Wibu to wear plimsoles to a funeral?

[GrumpyLovegood]

Funeral for a friend who has been very close at times over many years. I caught up with her a few times while she was ill and visited her at home a couple of weeks before she died. She was young and incredibly popular and loved; I would say I am not among her closest closest friends, but not far off.
It is at a crem and then a local hotel.
I have a simple black dress, covers shoulders, knee length, feels right. But what to wear on my feet? And her family have advised “wear as much colour as you are comfortable with”. I don’t have any other dresses that aren’t super casual.
I am thinking of wearing black converse style pumps (clean, new). I never wear heels and own none. The other option is yellow pumps (trainer style) for a bit of colour, but they feel too casual. I have a pair of smart black sandals but they are open toe, is that ok? Or I have brown suede slip on shoes with a closed toe that might work?
And is it ok to wear bare legs? It is to be 30degrees.
For colour I think I will wear a pink vest/cami under my dress which will be visible at my bust.
I am 46 if it matters.
I feel a bit ignorant of funeral etiquette.

I would wear the black sandals it's going to be hot so sandals make sense

I recently wore my canvas Toms to a funeral. I doubt anyone cares or would even notice what you have on your feet. Your friend wouldn’t mind would she? Sorry for your loss.

I would not wear converse style or any trainers to a funeral personally.

Sandals 100%

Bare legs at a funeral just seems wrong.

Sandals are absolutely fine. Personally I think pristine canvas plimsolls would also be fine.

As they’ve mentioned colour etc it doesn’t sound like they want it to be ultra sombre and formal.

Sorry you’ve lost your friend

Black sandals would be fine. I don’t think bare legs are a problem, esp when it’s so hot. Family sound relaxed so fit in with their instructions.

I’d wear the black sandals and don’t worry about wearing bright colours.
I attended a funeral a few years back ( young man, son of couple I knew) They’d said to wear bright colours so I turned up in pink, navy and purple skirt, plain top, pink jacket………and was one of only 2 people not dressed in black or dark blue.

Wear what you are comfortable in. Any of the options you have given sound fine, and the family sound pretty relaxed about the dress code.

For what it's worth, we recently had my FILs funeral, and my nephew wore extremely casual clothes, converse style shoes and a beanie - and he carried the coffin. Nobody batted an eyelid as far as I'm aware, and if they did, well that's their problem. The family were just glad to have him there.

If we're talking etiquette then for a funeral I think plimsolls are better than sandals because your feet are fully covered.

Yellow with black will make it look as if you're making some kind of statement (you may even get people asking you the significance). Brown with black will just look weird.

Mind, I think black dress and bare legs will also look a bit strange. Do you have a dark blue longish skirt? I don't think formal is the important thing here.

Given the family's instructions, just be comfortable.

Both open toes and bare legs are absolutely fine at a summer funeral.

(I wore yellow sandals with my otherwise black/grey/white outfit. No-one commented. Id be surprised if many even noticed.)

Yellow with black will make it look as if you're making some kind of statement (you may even get people asking you the significance). Brown with black will just look weird.

Family have asked people to wear colour. No one will care.

I can honestly say I can't remember what anyone wore to my sibling's funeral and didn't care what people wore. I had bigger things to worry about.

The sandals sound fine, I've had bare legs at several funerals and no one seems to even notice

When MIL died the family decided everyone who attended the funeral should wear colour as she was a woman who enjoyed life. My Dd recently attended a funeral where all were asked to wear red, the deceased’s favourite colour. I would go with the yellow trainers.

Wear the sandals. Pumps just seem wrong. And yes, in summer, bare legs are fine.

The last few funerals I've been to, I've seen people turning up in all sorts of scruff! And others not bothered about black, just wearing what they want. Bare legs, bare shoulders hasn't made much difference.
I know it's them being there that matters, but I do prefer to keep it smartish and black.

She was your friend, I don't think there's any need for you to go dressed in something you're not comfortable in. Pumps sound fine!

Another vote for the sandals. Sorry for your loss.

Sorry about your friend
Funeral etiquette is becoming much more relaxed these days - especially for younger people.
I’m surprised to see the comment about bare legs - and assume that poster is probably over 60? I think that it’s definitely ok, especially in this recent weather.

Generally I would say smart, and reasonably well covered is respectful (ie/ not strappy tops). It’s not even unusual for men to be in smart jeans nowadays - although suit and black tie will always be popular.

Ive been to funerals where families have asked us to wear ‘bright colours’ or football shirts, or the favourite colour of the deceased etc, or just no black (although it was noticeable that some older people ignored the request and wore black anyway). Very considerate of the family to say ‘as much colour as you are comfortable with’

Your dress sounds traditional and respectful, no one will even notice what footwear you choose so I would go with whatever is cool and comfortable.

You can't have been to many funerals then ( I hope that's the case) as pretty much anything goes now as long as it's not indecent .

Given they've said wear colour it's clearly not going to be a funeral where etiquette is vital so ignore the 'rules' about no bear legs, wearing black, wearing formal footwear. Go in what your friend would have wanted you to wear. Yellow pumps sound great! As does a pink cami.

*bare legs. I agree there should be no bear legs.

Thank you all so much.
I’ve tried on a few options and have actually found a pair of shoes deep in my wardrobe which I think look right. They are grey, round toe, tiny heel, very comfortable. And match the grey & pink cami colour.
Thanks for the reassurance around bare legs. I think at these temps they are a must.
You’re right, no one will care. But if I feel ‘right’ it will take one stress out of a difficult day.

I wouldn’t wear a black dress if the family have ask mourners to wear colour? At least make sure you have a brightly coloured scarf or similar ready to throw on.

Recent funeral i was at where family asked for colour was a mix of formal attire, very bright rainbow outfits, casual wear, even shorts, the bereaved mum wore jeans and trainers. I think things are much more relaxed and most families will just be pleased that people show up so unless specified wear what you are comfortable in.

Same. I would wear a more casual outfit if that's what I had that wasn't black.