To be exhausted and aching at the end of every day?

[Fudgeycaramel]

Is this normal, or am I just old, knackered and past it?

Am 42, with a fast-approaching 2 year old. And I’m so tired. My back aches, my hips hurt, my legs groan.

Is this just a normal part of being a slightly older mum than average? Or is it a sign something isn’t quite right?

I'm 45 and feel the same.
I eat healthily, exercise 3-4 times a week at least, plus walk as much as possible, my BMI is 19.7. I try really hard to look after myself and still I feel awful.
I have been backwards and forwards to the GP since last December with a number of ailments (unexplained abdominal pain being the main one) and it has been really really hard to get them to show any interest or do anything.

When I started to creak I started taking cod liver oil. I do think it helps.

OP are you still breastfeeding? I have a 22mo and am 40. I also have a 5yo. Still feeding the toddler. The relaxin means your joints are all over the place . I feel like you some days and also often v stuff and creaky when I first get out of bed in the morning. I actually feel worse in the first 2 years after my youngest, at 35g. I'm hoping it will improve when I wean

A couple of years ago (I’m 40 now) I was having a lot of problems - inflammation in joints, weird aches and pains, sciatica, knee and back pain.

I overhauled my diet, had blood tests to check for deficiencies and started doing yoga and strength exercises. Getting lots of steps is great but it will do nothing for your core and muscles in general, which need to be strong to support your back and joints.

I feel better now than I have since my early twenties, and the aches and pains have gone. I kept a symptoms diary back then to try to identify patterns, and I haven’t had to write anything in it for months. When I started it, I was writing a list of all sorts of odd things every day.

I’m 40 with 3yr old. 0-2 were brutal for me. I’m carrying extra weight, the physical demands of a baby and I think my core is not great post baby which gives me back and hip issues. I do feel better now we are closer to 3 (more sleep for one thing). Trying to get on with losing some weight to improve things.

I'm 42 with a two year old (and a 5 year old and a 7 year old!) and I wouldn't say I feel like this.

I do have a bit of a bad back, but unless I'm doing something very physical beyond my usual activities then my body isn't sore and I'm not exhausted. Having young kids can be tiring, but it's not an overwhelming thing.

I am pretty active and fit, I run a few times a week and lift weights a few other times. I feel
Like this keeps my body feeling strong and healthy.

Tiredness and aches and pains turned out to be vitamin D for me. Worth a check.

I’ve been like this since 30, GP most unhelpful and nothing showed up in blood tests. They’ve said bursitis” in my hip and the physio said “tendinitis” pretty much all over my body but it’s still the same 5 years later 🤷🏻‍♀️
I’ve had a painful right hip since teens though and never had any answers.

I’m 42 and feel fine so I would be surprised if it was age related. Plus I’m not that fit and a bit overweight so definitely have some work to do in that respect. However I don’t have a small child to carry around or run around after. And I had hip and back issues for at least 2-3 years after DD was born and that was back in my mid thirties. I did a lot of physio to get things back in order after having alot of hip and back issues during pregnancy. I had misalignment and poor posture that needed fixing but I’m fine now thank goodness.

No one’s judging you. You’ve asked if your tiredness is normal, or if it might be a sign of something more serious. Then you’ve told everyone it’s just because you’re running after the toddler and have prior-injuries 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you don’t want input from strangers on the internet (who don’t know anything about you and are making completely uneducated guesses about what your symptoms could possibly be) don’t ask for it.

Get your Vit B12 checked! If you Google symptoms of deficiency its amazing how detrimental it can be

I was like you op and diagnosed with arthritis when I was 43 with a 9 month old DD. Since then I've had two spinal operations and a hip replacement. The other hip needs doing and I have constant back, neck and hand pain and cracking knees .
I work full time ( and am now 55 ) and am exhausted. My Saturdays are literally for recovery. Sundays housework and shopping.
You have my sympathy

I had my DS at 40 and had v similar issues to you re back pain OP. Carrying him on right hip too much, and then returned to work with a 1.5 hour commute by car each way 3 times a week = massive flare up.

Mine escalated to inflamed discs and totally immobilising back pain. Saw an osteopath. Got a back brace. Took ibuprofen as a regular anti inflammatory med on his advice for two weeks. Did not pick up DS. Or drive. Or do anything much.
When it subsided, I started pilates. And swimming regularly again. And riding bike. Cured it - with odd flare ups even now nearly ten years on.

Recently not been able to do pilates or swim as much and back getting dodgy again.

So yes very similar too for me OP, and was very fit and active before the issues set in. So I agree the "it's your fault" type comments aren't really helpful or accurate

I'd firstly go see a physio, especially one that specialises in womens health. Yes to Pilates. So many aches and pains are linked to weak core / pelvic stability worsened in pregnancy. I think people assume stuff that is all about continence, it's not - aches from knees to hips to back so often come down to this stuff. Downside it means you have to put the effort in with the exercises to build that strength back. I expect a GP to be not much use really for this area (sadly).

If you think you don't have much balance or strength, maybe start with gentle yoga before Pilates. IMO Pilates is quite hard. I tried it once when I was younger and quit. This time I had done a year of yoga first and I've stuck with it. I can't say I ever grew to love it, I still find it quite boring to be honest, but I have very hypermobile joints and if my core is weak the back and shoulder pain is significant. If you commit, it really does work. I used to be on codeine for my back and now I'm off everything except for the occasional paracetamol.

I had a lot of back pain at this point - tried lots of different things to help but for me the one that made a real difference was some one to one Pilates. I couldn't have joined in a class as wouldn't have been able to do the exercises without individual modifications.
I also benefited from Yamuna body rolling but I'm not sure how easy it is to find a practitioner for that one.
Osteopathy provided temporary relief, ditto sports massage. Accupuncture and chiropractic was not helpful at all.