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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have ‘defaced’ this photograph??

818 replies

Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:39

We have lockers at work, in our break room where everyone goes and one co-worker,
Jim, has a photo of a famous, topless page 3 girl on the inside of his door.
the girl in the photo was 16 when it was taken, and he’s had it since around the same age - he wrote into The Sun and got a signed one sent- so it’s very precious to him.

several women have mentioned to Jim that they’d rather he didn’t have it there as the locker door is often left open and we can see it. Jim thinks we’re prudes, because it’s famous page 3 girls, and IN his locker it’s not an issue.

Anyway, cut to last week. I was alone in break room. Locker door was open so I’m looking at this picture. There were Sharpie pens sitting on the table. So I gave the child in the photo quite a substantial bikini top with the permanent marker.

shit has hit the fan! Management don’t quite know what to do. Jim is furious, and the workforce divided into those who think it’s funny and those who think it was wrong.
no-one know who did it… Jim
his suspicions …

So MN, was AIBU??

OP posts:
Needachangee · 14/08/2022 14:06

I would love to see if the people who have voted you are BU would like it if 40 year old men had a picture of their 16 year old daughter in a bikini. It’s disgusting, she’s a child in that photo. Completely unacceptable

TeapotTitties · 14/08/2022 14:06

Page3photo · 14/08/2022 14:02

TeapotTitties

Did you understand as a 16 year old child that men would be wanking themselves off to the photos of your tits?

Yes, I think pretty much every 16 year old knows about walking. To be fair People want over images of fully clothed people too.

But people don't wear clothes for the sole purpose of people wanking over them.

If the adults in the industry made you feel that it was normal and ok, then you were groomed into getting your tits out to make money for them.

TempNameChangexx · 14/08/2022 14:07

I voted YANBU, I'd have taken it and destroyed it tbh
When I was 18 I worked (for a short time) in a pretty-much exclusively male department where the tea room was plastered with topless pics.
People may argue that "times were different back then" in the early 80s, but I hated being in there and seeing those, and it made me see the guys I worked with in a different light.....

Rewis · 14/08/2022 14:09

Since the management didn't do anything. I would have reported them and Jim to HR. I don't see drawing the bikinis is the worst crime but I do think you shouldn't have done that. But all of this makes your entire work place seem quite inappropriate and I think escalating it would have been the best solution.

Page3photo · 14/08/2022 14:09

TeapotTitties I was fully aware what these photos were for. Nobody talked me into it, nobody told me it was normal for people to wank over them. I knew exactly what I was getting in to. I know you want to believe I was groomed (and believe me I know about grooming from a professional standpoint) but I can categorically state that I wasn't.

unname · 14/08/2022 14:11

ArtixLynx · 14/08/2022 13:24

i a yabu voter, as i said upthread.. i absolutely agree the photo is digusting, her college is a perv, and it 100% shouldn't be in his locker for everyone to see.

However, i still disagree with her defacing it someone elses property in their private locker. That was not ok.

Where do you draw the line?

This is an image of a child being exploited. Would you be ok with it if where a graphic photo of a 12 year old?

powergrip · 14/08/2022 14:15

@Discovereads and yet here you are defending it. If shame is something I should feel for destroying pornographic/pedophilic material, then I'm more than happy to have that label.

SuperPets · 14/08/2022 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Things were different back then. They were much worse.

Now, we're AGAINST child porn. Perhaps you were unaware somehow?

Grow the fuck up yourself

HollowTalk · 14/08/2022 14:17

If it's Samantha Fox you're talking about then she was massively exploited by men, in particular her father. The newspapers were waiting for her 16th birthday to post topless photos of her. There was a countdown.

For those of us old enough to remember her in her heyday and who have now have read about what the reality was, it's absolutely shocking.

JaneJeffer · 14/08/2022 14:19

Yes this really happened in 2022

toomuchlaundry · 14/08/2022 14:21

How much self worth did you have that the only reason those photos were taken for men’s self gratification? Why did you think that was a good thing @Page3photo If you had a 16yo daughter I assume you wouldn’t be encouraging them to do it, so why do you think it was okay for adults to encourage you to do it?

SmallPrawnEnergy · 14/08/2022 14:22

and believe me I know about grooming from a professional standpoint
Christ, you’re responsible for safeguard children? I seriously fucking hope not. No one who has been involved in making pornography should be anywhere near kids.

BlodynGwyn · 14/08/2022 14:24

Back in the 70's men often kept posters and centerfolds of naked women at work. I worked on both sides of the Atlantic and saw it done in the UK and US.

Both in the UK and US I bought Playgirl magazines and put up the naked men pics alongside the naked girl pics.

Reactions; In the US, old Carl said "What the hell" as I told him, "those pictures are really hung". Everyone had a good laugh.

In the UK everyone got a huge laugh when the gay guy made off with the entire PlayGirl magazine to the men's room. He wasn't 'out' but we only suspected - until that day.

Good times. I'd never have defaced a poster or photo. Back then we were going for equality not vandalism.

Pansypotter123 · 14/08/2022 14:24

Things were different then

So, applying that logic, an employee could, for example, have a poster saying "whites only" pinned in their locker?

Page3photo · 14/08/2022 14:25

toomuchlaundry I have nit said that that was "the only reason these photos were taken* to me it was a job. I was also dancing professionally then (as part of a commercial group not stripping or lapdancing) and doing a bit of fashion modelling so yep, just another job. I sent photos in, I wasn't plucked off the street and coerced.

I've already said that I would not encourage a 16 year old to do it now.

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 14:25

Also op you gave yourself away. Jim wouldn’t be 48. He’d be 56 the same age as Sam is, as they wer both sixteen at the same time in your little story.

JoanCandy · 14/08/2022 14:27

Sure, feck it ! Feck Jim and his bloody photo ! He should've kept it at home if it meant that much to him. Feck your 'still in the 1980's' bosses who reckon it's OK despite making many of you feel uncomfortable ! Bravo, OP.
YANBU.

ToughLoveLDN · 14/08/2022 14:28

That’s so gross. And so is the owner of the image.

who keeps porn at work, especially of underage girls.

personally, regardless of your relationship with the guy I think him and your managers should be reported to HR. Is it not child porn on some level?

Page3photo · 14/08/2022 14:28

smallprawnenergy Oh dear, calm down, did I say I was "responsible for children's safeguarding? No. And doing glamour shots over the age of 16 wouldn't stop me from doing so even if I was.

toomuchlaundry · 14/08/2022 14:30

Why do you think it is illegal now @Page3photo and do you agree that it is now illegal?

CandyLeBonBon · 14/08/2022 14:30

Please don't destroy or deface the Sistene Chapel.

I think MN might collectively scream and cry if that happened!

Page3photo · 14/08/2022 14:31

Do I agree that what's illegal?

toomuchlaundry · 14/08/2022 14:32

Page 3 type photos of 16yo

IncompleteSenten · 14/08/2022 14:32

It was hugely inappropriate for him to have it in the workplace where other members of staff had to see it on a regular basis.

It is not ok to draw on someone else's property but I struggle to feel sorry for him. Why did he have it in the workplace? Why was it important to him that people at work saw it? He could have kept it in an envelope or something if it's that he wanted to see it. He wanted other people to see it who had no interest in seeing it.

Now she's wearing a bikini top. It's still signed. He can still see her face. 🤷.

Page3photo · 14/08/2022 14:34

My point is it was when I did it, no laws were broken.