To think fatter people look better when old?

[Littlewoodenrocket]

Clearly they’re not healthier (well, I guess it depends on lifestyle).
I always think people, particularly women, who are bigger, tend to look more youthful when older.

Slimmer or skinnier women (and men) tend to get scraggy necks and skin.
And their faces look older.

I guess an example is Dawn French, when she lost all that weight, she obviously looked fitter, but much older and more haggard looking.

Hoping this doesn’t offend anyone!

@Vallmo47

I am afraid not. Not on mumsnet. Larger ladies evoke a lot of anger on this site. In a warped way it’s probably individuals feeling a bit pissed off they have to go hungry, or potentially restrict food in order to stay slim when fatter ladies are swanning about basically not caring. Makes some women really really angry 😂.

@Dalaidramailama No kidding. There’s so much hate on the Internet, I’m absolutely amazed I get on with anyone in real life. Judging by how vocal people are on here, everyone I speak to is a two faced asshole. Still, I’d rather know two faced people who pretend I’m fine as I am than ask the opinion of people on social media. It’s so so scary to be raising a daughter in this day and age. Non stop judgment, 24/7 and no way of getting away from it. Glorious.

Fatter ladies aren’t swanning around not caring though. I have not been fat, but I have been overweight and I always feel better slim and toned. I don’t buy that anyone is really happy fat. No way.

@Vallmo47

On the plus side whilst I’m certainly not here to glorify obesity there are many, many women who don’t succumb to diet culture anymore or the pressure to be thin. There is a lot of women who have simply moved on from all that.

Years ago at work me and my female colleagues used to chat about weight/diets and food all of the time and I never hear the younger women at work now engage in this sort of chat. Which is a good thing, as it really is very boring.

@Dalaidramailama I agree. More focus needs to be on health over a number or a dress size. Of course I never used to think like that when younger. It took many warnings from GPs and lifelong medication for me to finally realise it’s not about what my dress size is. I truly don’t mind (that much) what my body looks like, as long as I’m happy and healthy.
I just think threads like these are quite dangerous - it shits on people of all sizes. None of it is encouraging, it just makes people look down on others. We certainly don’t need more judgment in the world.

In a warped way it’s probably individuals feeling a bit pissed off they have to go hungry, or potentially restrict food in order to stay slim

I'm quite slim and have never felt hungry because of the need to restrict food.
I stop eating when I'm full.

I wonder if the perception could be the other way, ie fatter people don't have the same feeling of fullness so eat more.
A good friend who was very obese eventually had a gastric sleeve. She's lost a lot of weight and said that this is the first time she's felt she's had enough and knows when to stop.

I’m thin. I didn’t do anything to achieve it, I just am, same as my dad.

And my wrinkles? I earned every one. I’m not trying to deny that I don’t have any. I’m in my sixties so of course I have wrinkles - it would be odd if I didn’t.

My joints don’t ache, I don’t have heart or other health issues and I intend to keep it that way.

And btw - it’s lose weight, not “loose” weight. Sorry, but that drives me crazy.

Being overweight is ageing because it is ageing.
It puts more pressure on your joints so you are slower. It puts more pressure on your organs so they have to work harder.
I'm 50, and a healthy weight, not skinny and eat well but am moderately active. People who I know who are overweight look older, not just facially but how they carry themselves.
We need to start having some tough conversations about weight because being overweight is shortening people's life expectancy.

@Vallmo47

I think the younger women at work would absolutely agree with you. I’ve never once heard them engage in diet chat or specifically how many pounds they want to lose etc etc.

They will swap recipes and chat about the actual nutrition of certain meals, or what workouts they’ve been doing, but it all seems to be pretty much health focussed and definitely not a general topic of conversation.

I remember about 15 years ago me and my colleagues would have a weekly weigh in and then we would all chip in for a little gift for the biggest loser. It was like a sport 😂 . Anyway thankfully times have moved on a bit now because i just think that’s a bit sad now.

@Arnaquer

I absolutely do agree with what you are saying regarding the life span but for some people it might be worth the trade off. Losing 10 years isn’t a big deal for some people. It could mean dying at 80 and not 90.

Having worked as a carer I’ve seen many a slim lady live on and on and on. Too long infact. The faculties and the mind went long before the body and they have ended up suffering just as much in the end.

Now that’s not a reason to just think oh to hell with it pass us the burgers but for some people being in the overweight BMI as opposed to the obese isn’t a big deal for them.

Fillers mimic cheekbones - exactly. That's the point of them.

I don’t think that people are necessarily going hungry if they’re a healthy weight. I can eat 2000 + calories and with exercise, be a healthy weight. I don’t think people should judge others on their size but to try to make overweight people feel better by saying this is just silly. Health should be a priority, eating good nutritious food in the right portion sizes and exercising reduces the risk of illnesses. My family have a history of heart disease, early strokes, heart attacks and cancer at a young age too. My grandparents and some uncles died in their 50s. I’m trying to avoid that.

That's an interesting perspective. Yes quality over quantity I guess

@LookingOverHereAllNight

Good for you. I think 2000 cals a day is very sensible alongside exercise. However I’ve read many threads on mumsnet stating that 2000 calories a day is a huge amount of food and even with exercise totally unnecessary (in other words over eating). I do happen to agree with you by the way but just going from the general mumsnet concensus regarding daily calories.

This is just awful, so, so judgemental.
One thing I don't see being considered is that some older people gain weight because they are losing their mobility - not that they're losing mobility because they're large.

My grandmother was always tiny and very fit and strong- but 3 bouts of cancer, osteoporosis and rheumatoid arthritis damaged her mobility over the course of 30 years and by the time she died she was large. She didn't become large because she'd neglected her health.

I really hope that by the time I'm old, people are being judged based on what good and kindness they contributed to the world, not on how they looked.

Everyone looks better at a healthy weight, that is different for everyone. Skinny (as in unnaturally achieved or maintained) and severely obese people look older,

OP "Hoping this doesn’t offend anyone!"

The thread was designed to be offensive .

But for what it's worth I understand that post menopause it is healthier to be slightly overweight than to be underweight - as long as your extra weight is not carried around your abdomen .

That’s so true. It’s like “How dare you be fat and happy about it?”

Surely everyone is different?! Some larger people look younger, some look older, some smaller people look younger, some older.

Stop over thinking what other people look like. Concentrate on yourself and stop judging others.

It’s true sometimes but fat can be very ageing. I’ve seen lots of fat 30+ years old who look more like 50

No, being fat is v v aging. One of the most aging things. That being said while on holidays in France I thought to myself while fat older women don't look good, neither do thin ones. There is a really fine line and sweet spot. I'm v slim and toned but I would edge towards the v thin look and I can see once you hit post menopause it isn't a great look

Yes, I’ve seen some posters on the ‘what you eat threads’ who must only be consuming 1000 calories’ maybe less, skipping meals, ones who apparently ‘forget to eat’. They clearly have eating disorders/issues with food.

I’m vegan so I’m careful that I’m getting everything I need. I don’t think you could be vegan, eat 1000 calories a day and be anywhere near healthy. 2000 calories is 3 meals and 2/3 snacks for me. I like food and enjoy exercising but even if I didn’t, I’d still do it because I don’t want to die young. We just need to get away from it being about looks, it’s about health.

I think suntans form the actual sun not a spray tan are ageing as it makes skin look like old leather whether you're small or large.
If you're big and have difficulty getting along that can be ageing in itself.

Really? I think a bit of a glow from being outside and doing something healthy - Paddleboarding, kayaking, swimming. Hiking - gives a youthful glow. But I'm not going to spend my 40s sitting on the sofa eating pizza.

Exactly. Also boring,