Is this normal for a 3 year old?

[Everestt]

Hi all

I am wondering if this is normal 3 year old behaviour or not. Most of the time she is very lovely and kind. But everyday recently there has been some part of the day where she is being very difficult.

1. She keeps having mighty tantrums over very small things. She kicks, screams, slaps out and try’s to headbutt me.
2. she throws things all around the room.
3. She wants to have everything her way and gets very upset if it isn’t.
4. She asks for something and when I give it her she said she doesn’t want it and throws it.
5. She asks for something and then says ‘no not that one’
6. If her food is cut up or if there’s a tiny piece that has broken off something she gets upset and asks for a ‘better one’
7. If something is not done a certain way she will have a melt down about it.
8. She keeps running off from me when we are out even though I have told her many times it is dangerous but she seems to find it funny.

She pretty much gets really upset if things are not exactly how she wants them and it is very hard to rationalise with her.

Is this normal for her age?

So what are the consequences for her behaviour

I counted down the days to 4th birthday....

Yes, reins, distractions and consequences are great tools in your arsenal to counteract the threenager.

It gets better from 4.5+

mines the same , serves me right for thinking I’d avoided the terrible twos and how lucky I was. Soon as they turned 3 that was it … I’m really struggling with mine I’m utterly exhausted, just doesn’t sit still and that tantrums come with hitting screaming and scratching.

Oh god, my Dd just turned 4 and is *Still like this…started after her third birthday, was so bloody easy and lovely at 2 in comparison 🙈
Is it normal to still be like this at 4?

Normal. My DD had a meltdown yesterday because I gave her the wrong colour spoon to eat her yoghurt and then because ‘she wanted daddy to come upstairs’. Daddy was upstairs, he was stood right next to her when she said it 😕 they’re mad at this age.

My son is much easier. Caught him eating the whole thing, wrapper wax and all. No complaints from him 🤣 but he's only one. There's time...

I think it could be normal but it might not be. I suppose it depends how frequently each thing is happening and what the behaviour is like in between. I haven’t seen many 3 year olds head butting their parents but I have seen a lot of tantrums.

That list is literally the job description of a 3 year old :)

A few days ago I heard my 3 year old shrieking in the dining room, I ran in and he was crying his eyes out. When I asked what was wrong he said "I don't know how to juggle!!" The thing is, I don't think he was even trying to juggle, they were no balls or anything in the room.

Yesterday there was a 30 minute tantrum because he can't draw a perfect school bus. Managed to calm him down, and then a whole pad of paper was launched across the room because he can't draw triangles.

On the plus side, he's just the sweetest thing in the world, makes me little "dinners" picks me flowers, and brings me stones that look like mamas and babies to him.

Have you heard of the term "threenager"? Lots of memes on google to make yourself chuckle.

One of mine was a nightmare. I wasn't allowed to be in the toilet with them or even look at them, was told to go away. Obviously the second I did it was "help me wipe my bum" & "why did you take so long" 🤬

DS was like this. The giveaway that he's neurodiverse was that it started with headbutting the ground and screaming when he understood "no" at 10m and was still going strong at 5, calmed at 6 then had a reprisal at 7. When I sat down to mind map it all out, I found that all his little quirks over the years added up to a big picture with themes developing. Plus he had a speech delay which reached the stage of intervention at 3 so we had a very intelligent, perfectionist child who'd erupt when his communucation of point, grunt/ basic word failed.

It's the biggest reason I stopped at 2 children just behind shit pregnancies/ births and diagnosis wasn't on my radar then. I already had DS2 who was easier but a bolter and I'd frequently have to leave DS1 screaming and pummelling the ground while sprinting after my Houdini-esque Usain Bolt! (But at least he had a cheery disposition)

My tips are reins (I used to have to use the harness to clip DS1 into the trolley to stop him diving head first out of it), stay calm, don't take it personally, don't try catering to their every whim and look for patterns e.g. hunger/ tired/ stimulation levels and see if you can manage the triggers to some extent.

In most children it's a normal phase. In ND children there would be other patterns and probably far more prolonged... like years of it.

It’s a horrid age OP. Ride it out, it will get better and you will soon have a much nicer child.