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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think the police won't do anything

59 replies

namechange10111 · 17/08/2022 11:25

My ex when I was 15 years old secretly videoed us having sex. Now, at the age of 22 he paid a porn page on twitter to post the video and got it sent to my partner. The video got 4k views and everyone our age in the area is probably sharing it around and talking about it. I've reported this to the police but I'm scared they won't do anything to charge him with anything because before they arrest him they need evidence that he's the one that's released the video.

This is extremely detrimental to my career and words cannot even explain my emotions right now. I feel to try to get in contact with him to ask him why he did it but he'll probably try to hide any evidence so I'm not going to before I hear back from the police.

Does anyone have any idea on what I can do to get justice?

OP posts:
Original poster
namechange10111 · 17/08/2022 13:09

Wow thanks for all the replies everyone! I'm feeling much much better about the situation, thank you all for your kind words and advice

OP posts:
purplechaos · 17/08/2022 13:09

So sorry, OP. I would expect the police to take it seriously. I'd also be inclined to take some screenshots in the meantime in case it gets taken down before the police can properly look.

Original poster
namechange10111 · 17/08/2022 13:10

If the twitter post gets taken down, how will the police have proof he did it? I didn't even give them the URL yet as they haven't asked for further details other than names and addresses

OP posts:
Sandra1984 · 17/08/2022 13:13

Contact the paid site, tell them this video was made in a non consensual way and the case is in police hands. Ask them to remove it ASAP or a lawsuit or police order will ensure.

what the video disappear magically from the site. This is called “revenge porn” and it’s treated as a serious crime nowadays.

Luckypoppy · 17/08/2022 13:13

They can request deleted information. Take screen shots and if you can screen recordings to help you.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

Sandra1984 · 17/08/2022 13:13

I meant “watch the video disappear “ from the site.

knittingaddict · 17/08/2022 13:18

I understand that you may not want to do this, but I would chase the police and see what they are doing about it. Obviously only do this if you do want it taken seriously.

I wish we had done this when the police were investigating my ex son in law. We wrongly assumed that they would have gone in and taken a phone and hard drive immediately. It took them months and the evidence in his hands was long gone and the CPS wouldn't prosecute. Looking back that may have been a blessing, but it did open my eyes to how the police operate. It's not like a TV programme, that's for sure.

Hope you don't mind me posting that as I don't want to cause additional stress.

knittingaddict · 17/08/2022 13:20

Can you take a screen shot of some sort? I do use Twitter, but not sure how that would work. Evidence is key.

Sapphirensteel · 17/08/2022 13:31

Im so sorry this has happened to you, how disgusting of him.
Can you make a copy of the Twitter film before it’s taken down? ( for the police)
Press the police to take action. You were under age so filming you and distributing that film is distributing child pornography.

I know it’s hard mentally on you but please press the police, go to your MP and your Crime Commissioner if necessary. I hope he is charged and jailed.

SolasAnla · 17/08/2022 13:39

Get your partner in contact with a solicitor asap, he needs to make a report too. He has been sent child abuse imagery. For him to have images on his phone / electronic devices may also by default criminal offence. He should not try remove the evidence but should report and be prepared to hand over any electronics.

Neither he nor you should contact the ex.

As PP said if anyone comments, just point out that watching children engaged in sex acts is a crime.
Dont use the word porn as you were a child, you never consented to the act being filmed and you were to young to legally consent to the act itself

Original poster
namechange10111 · 17/08/2022 13:41

I've taken screenshots and a screen recording for evidence and I'll definitely get in contact with my local MP, thanks for all your help again mners Flowers

OP posts:
SolasAnla · 17/08/2022 13:43

purplechaos · 17/08/2022 13:09

So sorry, OP. I would expect the police to take it seriously. I'd also be inclined to take some screenshots in the meantime in case it gets taken down before the police can properly look.

Do not create additional images that itself is a criminal offence

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1978/37/section/1

Sandra1984 · 17/08/2022 13:45

This man has some serious psychological issues for doing this 7 years later. How vile can people be. Utterly unbelievable.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 17/08/2022 17:09

@SolasAnla how can it be an offence if it's a video of yourself? Surely as the victim you cannot be the perpetrator?

Original poster
namechange10111 · 17/08/2022 20:08

TheWayoftheLeaf · 17/08/2022 17:09

@SolasAnla how can it be an offence if it's a video of yourself? Surely as the victim you cannot be the perpetrator?

I was quite confused about that as well

OP posts:
Elleherd · 17/08/2022 20:59

Whem you report to CEOPs that this is an indecent video (images) of a minor, (something you are able to directly testify to) they will make a 'digital fingerprint' of the video. That 'fingerprint' is amongst other things, then shared to hosting sites (note this is not pictures or content) to prevent the content being re uploaded to other sites under different titles.

It's hugely inadvisable to make a copy (as well as illegal) because apart from the fact you're then in possesion of illegal images (please trust me that even though they are of you, they absolutely are illegal and yes including while still underage the person who the video is of is a perpetrator in terms of making, possession, copying, distributing etc.) it also could muddy the waters that someone other than him may have initially released the video.
(I'm afraid the sort of scumbags who do this sort of thing are generally experienced in DARVO.)

Currently there isn't likely to be a jury out there that's going to buy into any form of defence that suggests you had a copy of the video and have decided to set him up seven years later.
Do nothing that could change that.

If you haven't already, talk to CEOP, and ask them to explain further to you how they collect and store evidence.

Elleherd · 17/08/2022 21:03

PS if you have any difficulty accepting what I'm saying, please go and ask on the legal boards.

ShittyCar · 17/08/2022 21:09

I do think the police will take it seriously, you were underage.

SolasAnla · 18/08/2022 10:12

Just to add to what @Elleherd posted there are 2 under 18's in the video.

The law was written widely to prevent wiggle room.
Its the same as the guy who found an old gun in his new house and went down the police station to hand it in and was charged with posession of a gun or for the having while handing over to the police.

The same is true for your partner even if images were sent to him if he has it, legally he can be charged, so he needs to make an independent report as the sending was a "different" / "new" crime.

andymary · 18/08/2022 10:24

Twitter should be taking it down within a few hours, in what way did you report it to them? Did you use this form?
help.twitter.com/en/forms/safety-and-sensitive-content/private-information

Just make sure that you can screenshot as much as you can, like you have done, but also any message exchange between you and him if you spoke about any of it via text.

Dotjones · 18/08/2022 10:34

The police will be able to act if he has recorded a child having sex (you) and/or has released it as revenge porn.

What they will have to be able to prove though to prosecute is at least one of the following:
a) it was him that recorded it (not some mate who'd left a spy cam in his room)
b) it was taken when you were underage
c) it was him that released it

I find it odd he paid someone to release it - if you have some kind of evidence of this it will help, because there may be a record of the transaction. Most revenge porn is just uploaded to free sites, I don't see why someone would actively decide to pay for the privilege.

Get in touch with the Revenge Porn Helpline as they may be able to advise you what to do. With "normal" revenge porn it would be a good idea to take a copy of the video so that they can hash it and make it easier to take down when it gets reuploaded to other sites in the future. Given that you were underage though I don't think you should do this without taking advice first, because you'd technically be creating child pornography, the fact you were the child wouldn't change that.

Dotjones · 18/08/2022 10:40

namechange10111 · 17/08/2022 20:08

I was quite confused about that as well

Show quote history

I'm just adding this post to stress that @SolasAnla is correct (to my understanding). The offence here would be making indecent images of a child (by downloading a copy of the material or taking a screenshot). It doesn't matter that you are the victim of the revenge porn crime, you'd be committing a separate crime by making (a copy of) the image.

It's illegal for anyone to make an indecent image of a child, it doesn't matter if they are a child themselves (though it may affect the sentence they get when convicted). A 15 year old recording themselves performing a solo sex act is still guilty of making child porn, as much as an 18 year old filming a 15 year old would.

Fraaahnces · 18/08/2022 10:55

Also, if you were 14, you were legally under age. How old was he? Could he be prosecuted?

Liivee · 18/08/2022 10:57

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

LimboLass · 18/08/2022 10:59

Yes report to the police. They will be able to work out which computer uploaded it and he must be punished.

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