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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Broke up with my stingy DP

65 replies

bbbbam · 15/08/2022 16:28

I've posted about him before. He's always been tight with cash despite living with his parents, having a LOT in savings and very low outgoings. Didn't want to contribute to mine although stayed majority of the week and I'd always be subsidising him in small ways. He's always take ages to send me money owed to me and I'd have to chase for it. I've raised it numerous time and while things have gotten a bit better, it's become such a tik for tak relationship and on top of that he needs reminding about personal grooming, expects sex/blow job daily when he stays, and let's his child's mother (the second one) run rings around him - I could go on..

Anyway, there were three straws that broke the camels back yesterday - the final being, we went to Nando's, I paid with my card and he said he would send me the money for his meal, I worked out his meal cost and told him. Realised when we left (hurriedly as I started crying during meal due to other reasons - straw 1&2), we didn't pay for the drink (we shared a drink because he's stingy), he asked if he should pay me a pound less because it was free. So there you go, I'm not even worth a cheap Nando's meal....

No AIBU really - maybe if I'm unreasonable to expect my DP to pay for my Nando's when he is not poor and can afford it but just doesn't want to...?

Anyway, after a year of moaning and trying to get him to change, I've ditched him!

OP posts:
Creepymanonagoatfarm · 15/08/2022 16:30

Enjoy spending the extra cash you will now have op! Tight arsed people aren't attractive imo.

You deserve so much more.

Well done!

KangarooKenny · 15/08/2022 16:30

Well done !

FOJN · 15/08/2022 16:30

Good for you. I couldn't tolerate someone so tightfisted.

pictish · 15/08/2022 16:30

Good. He’s a lazy, selfish, grabby sort who expects sexual gratification as a reward.
Fuck him.

WeAreBob · 15/08/2022 16:31

How did you share a drink? I'm guessing you orderwe the unlimited soda drink so you get the glass and just refill it, but only got one.

Honestly, you're as bad as him then. That's really cheeky in a restaurant. You dont order one glass when 2 of you are having a drink.

ZeroFucksGivenToday · 15/08/2022 16:31

Brilliant news. Enjoy not having to share drinks (sex, bed or headspace) with such a miserly fucker.

Bonjovispjs · 15/08/2022 16:33

Good for you, although I can't imagine why you tolerated this free loader for a year?😮

Pollydon · 15/08/2022 16:33

Congratulations on ditching the stingy loser.

Ravenclawdropout · 15/08/2022 16:34

I just cannot imagine being married to such a selfish, self-absorbed person. Being responsible with money is one thing, and its important, but what you are describing is a whole new level. Very immature and miserly. You would have no joy in your life and any child would have to live with a father who resented every expense. You are well rid.

tkwal · 15/08/2022 16:35

YANBU × millions. I'm surprised he didn't squeak when he walked. How did he manage to attract 2 women before you enough to procreate ?

Shoxfordian · 15/08/2022 16:37

Don’t let it take you a year next time

catlovingdoctor · 15/08/2022 16:37

Good for you!! Don't look back on the absolute fool!

Naughtyperson972 · 15/08/2022 16:39

Good for you OP, be proud of yourself.
He sounds like a right idiot.
All his money can now keep him warm at night.

bbbbam · 15/08/2022 16:39

@WeAreBob oh shush. The drink machine was broken, we shared a can of Fanta - that wasn't able to be ordered from the website!

OP posts:
dottiedodah · 15/08/2022 16:41

Good for you! Sounds a tight fisted wanker TBH! Just think next meal out how nice it will be .No crying or upset and a whole drink to yourself! DM always used to say tight with money tight with love and she was right!

bbbbam · 15/08/2022 16:45

Thank you all! Honestly, I'm a bit upset because he is lovely in other ways but just a manchild and 90% of our issues are due to finances in some way which is ridiculous. I waited a year because I thought he'd change and agin, we have lots in common but he's just complacent and I'm still in my prime!! Can't waste these years!

OP posts:
BruceAndNosh · 15/08/2022 16:45

I'm more put off by somone who needs to be reminded about personal grooming (washing?) yet expects a daily blow job

Shoxfordian · 15/08/2022 16:46

Men rarely change op
Not a thing
Men are as they are- if you like it good, if not walk

bbbbam · 15/08/2022 16:47

@dottiedodah the thing is, he was very loving, attentive, pleasured me sexually, supportive - that's why it's been so hard to end it, but ultimately, I can't get back the finances thing. It's making me feel worthless!

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 15/08/2022 16:48

I hereby award you a silver medal in the Cocklodger Removal Event, good show.

It would have been a gold medal if you had moved a bit faster.

bbbbam · 15/08/2022 16:49

@BruceAndNosh not washing, the issues were his hair - he needs it done every 3 weeks or it's a state and I'd have to remind him to sort this, cutting nails - they'd be very long and discoloured, and cleaning his ears.

OP posts:
Creepymanonagoatfarm · 15/08/2022 16:49

A dcat and a sex toy would full those gaps.
Dcat, loving and attentive.
Sex toy for bed..

PoppyLupin · 15/08/2022 16:49

Was he stingy with child maintenance too?

bbbbam · 15/08/2022 16:50

@Shoxfordian my first relationship was four years too long so I've been working on it 😅

OP posts:
LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 15/08/2022 16:50

Well done OP!!

Meanness is such an unattractive quality. No one deserves a man who is trying to palm back £1 from a Nando’s