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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the police won't do anything

59 replies

namechange10111 · 17/08/2022 11:25

My ex when I was 15 years old secretly videoed us having sex. Now, at the age of 22 he paid a porn page on twitter to post the video and got it sent to my partner. The video got 4k views and everyone our age in the area is probably sharing it around and talking about it. I've reported this to the police but I'm scared they won't do anything to charge him with anything because before they arrest him they need evidence that he's the one that's released the video.

This is extremely detrimental to my career and words cannot even explain my emotions right now. I feel to try to get in contact with him to ask him why he did it but he'll probably try to hide any evidence so I'm not going to before I hear back from the police.

Does anyone have any idea on what I can do to get justice?

OP posts:
AdobeWanKenobi · 18/08/2022 11:06

@SolasAnla
Its the same as the guy who found an old gun in his new house and went down the police station to hand it in and was charged with posession of a gun or for the having while handing over to the police

I struggle to believe this was anything other than an exuberant officer in that case, do you have a link to it?

My late FIL had a very ornate, fully working rifle we found in the loft after his death. It was taken to our local Police station by my DH and I and handed to an officer who dealt with firearms. He was telling us they get a lot of old weapons handed in and asked if we were sure we wanted to surrender it as it was a beautifully ornate piece. We did. None of us were charged. I'm fairly sure the Police are happier for members of the public to hand in firearms than to keep them and charging them would be pretty counterproductive.

sevenoh · 18/08/2022 11:07

Isn't it basically CP? Shouldn't ex and twitter page face serious consequences?

Lindy2 · 18/08/2022 11:27

If he was over 15 at the time he made the video he's posted evidence of himself having sex with a child. That's a very serious crime on top of the other serious crimes already stated here of distributing child pornography. He could be charged with rape.

Don't let this go OP. Keep pushing for the Police to take proper action on this.

MuthaHubbard · 18/08/2022 11:30

At the very least this is revenge porn. Technically it is classed as distributing indecent images of a child.
Very much hope you get all the power of the police behind you and is removed from online asap

NorthernLights5 · 18/08/2022 11:35

I just want to say I wish you the best of luck. And I hope you get justice.

My ex raped me hundreds of times and best me including with a wooden slat from a bed. The police told me there would be no point pressing charges as it was my word against his and I'd be called a liar in court. I was a total coward and took their advice. I feel guilty every single day. People like yourself give me hope that I can be better. Best of luck.

MuthaHubbard · 18/08/2022 11:40

@NorthernLights5 So sorry this happened to you 💐

NorthernLights5 · 18/08/2022 11:54

@MuthaHubbard thank you that's very kind. I won't say I've healed as I never will truly. But I will say I've been very blessed. I'm a carer now and I have the privilege of looking after people who are unable to care for themselves. I also have children (one conceived via the ex) who are the absolute light of my life.

SolasAnla · 18/08/2022 12:08

AdobeWanKenobi · 18/08/2022 11:06

@SolasAnla
Its the same as the guy who found an old gun in his new house and went down the police station to hand it in and was charged with posession of a gun or for the having while handing over to the police

I struggle to believe this was anything other than an exuberant officer in that case, do you have a link to it?

My late FIL had a very ornate, fully working rifle we found in the loft after his death. It was taken to our local Police station by my DH and I and handed to an officer who dealt with firearms. He was telling us they get a lot of old weapons handed in and asked if we were sure we wanted to surrender it as it was a beautifully ornate piece. We did. None of us were charged. I'm fairly sure the Police are happier for members of the public to hand in firearms than to keep them and charging them would be pretty counterproductive.

Sorry OP for the off topic.

I don't have the case as it was a few years ago but I am pretty sure that the guy was convicted on the testomony of the receiving officer or by a admission to the facts. But yes it was a bit stupid. I dont know why, if it had anything to do with tracking its disposal triggered a process and that the police were not allowed any leeway. Or it could be the cop in charge was a ass. It was pointed out that the guy should have just dumped the gun in his garden and called the police about his "find".
There is a mechanism for surrenders eg.
www.gmp.police.uk/news/greater-manchester/news/news/2022/may/public-urged-to-hand-in-firearms-during-two-week-surrender/
I am presuming that this amnesty is on foot of legislation as the guns which can be, are tested and the police can use them as evidence (as in ex-owner becomes a witness / suspect; as in, if someone drop in a sawed off shotgun its pretty obvious why was sawed off).
The legislation may have been amended and extend to limit charging anyone handing over a gun for destruction or allows it as a reasonable defence.

But if the law is posession, its a tick box Y/N decision tree type process

  1. is it a firearm (this includes guns, crossbows, bb guns etc); if yes see Q 2, if no ignore
  2. if it is a firearm can it be legally held by an individual (in posession of a firearm licence etc); if yes see Q3, if no prepare a posession charge 3a) if Q2 is yes, was it legally held; if yes ignore, if no prepare a posession charge 3b) if Q2 is no, posession is a crime prepare a posession charge.

The replace the word firearm with "images of sex act" and the same method applies.

For the OPs partner they would have to go through the process, if for example the images were automatically downloaded and stored in the memory on a phone and someone found them at a later date.

Audioslaw · 18/08/2022 14:37

Wow Op I hope you are ok.

Few offences here. Revenge porn. Creation of indecent imagery of a child. Distribution of indecent imagery of a child.

Potentially rape too, if he was older.

I'm so sorry. He could go to prison for this potentially

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