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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH eating food meant for visitors, AIBU?

44 replies

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 15/08/2022 16:36

DH's DD and family are over from Germany and visiting us this week. I have planned meals and bought extra food for the next few days. I just noticed that DD has opened packets of cold meat I had intended to be eaten this week. One was ham, which I normally buy, but there was already some in the fridge which needed eating. The other was cold chicken, which I don't normally buy. He doesn't think he has done anything wrong. He says he didn't see the old ham, and he thought I had bought the chicken for myself ( I don't eat ham). I would have thought it was obvious that I had bought extra food, some of which I don't usually buy, for his DSD and family, which shouldn't be opened yet. AIBU?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 15/08/2022 16:38

Yabu really; why didn’t you let him know what was for his family and what wasn’t? Why have you had to do all the planning anyway?

Sirzy · 15/08/2022 16:39

So you didn’t communicate to him that some food was off limits but expected him to know?

SleeplessInEngland · 15/08/2022 16:39

LTB

IsDaveThere · 15/08/2022 16:39

Unless you specifically asked him not to eat certain stuff, then YABU. How was he to know?

itsgettingweird · 15/08/2022 16:40

Well unless you specifically out there food separate and told him not to eat it then I guess it's not his fault for not having a sixth sense is it?

PrimroseWharf · 15/08/2022 16:40

Irritating…but what’s done is done and it’s not worth falling out over. Just send him to the shops for more supplies. It’s his problem to fix now not yours.

DDivaStar · 15/08/2022 16:40

You could have let him know. Altho I sympathise with him opening new,my h does this and doesn't check for closest dates and its very frustrating.

Greensleeves · 15/08/2022 16:40

I tend to keep stuff in a separate bag, if it's not to be touched for some reason, and let everyone know. We have food for two separate barbecues in our fridge at the moment, so they're in big bags and DS2 knows he isn't allowed to snaffle anything out of them!

hangrylady · 15/08/2022 16:41

Unless you told him not to eat in YABU

Original poster
Boysgrownbutstillathome · 15/08/2022 16:41

Shoxfordian · 15/08/2022 16:38

Yabu really; why didn’t you let him know what was for his family and what wasn’t? Why have you had to do all the planning anyway?

I thought it would be obvious.
I have always had to do all the planning for DSD's visits since we have been together.

OP posts:
Florin · 15/08/2022 16:41

Unless you specifically asked him not to touch certain items you are being over the top, how was he to know?

toastofthetown · 15/08/2022 16:42

Unless you’ve specifically told him that some food is reserved for guests, or it’s obvious it should be (such as if you’d made a cake or meal specifically for them) then I don’t think he’s don’t anything wrong. The food he’s opened is easily replaceable and it sounds like deli meats are usually a communal item. It is annoying if someone uses something communal which you’d earmarked for later, but that kind of thing happens if you share a house and food with someone. DH finished a pot of yogurt recently which I’d needed to cook with. Not a problem and he went out to replace it.

Shoxfordian · 15/08/2022 16:43

I don’t think it seems fair that you have to do all the planning for his family

Do you have to make all the beds/ do all the tidying and everything else too?

WeAreBob · 15/08/2022 16:43

If the rule in your house is normally "eat what snacky food you like" then he didnt do anything wrong and you should let it go.

If the rule is normally "ask first" then he was wrong.

Hungryharriet · 15/08/2022 16:43

You really should communicate with each other. If there's food that's being saved for his family's visit, you need to tell him.
It's a small matter though, there's time to get replacements.

NoSquirrels · 15/08/2022 16:45

Ham and sliced chicken? It’s not like he’s eaten the prime steak or a fancy dessert, is it?

Send him to the shops.

Mrsjayy · 15/08/2022 16:45

If there is food in the fridge and nobody has said otherwise then I'd probably eat it. You didn't say I've been food shopping for family coming don't eat it. Just send him out for more.

notacooldad · 15/08/2022 16:45

I thought it would be obvious
I have always had to do all the planning for DSD's visits since we have been together
I wouldnt ha e thought it was obvious. If I'd seen some chicken in the fridge I would have ate it if I fancied it, unless told otherwise.🤷‍♀️
It's no drama, just get some more.

BellaLab · 15/08/2022 16:45

The other was cold chicken, which I don't normally buy. He doesn't think he has done anything wrong. He says he didn't see the old ham, and he thought I had bought the chicken for myself ( I don't eat ham).

So he thought you’d bought the chicken for yourself but he ate it anyway?

Original poster
Boysgrownbutstillathome · 15/08/2022 16:46

I remember now that did tell him yesterday that I had bought extra food for DSD's visit when he commented on how full the fridge was.

OP posts:
xogossipgirlxo · 15/08/2022 16:46

I would be annoyed too, but did you tell him not to eat it?

Btw. you reminded me of a story I saw online, that wife baked a birthday cake for friend ad work and husband cut a piece, because he was hungry and couldn't find anything else to eat. This story stick to me until today and I'm still shocked over how stupid this man was and wondering if he's still alive 😂

Mrsjayy · 15/08/2022 16:48

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 15/08/2022 16:46

I remember now that did tell him yesterday that I had bought extra food for DSD's visit when he commented on how full the fridge was.

You didn't say its not for now though. If there is no food left then he can get some more.

toastofthetown · 15/08/2022 16:49

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 15/08/2022 16:46

I remember now that did tell him yesterday that I had bought extra food for DSD's visit when he commented on how full the fridge was.

But knowing that extra food has been bought doesn’t mean he knows which food is reserved and which is for general eating.

Original poster
Boysgrownbutstillathome · 15/08/2022 16:49

BellaLab · 15/08/2022 16:45

The other was cold chicken, which I don't normally buy. He doesn't think he has done anything wrong. He says he didn't see the old ham, and he thought I had bought the chicken for myself ( I don't eat ham).

So he thought you’d bought the chicken for yourself but he ate it anyway?

I know, I didn't think to query this before he left the room!

OP posts:
Original poster
Boysgrownbutstillathome · 15/08/2022 16:52

Mrsjayy · 15/08/2022 16:48

You didn't say its not for now though. If there is no food left then he can get some more.

Show quote history

It's easy to say just get some more but we are on a very tight budget and couldn't really afford the extra food in the first place

OP posts: