Wedding - ‘have you had the best day?’ chat on repeat

[Goodnewsday]

I got married a few weeks ago and did have a ‘nice day’ but what started to grate on me slightly was the fact I was asked literally every 5 minutes if I was enjoying myself, if I’d had a nice day, if I’d had an amazing day, if I was having the best day 🙄 I ended up just spending the full night answering the same question on repeat. At one point, after I’d answered the question for at least the 100th time, I was saying to someone how everyone kept asking me it and yes it was a nice day but I was just saying the same answer again and again. Literally while saying this someone came over.. ‘have you had a nice day?’ 😑 So trivial but it was starting to ruin my night when I couldn’t just have a conversation with anyone without this forced expectation that I was to be having THE BEST time. When I go to anyone’s wedding in future I’m going to go out of my way to talk to them about anything other than that now 🙈

"it was starting to ruin my night". God help you when you encounter a real problem.

Did you build the wedding up to a huge thing beforehand so that the actual event was a bit of a disappointment?

I am wracking my brains to think of a first question/statement that isn’t “you look beautiful”, “are you having a lovely day” or “this is a beautiful wedding, thank you for inviting us”.

The maître-d at my wedding came up to me with a wild look in her eyes and said that the food was going to be ruined if the photographer didn’t hurry up and a guest’s opening comment to me was”they’ve run out of Pimm’s” then stood there waiting for me to do something. No-one approached my husband or the best man, so could be worse!

Yeah, how dare those cunts give up their time to come to an event entirely orchestrated to celebrate you and your happiness, and then actually refer to that very happiness they have been asked to celebrate with you. What a bunch of shits, eh?

OP, get over yourself. If you don't want people to talk to you about your wedding day on your actual wedding day, don't invite guests to your wedding.

People at weddings generally don't want to hog the bride, so asking if you've had a good day is a nice way of interacting with you and being acknowledged without taking up much of your precious time.

Would you rather they were asking various in depth questions? Wouldn't that be even more exhausting? Or would you prefer they just didn't speak to you? In which case why would you invite them?

What a negative memory to take away from your own wedding!

If you don't want people to talk to you about your wedding day on your actual wedding day, don't invite guests to your wedding.

This is very true! It’s a bit like having a big birthday party and complaining that every single person said “Happy birthday!” as they came in. It’s just a social nicety. Nothing more, nothing less than that. Think about it in reverse - wouldn’t it be rather odd to see a bride on her wedding day and for your opening gambit to be “What did you think of the new Bond film?” or “Do you think it’ll be Truss or Sunak in Number 10?”.

Guess who will be divorced in 2 years time....

You sound nice.

I'm loving this analogy and all the suggestions on this thread. The hot sauce recipe one was my favourite.

OP sorry to put this back on you, but you could have made it more interesting by not just replying "yeah". For example:

• "Not really, do you have the number of a good divorce lawyer?"
• "I have chronic diarrhoea - there isn't any on my dress is there?"
• "Better than root canal, just"
• "Well I was til you motherfuckers came up to me"

Oh God OP you do sound a bit ridiculous! Seriously, this is one of the the most bizzare complaint I've heard a bride make about their own wedding.

When we were getting married, a long time ago now, one of our friends had booked a beautiful venue which was popular and hard to secure as it was always so busy. They were delighted that they'd managed to get it at the time they wanted.

A second couple who were peripherally connected to the group got engaged and swooped in ahead of the first couple and they somehow bagged a cancellation in the wedding venue a month or 6 weeks before the original couple.

We were all invited to the evening part of their wedding which was on a weeknight (hence being available). We travelled to it with the couple who had originally booked it, so we walked in together.

The bride saw us coming and dashed over to us and immediately started telling the other bride-to-be all the things that had gone wrong, as in 'oh they got our canapes wrong so you need to be on top of that with them, they didn't have the decorations in the right place' and on and on.

She was IN THE MIDDLE of her own wedding and was giving a running commentary to the other bride, who was getting more and more stressed out.

In the end I intervened and told the actual bride that she needed to chill out and enjoy her evening (none of her 'compaints' were big deals)

I always thought it was it oddest thing though....

What do you expect people to ask you about?

Imagine coming to your wedding and people start to talk to you about everything other than your wedding. Your probably going to think your days a bit shit for them, it would be odd

Yabu.

All those people giving up their free time or annual leave to attend your wedding probably at great expense probably didn't realise you would be so angry at them enquiring as to whether you were enjoying your day.

If it was so intolerable I'm not sure why you didn't use your own conversational skills a little?
Them: 'Are you having a good day?'
You: 'Yes, thank you. How are you? How was your trip to Everest/knee OP/tinder date?'

My uncle spent a large part of my wedding day talking about the electrification of trains in north wales. Want to trade?

Should've eloped. 😀

Worse is all the friends' weddings, particularly when you are bridesmaid, when you're constantly told 'it'll be you next!' My jaw ached from all the false rictus-smiling after those days. Of course it's only small-talk and no harm meant by it, but it does get pretty tedious. People rarely go around saying that to random male guests.

Then when you have a child, it's 'when are you having another?' and 'wouldn't it be nice if you had 'one of each?' Er, no. The sex of my kids is the last of my considerations. In general people just seem to lack imagination, but the baby thing should never be commented on, IMO.

Annoying small talk aside, I wish you a happy marriage OP.

It would be really weird to walk up to and bride and groom and not ask them about their day. You couldn't just start talking to them about random stuff. You should have eloped and not had any guests there.

Next time you get married, wear a tshirt with "I've had the best day" printed on the front and back at the reception.

People are just trying to make polite conversation. You must’ve had a good day of this is the most you have to complain about!

Or, "piss off, you boring idiots with your niceties at a wedding 😡"

"we really weren’t that into the whole big wedding or centre of attention thing so I wasn’t even going into it expecting it to be the best day ever.", this makes a lot of sense and really puts your op into perspective @Goodnewsday , sorry you're getting your ass handed to you here. I've had a couple of lovely weddings and honestly don't recall this aspect of the day, but i did dream recently that i was getting married, and i was in the bathroom looking in the mirror before my grand entrance thinking, "fuck, why did we do this?!!!".