Update on bf taking me to exes proposal spot

[Away77]

I made a post yesterday about my boyfriend unknowingly taking me to his exes proposal spot almost daily. We have since spoken about it and he reassured me that he wasn’t even thinking about it and he was just enjoying being there with me. That I’m safe in the relationship and I have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Our day today was better, a lot more relaxed. Until this evening when during sex he got upset with me because I didn’t remember something intimate we’d done together. Apparently it meant a lot to him and me not remembering really hurt him. He said my words carry so much weight with him so everything I say is important. I just can’t believe how toxic that is. I have to police my words and now also remember everything that ever comes out of my mouth. The conversation was building to an argument so I mentally checked out and stopped engaging. He calmed down after I told him this wasn’t a good time to talk and is acting all normal now. Unbelievable.

I'm sorry you don't feel supported but you posted in AIBU? The forum is basically asking a question - am I being unreasonable?

Relationships is better for advice and support

But it is difficult when a poster posts repeatedly about something - such as a toxic relationship - gets lots of advice - ignores it - then posts again about the same relationship - gets the same advice - ignores it - on repeat - it does make people testy!

Well done for leaving

You were behaving against your own best interests, posted more than one thread about it and were urged - in some cases harshly - to stop behaving foolishly.

If your response to that is to complain about posters not being ‘positive and non-judgmental’ - as opposed to examining your own behaviour and figuring out why it took you so long to react appropriately to the red flags - then I’d suggest your focus is misdirected.

Please break up
For both your sakes

The guy didnt take you to his engagement spot UNINTENTIONALLY op. Haha.

The sex thing js just weird but did you do it unintentionally as revenge perhaps? ;)

@ghostyslovesheets @Cherchezlaspice
i didn’t ignore the advice. I might have taken a bit longer than some of the saints here but 1 week is not a long time in the context of things. Some people stay for years, some never leave.

@Cherchezlaspice "You were behaving against your own best interests, posted more than one thread about it and were urged - in some cases harshly - to stop behaving foolishly.

If your response to that is to complain about posters not being ‘positive and non-judgmental’ - as opposed to examining your own behaviour and figuring out why it took you so long to react appropriately to the red flags - then I’d suggest your focus is misdirected."

This is the sanest and truest thing I've ever read on this forum.

@Marvellousmadness
We have broken up.
No I didn’t do it intentionally. It was genuinely a forgettable moment

Glad that you have broken up Op.

By any chance did he cheat on his ex?

@diddl
I’m not sure and I’m not sure if he would tell me if he did anyway. His story is that they drifted apart and became platonic friends pretty much.

Well it's not really that important anyway now that you've split up.

Just that often those who jump in with accusations of cheating are the cheaters.