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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have ‘defaced’ this photograph??

818 replies

Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:39

We have lockers at work, in our break room where everyone goes and one co-worker,
Jim, has a photo of a famous, topless page 3 girl on the inside of his door.
the girl in the photo was 16 when it was taken, and he’s had it since around the same age - he wrote into The Sun and got a signed one sent- so it’s very precious to him.

several women have mentioned to Jim that they’d rather he didn’t have it there as the locker door is often left open and we can see it. Jim thinks we’re prudes, because it’s famous page 3 girls, and IN his locker it’s not an issue.

Anyway, cut to last week. I was alone in break room. Locker door was open so I’m looking at this picture. There were Sharpie pens sitting on the table. So I gave the child in the photo quite a substantial bikini top with the permanent marker.

shit has hit the fan! Management don’t quite know what to do. Jim is furious, and the workforce divided into those who think it’s funny and those who think it was wrong.
no-one know who did it… Jim
his suspicions …

So MN, was AIBU??

OP posts:
Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 19:24

DownNative · 14/08/2022 19:22

16 year old CANNOT go to war due to the murder of the 3 Scottish soldiers by Provisional Sinn Féin and Provisional IRA in 1971.

Show quote history

@DownNative The minimum age for enlisting in the UK armed forces is 16. The UK is the only country in Europe which routinely recruits people aged under 18. Those who sign on when 16 or 17 must serve until they are 22.

Onandupw · 14/08/2022 19:43

@Ryah76 but he’s putting the picture up now??? Im unclear about the fact that picture is from however many years ago means it is fine to have it on display?

a child sexual image is a child sexual image. Current age for that is 18.

Onandupw · 14/08/2022 19:45

@Ryah76 helpful if you could explain the correlation between enlisting and child sexual images?

I think that enlisting 16 year olds is also wrong.

but even if I thought it was right I’m unclear how that means it’s okay then to take pictures of girls breasts to display in public and wank off to?

Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 19:52

@Onandupw Please read my posts. & and then re-read again if you need to. Nowhere have I stated that the image is acceptable or appropriate for display within the workplace. I have said that it is NOT SO! My answer to the original question posed was I believed it WAS unreasonable to deface the article- that it should have been escalated through HR.
The image is of a famous glamour Model, page 3 which the OP states was taken when said model was believed to be 16 yrs, and the image had been signed by the model.
At the time the image was taken she was not underage - AT THAT TIME.
However, tbe arguments surrounding that topic(historical context , age appropriate and sexual exploitation, Covent etc ) was not the fundamental issue.

Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 19:56

Onandupw · 14/08/2022 19:45

@Ryah76 helpful if you could explain the correlation between enlisting and child sexual images?

I think that enlisting 16 year olds is also wrong.

but even if I thought it was right I’m unclear how that means it’s okay then to take pictures of girls breasts to display in public and wank off to?

How are you not understanding what I’m saying- also for context read the post my reply was responding too. Additionally, where was it stated the man I. Question was ‘wanking off’ to the image. I read he was proud that the model had signed his poster- not that he was taking the image into the loos to ‘get off’!
stick to the facts as presented

PoseyFlump · 14/08/2022 19:59

Kashmirsilver · 14/08/2022 11:09

Page 3 is tawdry. However, you deliberately damaged a colleague's property.
You should face disciplinary at a minimum. If you worked for me I'd sack you on the spot.

Presumably you'd also be in a position where you'd have to sack Jim too?

PumpkinClementina · 14/08/2022 20:01

141mum · 14/08/2022 18:41

You see topless people on the beach

Do you see adult men wanking over topless children on the beach? Weird places you inhabit.

Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 20:05

PumpkinClementina · 14/08/2022 20:01

Do you see adult men wanking over topless children on the beach? Weird places you inhabit.

Show quote history

where are people getting this ‘wanking’ Information from? Can you re- post where the original poster stated this was happening please?

PoseyFlump · 14/08/2022 20:07

@PumpkinClementina I think you've perfectly summed up in that one sentence the weirdness of all those defending Jim on this thread. Can someone remind me what year this is please?

DownNative · 14/08/2022 20:22

Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 19:24

@DownNative The minimum age for enlisting in the UK armed forces is 16. The UK is the only country in Europe which routinely recruits people aged under 18. Those who sign on when 16 or 17 must serve until they are 22.

Show quote history

A 16 year old can ENLIST to join the British Army. Correct.

But under 18s CANNOT be sent to a theatre of war which is literally what YOU argued. As I said, under 18s haven't been sent to war with the British Army since the murder of the 3 Scottish soldiers by Provisional Sinn Féin and Provisional IRA.

Enlisting and being sent to war zones are two duff things entirely. @Ryah76 accept you were blatantly incorrect to claim 16 year old can be sent to war since they cannot.

Check out the MOD website if you want....

Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 20:22

@PoseyFlump Im not defending having the image, but I do find it quite scary how so many have added ‘facts’ to the OPs original post- I didn’t see any reference to ‘Jim’ using the image to wank off to- but please point me to it if I’m wrong.
people on here have effectively labelled him a Pedophile- when in actuality ‘Jim’ displayed a page 3 photo in his locker which was visible when the locker door was opened.
I agree that’s inappropriate- the OP stated that she believed the model may have been around 16 when the photo was taken.
Thats what was posted- no reference to wanking or pedophiles..

AllyCatTown · 14/08/2022 20:24

I don’t get the argument that it was fine for it’s time period. Think of the racist images that were fine in the past. It doesn’t mean it’s ok to show them now.

PumpkinClementina · 14/08/2022 20:25

@Ryah76 ok then, why do you think men like to keep naked pictures of women? News flash it's not to study their anatomy for scientific purposes. It's for wanking! Don't be so disingenuous, it's boring!

Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 20:26

Hey @DownNative I have NOO problem with that - you are ABSOLUTELY 100% Correct , enlisting is totally different to war. So effectively at 16 you can make the decision to have sex and join the armed forces!..

PumpkinClementina · 14/08/2022 20:27

And although Jim may not be wanking in the workplace (though we don't know what he does on his lunch break), he has put an indecent image of a child up, in his place of work, and refused to take it down purposely to taunt the women who have objected to it.

Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 20:28

@AllyCatTown Well you don’t have to accept anything - but it is what it is

Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 20:30

@PumpkinClementina well tbe image is not appropriate for the work place - this I agree on.m, and like I said that’s what HR is for- go through proper channels and address it correctly- it really isn’t hard.

TooHotToTangoToo · 14/08/2022 20:30

If it meant that much to him, he should have taken it home. I'm on team op

MunchMunch · 14/08/2022 20:31

I've voted YABU. It's not your property and it was in his locker, ok the door was open but that doesn't mean you can damage someone else's property.

You don't have to like the photo but she was old enough to decide to be a topless model.

I don't smoke or vape and I hate second hand smoke but that doesn't mean it's ok for me to go round snapping someone's cigarettes that are within the confines of their open locker.

Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 20:33

@PumpkinClementina You cannot say that he’s wanking off to the image.. this is so dangerous. Heterosexual men are attracted to the opposite sex, but that doesn’t mean that at every given opportunity they have their hands down their pants!

Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 20:35

@AllyCatTown I don’t know if you are a person of colour or not.. but I am and it gets me so mad when people compare incidents of blatant racism to try and prove a point on an unrelated argument- do better.

PumpkinClementina · 14/08/2022 20:35

@Ryah76 oh for god sake I never said Jim was wanking off to the picture you moron. Please please tell me where I definitely said he was wanking off to this picture of a topless child? Do you often have a hard time comprehending what you've read?

Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 20:38

@PumpkinClementina oh I’m the moron! Wind your neck in love! Can you not have a debate or constructive discussion without resorting to name calling?.. I’m guessing not! I don’t argue with idiots- move on!

easylisten · 14/08/2022 20:39

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Ryah76 · 14/08/2022 20:39

PumpkinClementina · 14/08/2022 20:25

@Ryah76 ok then, why do you think men like to keep naked pictures of women? News flash it's not to study their anatomy for scientific purposes. It's for wanking! Don't be so disingenuous, it's boring!

@PumpkinClementina - please see your ‘quote’ .. and the. Get back to me!