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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is BU?

47 replies

Tigerteafor3 · 21/08/2022 21:34

Married couple, one DC, going on a city break tomorrow, within a 2 hour drive. Check in is from 3pm.

Person A gets a last minute slot for a wanted but non-urgent appointment for the morning of the break. Booked in last week, checked with Person B at time of booking, all fine. Tells Person B the time of the appointment, and communicated "ready to leave by 12"

Person B (tonight) asks about the length of the appointment to plan the morning, it is longer than they anticipated, but they didn't ask at the time. This means we leave later than they had anticipated but with time. Lunch may be pushed back slightly which could result in a grumpy DC. It is possible to take snacks on the journey.

Person B is pissed and now disinterested in sorting the plan for tomorrow. Person A is consequently annoyed because things need to be sorted regardless.

Who is BU?

YABU - Person A is U
YANBU - Person B is U

OP posts:
Purpleforthewin · 21/08/2022 21:40

Both

dementedpixie · 21/08/2022 21:42

Sounds like a lot of drama for a destination that's only 2 hours away.

DisforDarkChocolate · 21/08/2022 21:43

Just say who you are other wise it's bloody annoying to read.

Also, it really depends on what the appointment was for. There's a big difference between the dentist and the hairdresser.

Angelinflipflops · 21/08/2022 21:45

Yabu for not owning who you are. I'm confused about who is who

CactusBlossom · 21/08/2022 21:46

Will still be on time for check-in and can take snacks for the journey... what's the problem?

AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 21/08/2022 21:47

I'm also confused. I suggest you talk to him/wait until he's sober and talk to him.

Hercisback · 21/08/2022 21:47

Can't person B do lunch with dc and person A snack in the car?

TeapotTitties · 21/08/2022 21:47

Yeah it's a bit confusing but if you want to get your hair/nails done, as long as you're ready to leave by 12, YANBU.

thelittleapple · 21/08/2022 21:49

Person A said ‘ready to leave by 12’ and now isn’t? So Person A (if anyone) is BU.

negomi90 · 21/08/2022 21:50

check in is from 3pm does not mean that you have to be there at 3pm. Its simple - appointment person packs tonight. Non appointment person packs when they wants to and looks after dc during appoinment.
Appointment person goes to appointment, comes home, family has lunch (or A has lunch if its later and DC has already eaten). Family leave. They get to hotel whenever.
It would be different if it were a flight, but this a non issue.

thelittleapple · 21/08/2022 21:51

For me it’s not a non-issue because a “city break” isn’t usually a full holiday. It leaves less time to decompress overall and an hour or two makes a difference.

Hotandbothereds · 21/08/2022 21:53

Can you still leave at 12 as planned? If so I don’t see the issue, tbh even if you did leave a little bit later it’s not the end of the world.

You don’t have to arrive bang on 3pm for check in, you could have lunch first then set off.

NerrSnerr · 21/08/2022 21:53

Can 'person b' give the child lunch while you're at the appointment? (I assume it's that way round?)

Sounds like a lot of drama.

Original poster
Tigerteafor3 · 21/08/2022 21:54

Ok I'm person A and it is the hairdresser.

Dh is annoyed because he thought the appointment would be an hour tops even though I said I would be home and ready to go by 12. Dh is sober, not sure where that came from.

He wanted to go there for lunch, which we can still do but because he's a bit anally retentive with planning that stuff he's annoyed.

OP posts:
Electriq · 21/08/2022 22:00

YABU!

WorkCleanRepeat · 21/08/2022 22:02

It's a bit of an inconvenient time to book a last minute hair appointment for. I'd be annoyed too if I were him.

NerrSnerr · 21/08/2022 22:09

Can you get something quicker done at the hairdressers? Does it need to be done when you're going away?

Realistically you won't be able to have lunch properly if it'll be after 2pm when you leave.

NerrSnerr · 21/08/2022 22:11

Sorry I misread, so you will be still ready to leave by 12? That seems fair enough if it's likely not to run over

hopsalong · 21/08/2022 22:35

If the appointment were for the GP/ dentist (assumed this at first) then person B being unreasonable.

For the hairdresser, person A is the unreasonable one. Go another day!

Discovereads · 21/08/2022 22:40

Person B is pissed and now disinterested in sorting the plan for tomorrow. Person A is consequently annoyed because things need to be sorted regardless.

Whats to plan/sort? It’s a 2hr drive I know people with longer daily commutes. Just eat lunch before you hit the motorway. I agree with the pp who said this is way too much drama.

Discovereads · 21/08/2022 22:42

Tigerteafor3 · 21/08/2022 21:54

Ok I'm person A and it is the hairdresser.

Dh is annoyed because he thought the appointment would be an hour tops even though I said I would be home and ready to go by 12. Dh is sober, not sure where that came from.

He wanted to go there for lunch, which we can still do but because he's a bit anally retentive with planning that stuff he's annoyed.

I think he’s annoyed at you insisting you can leave at 12 for a 2hr drive and still be there for lunch. You can’t. Just admit your hair appointment means you have to have lunch before you go or on the way.

Quartz2208 · 21/08/2022 22:44

How difficult is it to get a hairdressors appointment? If it were an NHS based one those you do not change but presumably you could have had other times.

When is the appointment to and what time are you going to be back

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 21/08/2022 22:56

Yabu to book a hair appointment the day you are going away id be pissed off with you too!

Initially i thought it was a hospital or dentist appointment which would be bad timing but understandable but a hair appointment isnt urgent or important.

Obbydoo · 21/08/2022 23:00

I'd be very pissed off if you booked a hair appointment on the morning of a holiday. I'd want to be up and off to make the most of the holiday. The check in time is irrelevant, you can still get there and explore or go for lunch.

Heyisforhorses · 21/08/2022 23:07

YABU, getting in the road, dumping bags at hotel and going city seeing before checkin is part of the trip for me. You getting hair done means your family lose most of the day when you could have been there mooching about. Id be pissed off if I were your DH.