To give my 18 month old Macdonalds?

[Benji4ever]

Twice a month I take my two DS swimming all afternoon. On way home we get a drive through Macdonalds

The 3 year old has a happy meal. The 18 month old has a few of the chips. That's it.

I saw a mum give me one of those looks as I took some chips from the happy meal and gave them to the little one.

Is this awful? Its only twice a month and only a few chips. Also the 18 month old drink diluted squash regularly.

Aibu to think in the grand scheme of things its not that bad?

We didn't eat like that either. I didn't even know things like Pop tarts existed in the 80s? But the difference was my parents issues did rub off on me. The 80s was when diet culture started and my mum was on a non-stop diet.

@Benji4ever sorry but no, my son is also 3, born August 2019 and has been to the dentist. He was 7 months old when lockdown was introduced the first time, so had already been once. He was then seen October 2020, June 2021, January 2022 & August 2022. Yes, there have been delays with them not quite being 6 months but he has still been seen. There’s no excuse.

Also, I just want to be clear, @Benji4ever you are NOT a “seemingly shitty single mum.” Please don’t say that about yourself.

We’re all doing the best we can. If you didn’t realize squash was quite so much of an issue (the first warning many parents get is from their dentist, who explains it’s a perfect storm for tooth decay because it has both sugar and acid), that doesn’t mean you don’t love your children, or you’re not trying to do your best for them. If anything, my advice was based on how hard I know it is to stay strong when a toddler is melting down; I just thought thinking, “Oh god, not the bloody dentist,” would help you get over breaking the squash issue. But please don’t feel you’re not doing the best you can.

This is all solvable. You’ll find a dentist who takes children (as most people have pointed out, dentists in their area must take children), you’ll stop the squash, it sounds like you’re brushing both children’s teeth, even with a struggle, and a McDonald’s twice a month is not the end of the world, or even very important, as long as whatever they eat for the rest of the day is relatively healthy. You’re trying to take them for swimming lessons on top of everything else. Look, you’ll get there. Good luck.

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet op called herself a shitty single mum, I said I'm one too

You’re his Mum, do what you think is okay.

I don’t remember it like that either - snacking between meals definitely wasn’t a thing! Food was at meal times and treats were for pudding.

I was an 80’s child and remember diet culture but my mum, who was overweight (she eats like a sparrow but has an insanely slow metabolism bless her) never once made a disparaging remark about herself or expressed that she felt overweight. She lost it all when we were adults for health reasons. It I’m pleased she didn’t leave any of us with issues!

For me, the squash is a big no no. My DS is 21 months and he has either water or milk. I intend to keep this going as long as I can.

The McDonalds thing is such a personal choice. For me, it would be a no but not because I am against him having a treat. Simply because neither me or my partner see McDonalds as a treat at all and would actively avoid eating in one ourselves. We did all have a burger last weekend though as a family treat in a local burger restaurant that was a finalist in the national burger awards this year. Their patties are handmade and far less processed and the children's’ fries come Unseasoned as standard. I had a burger loaded with chorizo (which DS tried and loved) and DH had blue cheese on his fries which DS loves so had some of that too. These are all things we would eat at home anyway so all good with me!

The few fries in McDonalds as a treat wouldn’t overly concern me if it’s something you enjoy as a family but I would try to avoid it become an expected routine at that age.

Well there is, OP couldn’t get into a dentist. It’s also called a ‘reason’.

Obviously it’s a postcode lottery too as my area/dentist doesn’t see children before they 18 months

For our 4YO dd we adopt a 'more' approach.... more vegetables, more excercise, more homecooked and varied food rather than drilling into her about certain foods/drinks being evil. We do have a 'one sweet thing only a day' rule but generally don't heavily restrict crap food. She has a bit of a sweet tooth but also has a very varied taste enjoying quite sophisticated food eg olives. And yes, shock horror, she's allowed squash (it's virtually zero calories, I don't really get the harm) She's going to discover junk food at some point so teaching her to have a good relationship with it rather than see it as 'forbidden fruit' that she can rebel against us with in her teenage years is far better than only letting her experience water and carrott sticks IMHO

It's the taking them to McDonald's for Banana bread that is funny! I didn't even know McDonald's did banana bread!

I'll be honest - I would never have given a 3-year-old or younger sibling a Mcdonald's.

And I certainly would not have ever given squash.

But I was very anal about their diets. I don't think it's the end of the world to give them the odd bit of crap, but I don't understand why giving squash-type drinks needs to start.

I go to a great dentist. The majority of his patients are from low-income families. He often tells me - despairingly- about the level of decay he sees in the teeth of very small children because they are given sweetened drinks.

@88milesanhour I don’t want to personally attack anyone. I just wanted to address your comment about the squash so you’re aware. The problem is the acid, as it erodes teeth, even if you buy sugar-free squash. It’s your choice as a parent. Please just make sure she drinks it quickly, versus letting it sit on her teeth for 20 minutes, rinses her teeth after drinking it, brushes twice a day, etc, or she’ll be experiencing tooth erosion from it, and it won’t matter if it was sugar-free.
Source: www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/43167086.amp
Reason: I had a lot of necessary dental work as a child and it was horrific. I’d like to save other children from unnecessary dental work.

How does your dentist know the income of the families he treats?

The few chips is not the issue to me, it's the three year old having the so-called Happy Meal.

My 18mo will happily eat a whole veggie happy meal, maybe leaving a few chips behind. He’s only given water tho. And like you, maybe once a month max really…

Is it healthy? Nope! Do I care? Nope. What others in the restaurant won’t see is that at home we do not have any chocolate or sweets, drink only water, no added salt to anything, no processed meats as we are vegetarians and basically all home cooked meals. Let them judge, just smile and wave!

sorry but no, my son is also 3, born August 2019 and has been to the dentist. He was 7 months old when lockdown was introduced the first time, so had already been once. He was then seen October 2020, June 2021, January 2022 & August 2022. Yes, there have been delays with them not quite being 6 months but he has still been seen. There’s no excuse.

Bloody hell @Louise0701 - you are not messing about. You took a baby who was under 7 months to the dentist? I don't think either of mine had teeth at that point.

Are people deliberately spelling it wrong? A bit like when people deliberately misspell wetherspoons as weatherspoons to indicate that they'd never frequent such an establishment and therefore have no idea of the correct spelling.

I wasn’t the one giving my kids banana bread, I don’t think my kids have actually ever eaten banana bread, and definitely not at McDonald’s.

Foods just not really an issue here. No food is bad but my kids know some food is to be eaten very often and some is to be eaten much less often. It’s just common sense. No damage caused. It’s my job as a parent to educate them so now they’re teens they make good decisions about food and will hopefully live long, healthy lives.

@VacayingInTheHamptons i know you weren’t the banana bread person, didn’t mean to imply you were.

But a healthy life is about having healthy relationships with food not just giving them the healthy stuff. As I’m sure you know and follow! Just not sure other people realise that

I have to say I have seen this too. I have a dear friend who is very into nutrition (as am I too) but I felt she took it too far with her DC. They had to ask for any type of food, portion size was strictly controlled and unhealthy 'treats' became forbidden fruit as eaten so rarely. It was a night mare to try and share food with the DC - picnic type situation as they would just grab and horde as much of the shared food as they could. Now as teens they are very secretive with buying food/drinks. One has a pop habit and the other a Monster habit and both smoke. One throws her healthy packed lunch away as she finds it embarrassing and begs, borrows or steals for junk food. Hopefully it will all come out in the wash as friend has nothing but good intentions.

My dd has had McDonald's, KFC, burger king etc since a year old. I couldn't give a rat's what anyone thinks!

You can do whatever you like. But seeing as you asked for opinions - I think it’s pretty disgraceful to feed children McDonalds (or any fried/processed meat).

But, I am in the minority - looking at the norm of school and nursery dinners (pizza, sausages, burgers, nuggets, fish fingers - at a NURSERY), you are not alone.

You can do whatever you like. But seeing as you asked for opinions - I think it’s pretty disgraceful to feed children McDonalds (or any fried/processed meat)

Could you explain what you believe is "disgraceful" about potatoes fried in oil? Or a 100% beef patty with nothing added bar salt and pepper?

The OP asked for opinions if SWBU