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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at this

53 replies

Sydney0101 · 15/08/2022 00:15

I know it's not a massive deal but it's really starting to piss me off.

DH family I feel are just too overly dependent for every thing and avoid paying for anything. I won't go anymore into detail.

I can't help but feel annoyed that they even use our account Netflix, YouTube, prime etc and his sibling kid has to have their own account everywhere I click and I don't know why but it really bothers me. I've suggested making a guest account and anyone who uses can watch there but something just ticks me off when I see their name next to mine, my kids & DH. The kids calls my DH to pay for films on prime and I just feel like saying why can't your own parent pay for it since they spend most of their time clubbing I'm sure they can afford a film but they think it's better to expense us.

Anyhoo that's me and my rant...

I'm sure I'll get a lot of criticism but just felt the need to let off some steam..

OP posts:
winterlilies · 15/08/2022 00:19

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Hiddenvoice · 15/08/2022 00:20

I totally understand this! My dh family are the same, he pays for Netflix, Amazon prime etc and they all seem to have accounts on it, even though they are grown adults with full time jobs and can easily afford it themselves. I’ve said to dh numerous times about changing passwords since he set it up when they were all younger. My pil seem to think dh is the family handy man, he is always expected to drop what he’s doing to help his sisters out, even expected to pick up and drop off their cars for mots.
Is it bothering dh or is he used to it now? My dh recently just got fed up with doing it all and just directs family to google for needing help with things!

Aquamarine1029 · 15/08/2022 00:23

You have a husband problem. If he refuses to stop being such a mug, there's not much you can do about it. If your money is being used, separate finances.

TheWristBoundLatexBitch · 15/08/2022 00:25

We pay for all that and also provide it for my younger brother, he has no access to money of his own and my parents don't have accounts. It was my husband that set it up not me (my husband has been around longer than my brother, and my brother may as well be his to be fair 😂)

TheWristBoundLatexBitch · 15/08/2022 00:25

TheWristBoundLatexBitch · 15/08/2022 00:25

We pay for all that and also provide it for my younger brother, he has no access to money of his own and my parents don't have accounts. It was my husband that set it up not me (my husband has been around longer than my brother, and my brother may as well be his to be fair 😂)

His brother, not his child

Sydney0101 · 15/08/2022 00:31

Hiddenvoice · 15/08/2022 00:20

I totally understand this! My dh family are the same, he pays for Netflix, Amazon prime etc and they all seem to have accounts on it, even though they are grown adults with full time jobs and can easily afford it themselves. I’ve said to dh numerous times about changing passwords since he set it up when they were all younger. My pil seem to think dh is the family handy man, he is always expected to drop what he’s doing to help his sisters out, even expected to pick up and drop off their cars for mots.
Is it bothering dh or is he used to it now? My dh recently just got fed up with doing it all and just directs family to google for needing help with things!

I originally set it up and then he changed it over to his account and decided to hand it out and he sees nothing wrong but I do! Exactly as you mentioned, they all also have jobs but think it's only fair we should be expensed for it. His sister up until recently use to make comments about my DH providing for her as if she's his responsibility. My family have never behaved as his does and I've expressed numerous times that I just don't want to see their names on there. Instead open a guest account and that way everyone who is not apart of this family can use that but it seems they have to be overly involved in every part of my life, I feel like I'm suffocating around them.

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Sydney0101 · 15/08/2022 00:33

TheWristBoundLatexBitch · 15/08/2022 00:25

We pay for all that and also provide it for my younger brother, he has no access to money of his own and my parents don't have accounts. It was my husband that set it up not me (my husband has been around longer than my brother, and my brother may as well be his to be fair 😂)

I get that but in my case, they are adults with jobs who can easily open an account and pay for themselves + their kids. However, they have 0 shame and would rather expense us.

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Sydney0101 · 15/08/2022 00:34

Aquamarine1029 · 15/08/2022 00:23

You have a husband problem. If he refuses to stop being such a mug, there's not much you can do about it. If your money is being used, separate finances.

Problem is he intentionally chooses to do it knowing it bothers me and why.

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Sydney0101 · 15/08/2022 00:35

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I think your missing the point.

It becomes my problem when expenses are coming out of our household family or not.

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Hiddenvoice · 15/08/2022 00:37

So strange that the sister would expect her brother to provide for her. I have brothers, I’d never expect them to pay for anything for me unless it was something we were going in half’s for.
Sadly if it’s not bothering dh then I’m not sure what you can do but I think the guest account is a good idea. They could all just watch on one account.

winterlilies · 15/08/2022 00:40

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Sydney0101 · 15/08/2022 00:42

Hiddenvoice · 15/08/2022 00:37

So strange that the sister would expect her brother to provide for her. I have brothers, I’d never expect them to pay for anything for me unless it was something we were going in half’s for.
Sadly if it’s not bothering dh then I’m not sure what you can do but I think the guest account is a good idea. They could all just watch on one account.

SIL acts very entitled and thinks my DH is responsible for her, and he's not! Not only does he pay for all her access but she has the nerve to call/ msg with attitude when something is not working. I've told her before why doesn't she pay for her own stuff instead and she's made comments like "why should I when he can pay for it". Maybe one day my DH will open his eyes and use his head properly

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LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 15/08/2022 01:00

I’m in the MN minority who finds this annoying and rude. They’re not expensive, people should get their own! I did read somewhere Netflix were gonna clamp down on this because it’s a factor in driving up prices.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 15/08/2022 01:01

I know from friends what annoys them is when they can’t watch something because several ILs are all watching other things at the same time. That would enrage me, nothing comes between me and my Netflix binges 😂

Sydney0101 · 15/08/2022 01:14

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 15/08/2022 01:00

I’m in the MN minority who finds this annoying and rude. They’re not expensive, people should get their own! I did read somewhere Netflix were gonna clamp down on this because it’s a factor in driving up prices.

I definitely find it rude and a waste of money when they can pay for themselves. It would not be a bad idea if Netflix can make them all pay lol

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Sydney0101 · 15/08/2022 01:15

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 15/08/2022 01:01

I know from friends what annoys them is when they can’t watch something because several ILs are all watching other things at the same time. That would enrage me, nothing comes between me and my Netflix binges 😂

No one dares goes in my account lol but DH pays for the most expensive option where the maximum can watch so you can imagine 🙃

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maryberryslayers · 15/08/2022 01:44

We had this. It kept logging me out on our TVs every time MIL messed with it. I told DH to ask them to sort their own as I was sick of having to log in every time I wanted to watch something. Not sure if he did but a week later I deleted her account and changed the password. Problem solved. Never been logged out since!

PurpleMarie · 15/08/2022 02:16

You’re being stingy. If you’re paying for it anyway, why not share?

Sydney0101 · 15/08/2022 03:03

PurpleMarie · 15/08/2022 02:16

You’re being stingy. If you’re paying for it anyway, why not share?

Not being stingy if they're happily using ALL services at our expense. It might sound petty but it's those details I mentioned that really do tick me off and especially when it comes from people who prefer to use your money instead of their own

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Sydney0101 · 15/08/2022 03:04

maryberryslayers · 15/08/2022 01:44

We had this. It kept logging me out on our TVs every time MIL messed with it. I told DH to ask them to sort their own as I was sick of having to log in every time I wanted to watch something. Not sure if he did but a week later I deleted her account and changed the password. Problem solved. Never been logged out since!

Thing is he's paid the expensive one where multiple people can watch at the same time so we wouldn't have that issue. I got mad one time and changed their account to guest and when I went back in they had changed it over 😒

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iloveyoubaby1 · 15/08/2022 03:46

I wouldn't be happy with this either. It's not your responsibility to be paying for his family. They are grown adults.
For some reason your DH is taking responsibility for them. I'm wondering if this is what he learnt to do when he was growing up.
Have the two of you sat down and had a proper conversation about this and have you expressed how unhappy you are with the situation? And that he isn't responsible to cover the costs for other grown adults?

alphons · 15/08/2022 04:47

Does your SIL have a DH?

whiteroseredrose · 15/08/2022 05:11

I think Netflix are clamping down on this anyway.

I think there is a trial (in Costa Rica?) where the multiple viewers must be in the same house. Not sure how it will work if you go on holiday or have a second home though.

Sussyknowsthemeaningoflife · 15/08/2022 05:25

I had this with in laws, logged in one evening and couldn't watch my own effing netflix as too many of dh family were already watching. I messaged bil straight away and told him to log out and get his own.
You could just get your own netflix and refuse to share login details with anyone, including your husband if he cannot be trusted.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 15/08/2022 05:32

Just change the passwords.