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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have ‘defaced’ this photograph??

818 replies

Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:39

We have lockers at work, in our break room where everyone goes and one co-worker,
Jim, has a photo of a famous, topless page 3 girl on the inside of his door.
the girl in the photo was 16 when it was taken, and he’s had it since around the same age - he wrote into The Sun and got a signed one sent- so it’s very precious to him.

several women have mentioned to Jim that they’d rather he didn’t have it there as the locker door is often left open and we can see it. Jim thinks we’re prudes, because it’s famous page 3 girls, and IN his locker it’s not an issue.

Anyway, cut to last week. I was alone in break room. Locker door was open so I’m looking at this picture. There were Sharpie pens sitting on the table. So I gave the child in the photo quite a substantial bikini top with the permanent marker.

shit has hit the fan! Management don’t quite know what to do. Jim is furious, and the workforce divided into those who think it’s funny and those who think it was wrong.
no-one know who did it… Jim
his suspicions …

So MN, was AIBU??

OP posts:
Trixiefirecracker · 14/08/2022 16:13

@Watzzap are you Jim? 😂

EdBallsDay · 14/08/2022 16:17

Nicely done OP. Vile for a grown man to be perving over a child.

EdBallsDay · 14/08/2022 16:18

whalleyt · 14/08/2022 09:49

tbf that's quite funny & well done for resisting the urge to do a tache!

Was also thinking this. Or a mohican.

EdBallsDay · 14/08/2022 16:20

Outlyingtrout · 14/08/2022 09:56

Well I couldn’t give a single shit about damaging someone else’s property when the property in question is a pornographic image of a child.

Jim sounds disgusting. He a) gets sexual gratification from looking at a naked child and b) is further gratified at the prospect of the discomfort he is causing the women he works with by displaying this image that he knows is morally wrong and getting away with it.

It’s shocking that your management have allowed this.

Well put.

cadburyegg · 14/08/2022 16:21

I can't vote as on app but YANBU! Hahaha. Well played OP 👏👏

PumpkinClementina · 14/08/2022 16:41

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 14:25

Also op you gave yourself away. Jim wouldn’t be 48. He’d be 56 the same age as Sam is, as they wer both sixteen at the same time in your little story.

The OP never said it was Sam Fox.

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 16:48

PumpkinClementina · 14/08/2022 16:41

The OP never said it was Sam Fox.

Show quote history

You are so desperate for this to be true.

sam fox is the famous sixteen year old, her mother sent her photos in, Sam was in theatre school and a bad, she signed a two year deal with the newspaper and was paid 2 grand a week in 1983, which is the equivalent of 8 grand now, she went on to do it for four years then retired at the grand old age of twenty.

toomuchlaundry · 14/08/2022 16:51

Unfortunately, SF wasn't the only 16yo topless model

GoldLeafGoldHoop · 14/08/2022 16:52

Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:45

For those who are saying IABU, curious as to why? Is it because it’s a Page 3 girl or would you usually think it’s okay to have a photo of a top less woman on visible in the workplace when women have asked that it be taken down?
no judgement! Just genuinely curious!

You shouldn’t deface someone’s property.

If so many of you didn’t want it there then it should have been taken to management.

For · 14/08/2022 16:52

It was porn. Child porn. In the workplace. The fact that it was legal when printed doesn’t mean it is legal now, and it probably isn’t.

You complained to the owner of the porn, and the management, neither took steps to remove child porn from the workplace or to protect other employees from being exposed to it. They created this situation, not you.

Well done OP! 👏 👏

Maireas · 14/08/2022 16:58

toomuchlaundry · 14/08/2022 16:51

Unfortunately, SF wasn't the only 16yo topless model

True, Maria Whittaker was another one. They were all very young. Although at least Geri Halliwell was 18.

PumpkinClementina · 14/08/2022 16:59

@Anniefrenchfry desperate for what? That statement doesn't even make sense.
There were hundreds of other girls that were 16 featured on page 3 in the 80's, 90's, 00's. Sam was certainly not 16 in 1990 when Jim would have been but plenty of other girls on page 3 were.

RedHelenB · 14/08/2022 17:00

Brefugee · 14/08/2022 09:43

you shouldn't have defaced the photo. You could have taken it down and placed it in the locker, or stuck post-it notes on it.
What you really should do is take a photo of the room with the door open and the tits on show and show your management and tell them, again, that it is unacceptable, makes people uncomfortable and that they MUST do something.

Exactly this End of the day its his property and it was wrong to deface it as it isn't illegal. However, it shouldn't be in a workplace.

Itreallyistimetogo · 14/08/2022 17:02

He is unreasonable for putting it on his locker, management are very unreasonable for not asking him to take it down but you are most unreasonable of all for defacing someone else's property.

For · 14/08/2022 17:02

WaveyHair · 14/08/2022 13:38

YABU - not your property to deface. You may find the photo objectionable but not illegal. To permanently ruin it is crossing a line, bit like graffiti on car.

I think this brings up a key point. Was it illegal? It is NOW illegal to possess a sexual image of someone under age 18. ‘Sexual’ is something that can be argued about but the definition includes partial nudity.

The police can and do caution/ prosecute people for having a nude child in eg the background of a beach photo.

Seems to me it was most likely an illegal photo. OP turned it into a legal photo. 👏 OP.

Boobsakimbo2 · 14/08/2022 17:08

‘I voted YABU because I've read this story twice in the last 5 or 6 years.’

Really? This exact one? Well that would be a coincidence!
or was it just along the same lines? I’m sure - I hope- I’m not the first woman to protest against ‘glamour’ shots or calendars or whatever in this way.
theres women on here saying they e done similar…

toomuchlaundry · 14/08/2022 17:11

OP might have be in trouble if she took a photo of the image as she would have an image on 16yo on her phone

ReneBumsWombats · 14/08/2022 17:11

Boobsakimbo2 · 14/08/2022 17:08

‘I voted YABU because I've read this story twice in the last 5 or 6 years.’

Really? This exact one? Well that would be a coincidence!
or was it just along the same lines? I’m sure - I hope- I’m not the first woman to protest against ‘glamour’ shots or calendars or whatever in this way.
theres women on here saying they e done similar…

What was the point of a name change this close to the original?

TeapotTitties · 14/08/2022 17:13

Nope, same one.

Basilthymerosemary · 14/08/2022 17:14

If you're such good friends with Jim I'd suggest you admit it was you. If you really believe you haven't done anything wrong- just tell him. If you can't tell him- you know it was wrong.

NumberTheory · 14/08/2022 17:19

mam0918 · 14/08/2022 11:10

You damaged someone elses property in on their property... you commited a crime, of course you are wrong.

Regardless of your personal feelings, it was and still is legal to own and you dont get to impose your personal beliefs in vigilanty actions outside of the law.

Also as a woman who worked for a company similar to page 3 I have never met a woman who it wasnt wholehaertedly her choice to pose topless, many of us feel our breasts are not 'shameful' or 'offensive'... its not femanism to impose control over other women and attempt to shame us or forcibly remove our own choice.

@mam0918 It isn’t legal to own. Possessing an indecent picture of an under 18 year old is a crime. If you are unaware of this, I hope your time working for a company similar to Page 3 was a very long time ago.

Also, protecting children from sexual exploitation isn’t shaming women.

Nor is it shaming women to try and keep sexualization of women out of workplaces. Being proud of your body and/or unashamed of your breasts is unrelated to men using pictures of women’s or girls’ breasts for a sexual thrill at work.

Boobsakimbo2 · 14/08/2022 17:25

@TeapotTitties well in that case, I’m afraid I don’t believe you. Or go ahead and post the link to the story. Because this really did happen, at my work, and I was the one who drew a substantial bra top on an old photo of a Page 3 girl.

JaneJeffer · 14/08/2022 17:29

Why the name change @Boobsakimbo2 ?

Technonan · 14/08/2022 17:37

It was something that was precious to him as you were very well aware, and you destroyed it. It's one thing to ask him to remove a topless photo you could have talked to management or asked him to keep his locker door closed, but it was his property, you destroyed it. You're being very U. Have you admitted that you did it? If not, you should, as you seem very proud of what you have done.

Rheia1983 · 14/08/2022 17:48

Wow, there are actually people on this thread arguing that child porn that is precious to someone should not be defaced/destroyed?

What other types of child abuse should be permitted if it's precious to the owner?

OP, well done.

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