights.
If you’re not happy about paying then maybe suggest going half with them but I think they are trying to be helpful as they have already sorted the dress situation with only alternations being needed.

DmitriMendeleev · 22/08/2022 00:33

Your wedding- you pay.

Selttan · 22/08/2022 00:47

I'd offer to go halves.

Justine878 · 22/08/2022 00:51

It's a bridesmaid dress, and may not be worn again? This is an unusual situation and wasn't foreseeable at the time. The dress was originally bought 2.5 years ago.... It is a difficult one tbh. I don't think there is any wrong answer and no one is to blame. Could you go halves?

Congratulations on your wedding. I hope everything goes well!

Ihatethenewlook · 22/08/2022 00:56

MarmiteCoriander · 22/08/2022 00:30

The bridesmaids should pay. You have already bought the dresses!

She paid 2 and a half years ago and they no longer fit? The rescheduling wasn’t her fault but it wasn’t the bridesmaids either, and they shouldn’t be footing the bill for dresses that are no longer suitable after a few years

Slightlystressedbride · 22/08/2022 01:03

Bride should pay.

Bridesmaids have already done quite a bit to try to solve it, it sounds like. So be happy about that to be honest.

Not anyone's fault the wedding was postponed but ultimately it's your wedding, you pay.

Slightlystressedbride · 22/08/2022 01:04

OP are you one of the bridesmaids? This reads a bit like a reverse...

TeapotTitties · 22/08/2022 01:10

You pay if you want them to wear these dresses because that's your choice.

Shit happens (as in Covid) and no-one could've forseen that but ultimately, you are dressing these women in clothes of your choice so the buck stops with you.

Deadringer · 22/08/2022 01:10

You need to supply dresses that fit, it's not your bridesmaids fault that the wedding was postponed. Surely 200 pounds isn't a massive amount against the cost of a wedding, and you have had 2 extra years to save for it.

SequinsandStilettos · 22/08/2022 01:10

Split it 70 you, 65 each them?
The spare dress goes on ebay and whatever you get for it, divvy between you.
But tbf bride usually shells out?
Are they close friends or relatives and more importanty, will the dresses ever be worn again?

RosieDal · 22/08/2022 01:19

If I was the bride; I would pay for the alterations.

Marvellousmadness · 22/08/2022 03:15

YOU!!!!

Thegrassaintgreener · 22/08/2022 06:29

You. If you want a certain dress and it costs £200 to alter, then you ought to pay.
It's rotten luck, but it's your wedding.

fufflecake · 22/08/2022 06:32

Your wedding you pay - and reimburse the one who was super organised and chose to buy a new dress. If you make them pay for this you are a really shit friend tbh.

Nobetterthansheoughttobe · 22/08/2022 06:33

They chose to put on weight. They pay

fufflecake · 22/08/2022 06:33

You (the bride) also should flog the dress that doesn't fit on ebay

fufflecake · 22/08/2022 06:34

Nobetterthansheoughttobe · 22/08/2022 06:33

They chose to put on weight. They pay

No one can be expected to stay the same weight for two plus years because of a wedding when we've gone through the collective trauma of the pandemic

Baxdream · 22/08/2022 06:35

I couldn't fit in a dress from 2020, surely this isn't unusual! You pay in my opinion

CurzonDax · 22/08/2022 06:36

BM has already gone above and beyond by buying herself the second dress (with then did the extra favour of meaning second maid could have her original dress).

Yes COVID happened, and I sympathise with the bride (I was a COVID-bride too, so trust me, I do sympathise!), and I understandthat the dresses were already sorted and paid for back in 2020, but they are still wearing dresses that the bride chose - therefore, the bride pays.

Dinoteeth · 22/08/2022 06:42

I think the bride should pay. The joy of having so many bridesmaids. And gather the dresses together after the wedding and sell them, see if you can recoup some money then.

Nobetterthansheoughttobe · 22/08/2022 06:46

fufflecake · 22/08/2022 06:34

No one can be expected to stay the same weight for two plus years because of a wedding when we've gone through the collective trauma of the pandemic

Show quote history

Collective trauma? Do stop exaggerating; it was inconvenient, we learnt that many people in this country cannot play by the rules, including those who make them, and that many people will make a shed-load of money out of the misery of others.
But it wasn't a collective bloody trauma
Apologies for splitting an infinitive

Original poster
helloits · 22/08/2022 07:06

Thank you everyone. For the person who asked if I was the bridesmaid no I'm not in the bride. I have actually already paid for the alterations it was just in my midnight haze not being able to sleep overthinking everything, one of the other bridesmaids made a comment that I shouldn't have offered or paid so it made me think hmmm what would MN do?!

OP posts:
kkneat · 22/08/2022 07:09

I would have brought the dresses to a seam mistress myself & got the altercations done for less and paid. My daughter had her prom dress altered (it was similar to a bridesmaid) dress for £28 including turning it up, taking it in at waist and ribs, shortening the straps

Justine878 · 22/08/2022 07:09

Nobetterthansheoughttobe · 22/08/2022 06:46

Collective trauma? Do stop exaggerating; it was inconvenient, we learnt that many people in this country cannot play by the rules, including those who make them, and that many people will make a shed-load of money out of the misery of others.
But it wasn't a collective bloody trauma
Apologies for splitting an infinitive

Show quote history

If you think the pandemic was just "inconvenient". You really weren't paying attention.