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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have honked my horn?

27 replies

1Strawberry · 21/08/2022 01:13

I’m a fairly new driver and only recently gaining confidence so any advice appreciated! Driving down the dual carriageway today and joined slipway to get off - when a big white four by four came from nowhere and nearly hit me joining the slipway in front of me. I honked my horn and suddenly the four by four slowed down, I could see her (I think it was a her) gesticulating.. we reached the lights to leave the carriageway and she didn’t go when the light turned green, just sat there in front of me.. so I waited, not wanting to make the situation worse, until she eventually went on.. then she moved into the lane beside me as we stopped at the next lights, still ahead of me.. so I waited for her to go on so I would not have to drive past her, but again she didn’t move when the lights turned green - so I passed her without looking at her so she would not have the satisfaction of me seeing her rude face and took a left away from her.

Anyway, I have been wondering if it might be better to avoid such a situation by not sounding the horn… I see in the Highway Code you are only allowed to use it to let people know you are there..? If someone cuts in dangerously does that count..?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 21/08/2022 01:16

You used your horn appropriately. Don't overthink this and don't give that other driver another thought.

swimlyn · 21/08/2022 01:36

Sounds fine to me. These ‘perfect’ people don’t like to be criticised, ie: her driving was perfect, and your horn blast was the criticism.

Many years ago I had someone follow me home after an incident like this. He was incandescent with rage, and very threatening. Once he ran out of breath I pointed out that the noise he heard was not my horn but the screech of my emergency braking to avoid him as he carved me up.

He stomped back to his car (flash BMW) and roared off like the start of an F1 race.

I like to feel that those people get their comeuppance in one way or another.

Meraas · 21/08/2022 01:42

You now know why she drives the ay sh does. She’s an aggressive twat.

Keep standing up for yourself.

HeddaGarbled · 21/08/2022 01:43

I disagree. It sounds like you used the horn after the event as a reprimand. This is very common but also very wrong and just inflames situations.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/08/2022 01:46

HeddaGarbled · 21/08/2022 01:43

I disagree. It sounds like you used the horn after the event as a reprimand. This is very common but also very wrong and just inflames situations.

🙄

She used the horn as the event was taking place. She was concerned the other vehicle would hit her. The use of the horn was entirely justified.

Eightiesfan · 21/08/2022 01:57

Don’t sweat it, the driver of the other car was being stupidly aggressive. Are you sure it was a woman as these type of bullying actions are normally perpetrated by men.

sweeetpotato · 21/08/2022 02:04

Perfectly justified if you used it as a warning not to bump into you.

Original poster
1Strawberry · 21/08/2022 02:19

I thought I could see outline of a bobbed hairstyle when gesticulations were going on but not 100% sure it wasn’t a man..

OP posts:
Original poster
1Strawberry · 21/08/2022 02:20

Thanks for replies good to know I wasn’t completely out of line!

OP posts:
Redwinemaestro · 21/08/2022 02:24

This is why you should have a dash cam. Next time send the footage to the police.

FacebookPhotos · 21/08/2022 02:53

Tbh, it depends what was in my mind when you did it. If it was "you need to know im here" then of course that's appropriate. If it was "how dare you cut in front of me" then that's not appropriate use of the horn. Unlikely to ever get in trouble for it tho.

Lots of dickheads cut in front when you're driving on a motorway, particularly at or near exit slip roads. I've never needed to use the horn, I'm more bothered about safely braking to reinstate a safe gap.

mycatisannoying · 21/08/2022 04:30

Eightiesfan · 21/08/2022 01:57

Don’t sweat it, the driver of the other car was being stupidly aggressive. Are you sure it was a woman as these type of bullying actions are normally perpetrated by men.

🙄

Pleiades2020 · 21/08/2022 05:34

Tempting as it is to use the horn (and I've done it far too many times), officially you shouldn't. This sort of thing does happen a lot nowadays, and more often than not it's the big 4X4 tanks or the posh Audis and BMWs that seem to do it. Best thing you can do is not worry about whether you were right or wrong about using the horn but know that this sort of thing happens a lot and be prepared for it. If you expect it you'll be less surprised by it. Not easy to do sometimes as some drivers do some really stupid things, but the most important thing is to reach your desination safely.

ittakes2 · 21/08/2022 05:45

It sounds like she has anger management issues if she was not going at a green light to be annoying to you.

Guessie · 21/08/2022 05:47

Honestly best thing to do is just forget about it and move on.

ChuckItBucket · 21/08/2022 06:03

Not sure why people think that’s appropriate use of the horn. She knew you were there - she was slotting in in front of you. It’s really quite common for people to try and push their exit to the last second because they’re dicks and chancers. As a new driver though perhaps you thought there was less room than there was - as a presumably more experienced one she might have just seen a gap and gone for it.

sounding your horn to let people know you’re there means if you’re on a windy country road and you can’t see what’s coming, for example. Not to tell people off.

Dadaya · 21/08/2022 06:42

Some people are very aggressive and violent. It’s always better not to engage them if possible. No honking, no interfering in arguments or fights, just mind your own business. People have been killed for interfering, they have been killed for honking - and we have no legal deterrent for seriously injuring someone, the offender barely gets a sentence.

autienotnaughty · 21/08/2022 06:56

I once used horn at a lorry driver who cut me up. (To let him know I was there) he drove down the middle of the duel carriage at 10 mph (it was a 40) so I couldn't pass. He was still wrong.

Valeriekat · 21/08/2022 16:08

Eightiesfan · 21/08/2022 01:57

Don’t sweat it, the driver of the other car was being stupidly aggressive. Are you sure it was a woman as these type of bullying actions are normally perpetrated by men.

I find women are just as bad actually.

Sellorkeep · 21/08/2022 16:16

This is what your horn is for. Don’t sweat it.

girlmom21 · 21/08/2022 16:30

Was there a slip road to join the carriageway and then a slip road to exit?

Ideally you should have slowed slightly to allow merging traffic to join the carriageway if you weren't moving over to clear the lane.

You should only use your horn if she wasn't aware you were there, not to reprimand someone.

DangerouslyBored · 21/08/2022 16:56

Valeriekat · 21/08/2022 16:08

I find women are just as bad actually.

Show quote history

Absolutely

BigChesterDraws · 21/08/2022 17:05

It was appropriate to use the horn if you think she didn’t see you and was about to hit you. It wasn’t appropriate to use it to express your dissatisfaction with her maneuver after the event.

LampLighter414 · 21/08/2022 17:07

Valeriekat · 21/08/2022 16:08

I find women are just as bad actually.

Show quote history

Yep me too. In fact often more mouthy because they know they’re less likely to get into a physical fight, especially if it’s a man they’re abusing

MrsGluck · 21/08/2022 17:14

BigChesterDraws · 21/08/2022 17:05

It was appropriate to use the horn if you think she didn’t see you and was about to hit you. It wasn’t appropriate to use it to express your dissatisfaction with her maneuver after the event.

^This

The more important lesson to learn from this incident is that some drivers are aggressive arseholes and it's best to stay well away from them.