To not want to spend a week of precious hols with in-laws

[Thisiswhatmakesusgirls]

Dh is rarely off, one week last year and Christmas for two.
He has two weeks off and we’re all excited to spend it together, mainly around where we live (beach area) and will go away for a few days.
Dh’s family is now coming to stay for the first week (not with us, but not far)
Aibu not to want to spend a full week of our own family hols with them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well they are family too… and it doesn’t sound like you do this often. So I’m gonna go with YABU. Although I do see the annoyance, they aren’t even staying with you so just say you’re busy some of the days.

@BattenburgDonkey Would that be rude though? Do you think they expect to spend every day together?

Book your few days away that first week they are there. Spend a couple days with them and then off you go on holiday

Yes I think yabu too unless big back story. Good they are not staying with you and they've only just announced it, it's totally fine for you to say we already had x y z booked in for these days. You don't have to spend every moment together

What does your husband want to do, would he think that's rude? they are his family after all

No I don’t think it’s rude at all! I would assume they’d like to do their own thing for some of the days too, my in laws certainly do.

Depends how far away they live and how often you see them. On the face of it, YABU.

I'd be disappointed. Why can't he take more leave? Or is he a workaholic?

@No2incoming Im sure they’d be pretty pissed off if we only spent two days with them 🙈😬

Did they even bother to check with you if this was a good time before they booked?

@AryaStarkWolf I think he’s going to just sort of play it by ear with what they say/want to do…that leaves it open for them to say they want to meet up everyday though 😩

@Aquamarine1029 They didn’t know Dh was off as he’s only just been given/decided on the holidays now…I think they still think he’ll be working…I wish Dh would just say he still was 🤣

Use your words
Sorry can’t meet tomorrow in laws but we would love to see you on Wednesday

@MrsTerryPratchett He’ll have two more weeks at Christmas, but I just really wanted it to be just us for a nice break over summer

Do you think it would be fair to book from the Friday onwards to go away? So we’d see them when they arrive (the Sunday) then whichever days they wanted until the Thursday (we’d go away on the Fri)

Ruder than telling them you don't want to see them at all?

@Underanothersky Obviously can’t/won’t say that

Is DH excited / looking forward to see them?

Are they grandparents / cousins that the Dc will be exited to see?

They were expecting DH to be working so presumably fairly self sufficient. Say ‘we are available to get together on these days (2 maybe?) and such and such evening.

Can you not speak to them and see what their expectations are? Plan some days out / activities together that you'd all enjoy?
Unless there's a massive backstory you seem unreasonable. Imagine yourself in their position in 20 years and your son, daughter in law and grandchildren fuck off on holiday when you've come to visit, you'd probably be heartbroken.

@SuperCamp I think so, but perhaps not for the whole time.
No one for her to play with

We need a lot more info.

Do you have kids? How old?

Where do they live? How often do you see them?

Do you generally see far more of your own family than his?

Hard to say what's reasonable without a bit of context.

@Schooldil3ma Theyre not mil & fil

@Schooldil3ma i keep trying to sort of arrange with Dh what we’ll be doing and he just doesn’t answer. I think he’s literally going to go with whatever they say

@BishyBarnyBee They have a teenager, we have a 4 year old. We don’t see them often due to distance. We see more of my family, just because they come to visit much more often

Can he change his holidays to a different week, in that case? They will never know