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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask how to reassure DD about this?

53 replies

Likeadiamondintheskyatnight · 20/08/2022 18:20

DD’s favourite soft toy is a Minnie Mouse from Walt Disney world in Florida.
all day she’s been upset and complaining that Minnie is “broke”. I keep telling her that Minnie isn’t broke and I’ve even checked Minnie just to be sure! But she’s literally in floods of tears saying Minnie is broke! What do I do?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Likeadiamondintheskyatnight · 20/08/2022 18:35

So the bit the says is broke is where one of the ears is stitched onto the bow, apparently it’s “loose”, apparently looser than it was but it’s not

apparently I broke it when I accidentally sat on Minnie yesterday, it was on the couch and I accidentally sat down on it and got up straight away and moved it when I felt it

OP posts:
Original poster
Likeadiamondintheskyatnight · 20/08/2022 18:36

She’s crying right now about it

OP posts:
Original poster
Likeadiamondintheskyatnight · 20/08/2022 18:38

I was sat on it for less than 2 seconds but I sat down quite hard so it bounced up a centimetres when i sat down and then I got up straight away as felt it and moved Minnie and put her next to me so I wasn’t sat on it, and DD saw this happen.

I know what everyone’s going to say, it’s my fault for accidentally sitting on it, but it was an accident I wouldn’t have done it on purpose

OP posts:
PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 20/08/2022 18:40

Sitting on it wouldn’t have broken it. You could have ragged Minnie around like there was no tomorrow and she would have been fine.

Original poster
Likeadiamondintheskyatnight · 20/08/2022 18:42

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 20/08/2022 18:40

Sitting on it wouldn’t have broken it. You could have ragged Minnie around like there was no tomorrow and she would have been fine.

I know, and I’ve checked Minnie! She’s not broke! I just don’t know how to make DD see this, obviously I know she struggles to understand things because she has autism

OP posts:
Original poster
Likeadiamondintheskyatnight · 20/08/2022 18:43

Sorry if I’m coming across as rude, it’s just been a long day, and DD has been nonstop crying and saying Minnie is broke

OP posts:
Bikeybikeface · 20/08/2022 18:43

Just sew it? Stitch the bow to the ear? Ask her what she’d like you to do? Acknowledge you shouldn’t have sat on it, apologise and promise not to do it again?

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 20/08/2022 18:43

I know what everyone’s going to say, it’s my fault for accidentally sitting on it, but it was an accident I wouldn’t have done it on purpose

Hang on, what? I don't for one second think anyone will say that let alone think it. Your DD being this upset, while frustrating for you, is NOT your fault

Original poster
Likeadiamondintheskyatnight · 20/08/2022 18:44

Bikeybikeface · 20/08/2022 18:43

Just sew it? Stitch the bow to the ear? Ask her what she’d like you to do? Acknowledge you shouldn’t have sat on it, apologise and promise not to do it again?

I’ve already said sorry and promised not to do it again. The thing is the bow and ear isn’t any looser, it’s stitched on perfectly already I’ve checked

OP posts:
NanaNelly · 20/08/2022 18:46

Likeadiamondintheskyatnight · 20/08/2022 18:23

DD is 11 but has autism and adhd

Show quote history

I did wonder. So, what your DD wants Is for it to look as if it’s never been broken at all?

tellyiscrap · 20/08/2022 18:49

OP .. could you have an imaginary phone call to Minnie's Dr , let DD hear you tell the Dr you are worried Minnie may be broken and take advice from Dr to give Minnie a big hug , she wants a cuddle from her favour person ( DD) maybe an empty teaspoon of special medicine and a rest ... perhaps Minnie can recover ?

helpfulperson · 20/08/2022 18:49

Do you have a partner or friend etc who could collect it, take it away for an hour to 'fix' it and bring it back for bedtime.

fUNNYfACE36 · 20/08/2022 18:50

11!!
Ignore

Haffiana · 20/08/2022 18:51

I don't understand this. Your DD says it is broken and that you broke it.

For some reason you are stuck in the position that it isn't broken and that you only sat on it for 2 seconds and you didn't do it and you are innocent and there is nothing wrong with it anyway and it wasn't you that did anything to it and and...

For gods sake. There needs to be an adult here. It isn't about you, your guilt and how you feel, or whether you think there is anything broken or not.

Your daughter is upset and you are her mother. Listen to her. Approach it that you and she are going to work out how to fix it. But LISTEN to her.

NanaNelly · 20/08/2022 18:52

fUNNYfACE36 · 20/08/2022 18:50

11!!
Ignore

🙄

TeenDivided · 20/08/2022 18:55

Can you agree but say she is bruised and that she'll be fine tomorrow?

Or make her some tight fitting clothes?

NanaNelly · 20/08/2022 18:57

Haffiana · 20/08/2022 18:51

I don't understand this. Your DD says it is broken and that you broke it.

For some reason you are stuck in the position that it isn't broken and that you only sat on it for 2 seconds and you didn't do it and you are innocent and there is nothing wrong with it anyway and it wasn't you that did anything to it and and...

For gods sake. There needs to be an adult here. It isn't about you, your guilt and how you feel, or whether you think there is anything broken or not.

Your daughter is upset and you are her mother. Listen to her. Approach it that you and she are going to work out how to fix it. But LISTEN to her.

I think the DD believes that If someone sits on something it breaks - even when it doesn’t. So in her mind Minnie is broken even when it’s not. Trying to repair it in anyway won’t work either as the DD wants Minnie not to have been sat at all. She wants Minnie the way she has always been.

NanaNelly · 20/08/2022 18:59

@Haffiana - the above is an explanation from the Autistic perspective. Not that I’m autistic. But my son is. Severely. And I’ve had decades of practice at this.

Hankunamatata · 20/08/2022 19:03

Could she be deflecting from something else?

You may just have to ride it out. I wouldn't offer to fix or do anything just tell her its ok to have big feelings and be upset.

Haffiana · 20/08/2022 19:03

@NanaNelly My point is that OP is simply telling her daughter that it isn't broken. She isn't listening...

Autistic or not, her DD believes it IS broken. Telling her it isn't and that it is absolutely fine and OP couldn't possibly have broken it etc etc is just opposing and negating her daughter's feelings on the matter.

Soubriquet · 20/08/2022 19:08

I’m sure it’s incredibly hard right now OP especially as your dd can’t verbalise it, but can you heavily apologise, kiss and cuddle Minnie and see if that helps

icesnowandwater · 20/08/2022 19:23

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 20/08/2022 19:25

fUNNYfACE36 · 20/08/2022 18:50

11!!
Ignore

No need to be a bitch

Oinkypig · 20/08/2022 19:26

Would you be able to order a new Minnie with DD help online or would that just not be her Minnie? That’s a tricky one I do think a pp got it right when they said your DD thinks it’s broken so telling her Minnie isn’t broken won’t help. It seems like your DD knows it’s a toy so the bandage and Dr ideas won’t work, I think trying to pretend you have sewed is your best bet.

Or, I don’t know offer her a trip to Disney land to pick a new one???? (That is a joke just in case anyone thinks it’s a serious suggestion)

Hope you get it sorted

NoSquirrels · 20/08/2022 19:27

It doesn’t matter if it’s not ‘broke’, if the stitching is still fine, if the bow isn’t looser.

Your DD thinks it is, so just act as if she’s correct. Get a needle and thread, do some extra stitches.

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