Men holding hands in the Street

[girlfriend44]

Saw two men walking along hand in hand earlier and I admired their bravery and thought hope nobody starts on them.
Have seen women before but not men?
Do you think they were brave. Would you be scared for them if they were your sons?
Brave men. Perhaps it's something we will see more of in the future?

I’m a bi woman in a same sex relationship and I’m sorry to say that we’ve had hassle in all sorts of places, including places you’d assume everyone was fine. Despite advances there are still a small number of hardcore homophobes and all gay people are aware of that.

Handholding has connections to childhood trauma and can be infantilisating which is probably why people tend to hold hands less as they get older
Sorry but what a load of crap lol.
DH is 50 and I'm not far off and we still hold hands sometimes when we're out!
No past trauma either

I said had connections. Not that everyone who holds hands is traumatised. I probably didn't offer enough detail. Apologies.

I live in London and it is really common to see men and women holding hands.

As evidenced in this thread. In cities, like London, Manchester etc, it would be no big deal, and people wouldn't even notice

Have you read this thread? Well clearly you haven't.

Ooh you called my friends a name. I’m sure they’ll lose sleep over it lol.
You go ahead and call names and act like you’re in middle school, it makes me never mind.
At least my friends and I aren’t on the “hater spectrum.” Whom else do you hate & harass online? You certainly seem practiced. Bet I could think of a couple of famous people where you join in on the anti- threads, because you sound like a pro. I’d also wager that you’re proud of yourself for it.
Knock yourself out.

I'm sorry, but bullshit.

Handholding does not have connections to 'childhood trauma'. I would love to know all the many, peer-reviewed studies you're drawing on, when you make this claim?

I live in an area with an ageing population. Couples typically hold hands because one or other of them isn't very steady on their feet. And yes, round here, a lot of people in their 60s aren't in great health, and do need someone to steady them.

YY, I agree with this distinction.

@IDreamOfTheMoors

You are fucking batshit.

Let's solve the mystery by explaining that despite you seeing same sex couples all the time, in others areas of the country, it's much less common. Where I live, I have NEVER seen a MM couple holding hands in public. I expect, but don't know, that that is because they don't feel safe doing so. Obviously, we should live in a world where people can be themselves without fear of abuse or violence but it's naive to not recognise that we have a long way to go

I assume you don't live in London because I see it all the time as well as men kissing. It's 2022, why should anyone care?

YANBU. Homophobia still exists. We are still taking a huge risk every time we demonstrate our sexuality in public.

Also in Hackers, and I find it so interesting how different the rest of the country (or even other bits of London) are about things we take for granted. Kingsland Road on a Friday night would be a revelation to quite a few MNers.

I’m never moving. 😂

I’m guessing you’re straight. I also live in London. My gf and I still get hassle.

Don’t assume that because you’re not homophobic, no one else is. Where I live 99/100 of people are absolutely fine but 1/100 is actually quite a lot to have to deal with.

It doesnt happen where i'm from, i'm the only gay in the village

But what if the children saw?!?!?

It seems clear this thread is, accidentally, proving that some Londoners really do live very, very far up their own arses.

Yes, it’s brave and I would like to see far more of it. I married a closeted gay man (I obviously didn’t know at the time) and wasted so much time thinking I wasn’t good enough and that I wasn’t attractive. The more gay people are visible, represented, and supported, the better as far as I’m concerned. It means fewer gay people will feel they need to conform to heteronormative stereotypes and hide who they are.

Yeah, Hackney - sorry, Hackers! I forgot we were in a Jilly Cooper novel - sounds like such a safe place in terms of avoiding homophobic violence.

www.hackneycitizen.co.uk/2019/01/23/nine-men-sentenced-shocking-homophobic-acid-attack-dalston/

Don’t assume that because you’re not homophobic, no one else is. Where I live 99/100 of people are absolutely fine but 1/100 is actually quite a lot to have to deal with
That's just it, isn't it.
I'm not naive enough to think just because I'd be fine seeing two men holding hands, that means everyone would be.
Also how would people know if you were a "nice accepting" person or a bigot who'd shout abuse or scowl and mutter at you as you went past?!
They wouldn't and can't imagine what that would be like, of course they wouldn't automatically feel safe

It's 2022 not 1982. Not brave, normal.

I suppose this is equivalent of "I don't see colour". I suspect you are rather naive if you think that gay men (or women) don't ever have to face any glares, vile comments or abuse.

But it isn’t. And it’s very naieve to think it is. It should be but it isn’t or homophobia wouldn’t be a thing

It's not bullshit. As children, holding hands is a physical representation of safety.

And I wasn't talking about holding hands for reasons of safety and stability- I was specifically referring to reasons where partners still feel the need to hold hands romantically. Yes it happens, but it's a lot less common than when couples are in the first flush of love. There's good reasons we seek out physical touch (esp handholding) as adults and it is pretty much always to do with security and reassurance.

Erm, yes I have. But I think more people have said they’ve witnessed hand holding going unnoticed in cities and towns than not…..