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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Femfresh

64 replies

Dazedandconfused0 · 17/08/2022 21:51

I have done loads of work on my boundaries and learned loads - spent two years single to avoid the cycle of missing red flags and ending up being treated like crap.

I met a guy on Tinder - 39/M professional - he has some posing pictures at a car and some tattoos. His bio says ‘I am only here to check out your filters’ then a million emojis protraying his hobbies and interests. As he is in the same profession as me as I swiped and we matched.

we have had three dates in a week all arranged by him - paid for by him etc. He is texting
loads.

I went to his flat for the fourth date and noticed a bottle of ‘Femfresh’ the popular feminine hygiene product in the basket of toiletries on full display.
He is quite handsy and was kissing me in the taxi on our last date (fine) and then texted me when he got home ‘wish you were here beautiful’.

I think he is just after sex - it seems all a bit rehearsed and love bomby. I want a relationship. Its fine if he is looking for casual but I do not get the slow and steady vibe of looking for a relationship.

The Femfresh gives me creepy vibes - I do not know why specifically - I suppose its because I know another woman has been specifically washing her voovoo there. He lives himself.

AIBU?
what else can you expect from T-bomb.

OP posts:

Mangogogogo · 18/08/2022 12:10

Wonderwoman333 · 18/08/2022 07:52

That's creepy, if I stayed over at someone's house presumably for sex and they had a basket of 'girl things' I would think he was either in a relationship or a player. It would really put me off.

With regards to OP the femfresh makes him look like he has women over regularly. As for him saying all men are bastards he is definitely letting you know that he is one.

Stay away is my advice.

Show quote history

Or a serial killer who keeps trophies…

Antarcticant · 18/08/2022 12:14

Voovoo?

LooseGoose22 · 18/08/2022 12:23

10HailMarys · 18/08/2022 09:44

'Handsy' suggests he's being pushy with the physical
'Wish you were here beautiful' is OTT and cringe at this stage
'Just here to check out your filters' is thinly-veiled misogyny about women making themselves look prettier than they are on dating apps
'All men are bastards' is his excuse for treating women like shit
Prominently displayed Femfresh in the bathroom should make any woman's bits snap shut like a bulldog clip, frankly. It's basically saying 'I often have women over, and also I think women's genitals are a bit smelly and must be thoroughly washed with a special product to not be disgusting.'

Femfresh isn't like keeping some tampons in the cupboard for female visitors in case of emergencies. It is a very specific product for a very specific thing, and most women quite rightly don't use it because it's a marketing scam aimed at making women think their fanny smells. The first thing most doctors tell you if you have any form of discomfort down there is to wash your bits with plain water instead of using soaps, shower gels or Femfresh type products because they're not that good for you and it is abnormal for genitals to smell of nothing. The presence of Femfresh in his house and the 'filters' remark on his Instagram suggests that this is a man who has some pretty misogynistic views about women.

Run for the hills, is what I'm saying. Please.

Show quote history

All this.

The All men being bastards comment is enough on its own.

He thinks it's normal (ergo acceptable) for men to act badly.

Vapeyvapevape · 18/08/2022 12:33

The Femfresh is an insult to women - red flag.

All men are bastards - red flag

He sounds like a knob and I'd avoid him at all costs.

katishot · 18/08/2022 12:46

When I met DP he had a basket of “girl things” like hair ties, make up remover, cotton wool pads, hairbrush etc in his bathroom because he thought it was just the polite thing to do if there was a chance he’d have an unplanned female overnight guest who hadn’t brought her own stuff

Good God.
This made me heave.
Thank fuck my heterosexuality died completely about 3 years ago.

katishot · 18/08/2022 12:48

OP, glad you have ended it.
There's just something so awful about the fucking FemFresh.
Don't know whether you'd had sex with him yet but wouldn't be surprised if he says to the women he's about to have sex with that they need to go and freshen up with the fucking FemFresh before beginning.
Yuk. Again... heave... vom.....

CrimsonCountess · 18/08/2022 12:51

YABU just for the use of voovoo

Original poster

Dazedandconfused0 · 18/08/2022 12:55

CrimsonCountess · 18/08/2022 12:51

YABU just for the use of voovoo

😂

OP posts:

WaveyHair · 18/08/2022 12:56

’look, I am going to be honest with you here X. All Men are bastards’.

sorry but this reminds me of much of the IT Crowd episode....they used that exact phrase....

Original poster

Dazedandconfused0 · 18/08/2022 12:57

katishot · 18/08/2022 12:48

Goodness knows. Did not have sex - I would not have felt safe with him. In the sense that there are too many red flags etc.

OP posts:

TriptotheBog · 18/08/2022 13:05

MyLifeIsFictional · 17/08/2022 22:51

@ComtesseDeSpair
When I met DP he had a basket of “girl things” like hair ties, make up remover, cotton wool pads, hairbrush etc in his bathroom because he thought it was just the polite thing to do if there was a chance he’d have an unplanned female overnight guest who hadn’t brought her own stuff

Hahaha and you fell for it.

I'm sorry pp but this is the ultimate ick. He's such a nice guy that he provides a sleepover kit for his booty calls. I'd be outta there so fast!
And they all share a hairbrush!

TriptotheBog · 18/08/2022 13:06

God, he’s not the same guy that’s the Period Dignity Advisor, is he?

😂😂

katishot · 18/08/2022 13:08

Goodness knows. Did not have sex - I would not have felt safe with him. In the sense that there are too many red flags etc

Good.
You have firm boundaries in place.

Purplecatshopaholic · 18/08/2022 13:15

The bastard comment is way worse than the femfresh imo. I would run for the hills op, he’s at best creepy, and defo setting it up so you can’t complain when he behaves like a c*nt..

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