Wedding - ‘have you had the best day?’ chat on repeat

[Goodnewsday]

I got married a few weeks ago and did have a ‘nice day’ but what started to grate on me slightly was the fact I was asked literally every 5 minutes if I was enjoying myself, if I’d had a nice day, if I’d had an amazing day, if I was having the best day 🙄 I ended up just spending the full night answering the same question on repeat. At one point, after I’d answered the question for at least the 100th time, I was saying to someone how everyone kept asking me it and yes it was a nice day but I was just saying the same answer again and again. Literally while saying this someone came over.. ‘have you had a nice day?’ 😑 So trivial but it was starting to ruin my night when I couldn’t just have a conversation with anyone without this forced expectation that I was to be having THE BEST time. When I go to anyone’s wedding in future I’m going to go out of my way to talk to them about anything other than that now 🙈

How dare guests make the effort to attend your wedding and ask if your having a nice day how rude of them 🤨

Well you're just a ray of sunshine, aren't you?

YABU (and unrealistic!).

People are just being nice, your wedding day should be a 'nice day' (and it's a common belief that it is one of the 'best days of your life').

So you're going to get a lot of questions about that, people saying your dress is nice, people saying 'oh it's a lovely venue/ceremony/party'... it's just what happens.

They're not likely to start asking your opinion on the cost of living crisis or whether you've got any good chili sauce recommendations, are you, because the focus of the day is the wedding itself.

I'm not sure what else you'd expect. It'd be weirder for them not to acknowledge what kind of event it was and just start chatting about something else.

Well quite @housemaus, why on earth would you speak to someone about their wedding at the wedding!
There's global warming, the Dow Jones, avian flu! All fantastic wedding topics! 😁

Whilst you may have had the conversation 100 times, each of the people asking have only had it once. They’re sharing your celebration and want to talk to you about it, hear that you’re having a wonderful time, and let you know they’re happy to be there. It’s sort of the score with hosting a wedding: you wanted hundreds of people go come and make you the centre of attention, you can’t really complain when they do just that.

I think this is the same for every bride at her wedding. It was mine. But what else would you expect? Would you rather they told you the catering was a bit shit or that your dress gave you back fat?? People are just making polite conversation

How much does it hurt to answer "lovely, thank you!" to people that have made the effort to join your celebration and care about your day?

Did you have the best day?

You get this at all of life's milestones. Leading up to the wedding all I had was people asking me about the wedding planning when it was the last thing I wanted to talk about as I was struggling with anxiety because of it.

Then when I was pregnant the same questions at work "boy or girl?" Then the "ohhhh your life will never be the same again..." chat. Some men even thought I'd want to hear their traumatic birth stories. Yeah, real comforting! Then leading up to the birth I got the "ohhh not long now..." comments.

You just have to take it on the chin and make the small chat a thousand times over unfortunately no matter how much you are getting your teeth.

Maybe when you next go to a wedding you could discuss the climate change catastrophe or the likelihood of a nuclear accident with the bride.

I'm sorry OP, it sounds like it was frustrating for you, clearly, and i can understand that.

I also think the idea here for alternative topics are ace. Next time i see a bride i shall be tempted to ask her view on the current crisis. Maybe it will finally be 👽!

I'm sorry OP, it sounds like it was frustrating for you, clearly, and i can understand that.

I also think the idea here for alternative topics are ace. Next time i see a bride i shall be tempted to ask her view on the current crisis. Maybe it will finally be 👽!

Eh, it's just one day, surely you can tolerate it.

😁

TBH OP I get it, I didn't notice people doing this at mine but I'm sure they did. Is it possible you were looking a bit stressed/anxious and they hoped you were ok? Really though what else do you say to the B&G at their wedding? I think it's either "are you having a great day?" or "I'm having a great day! thanks for inviting us".

The trouble is once you notice something like this it gets more and more annoying. I recently moved towns and the number of people messaging me asking "How's X place?" REPEATEDLY (as in, every time we exchange messages) is truly incredible. Yes I'm lucky to have friends who message me, I know, but wtf are you supposed to say after the first "great, thanks!", I keep wanting to send them a wikipedia link about the town which I realise is NOT charitable.

Guess what's coming next OP...

"Soooo, how's married life treating you"
😂😂😂

Well what do you want them to say?
'Your photos took forever and we were bored senseless waiting. By the time we were served our dinner it was cold. The best man's speech wasn't very funny and your DJs a bit crap.
Just having a word to be polite before we slope off in time for match of the day.' ?

I dunno if I’m weird but I’ve actually started to get anxious about talking to brides on their wedding day because I literally don’t know what to say to them on that one day that’s not ‘you look lovely! / are you having a great time?’ and this just confirms that they’ve heard it 100 times! 😆

@ChobKnees having a baby was exactly what I’d compare it to! It was like all that ‘not long now’ small talk but condensed into one night so just leaving one conversation for the next person to say it and I didn’t have enough time to chat to them before it was the next person and so on 🙈 I just started to think how am I supposed to actually enjoy myself if all I’m doing is telling people I’ve enjoyed myself every 2 seconds. I was just desperate to talk about anything else 😂

Yea exactly this.
People don’t want to take up all your time because they know you have lots of guests to get round and chat to.
But they have to say something (about you/the wedding). They can’t exactly start chatting about themselves on your wedding day, when they are literally there to give you their full attention.

It’s not a normal social interaction. People usually see you in small groups, not surrounded by every single person you know.

Weddings are boring
what did you say to couples as a guest?

@Weirdwonders totally! They do look lovely so you say it but it’s also the one time where it’s such a token comment that it’s not even a real compliment in a way because you know they’d say it even if you looked like a bag of shit 🙈 I don’t know what is a good thing to talk about but I just felt like I wasn’t getting to enjoy myself for all the people wanting to ask if I was enjoying myself (for the sake of saying something) and I was so bored of hearing my own answer 😂

I was at a wedding a few weeks ago and I did asking the bride/groom this, because the first time we met that day I did the whole you look wonderful, lovely venue etc. It didn't feel appropriate to talk about anything non-wedding related so I didn't know what else to say. I was fully aware that it's mindless small talk.

You’re going to love being asked if you’re enjoying married life by everyone you meet for next few years…

@galacticpixels I’ve done the same thing too at probably every wedding I’ve ever been to but I’d never known how much hard work it was to be the person on the other end 🙈 it’s like there’s so much expectation that you’ve had the best day of your life too and we really weren’t that into the whole big wedding or centre of attention thing so I wasn’t even going into it expecting it to be the best day ever. Yes it was a nice day but I struggled to constantly have to say how amazing it was when I thought I’d rather just go and get a drink and dance than have to keep having this chat 🙈

How sad - that's what you've taken from your wedding day ☹️