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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think what is the point of car seats

26 replies

Wallace · 20/01/2008 19:59

if you are not even going to bother tightening the straps properly?

I have been car-less recently and friends have very kindly been giving me lifts. And I've noticed that not a single one of them tigtens the straps on a five-point harness, meaning the shoulder straps are so loose that they would be useless in an accident.

OP posts:
McDreamy · 20/01/2008 20:01

Yep I would agree with you. I have a friend who allows her son to ride without his arms through the 5 point harness (IYSWIM) I don't understand why she would do this.

onepieceoflollipop · 20/01/2008 20:01

Do you mean they don't tighten the straps for their own children...or do these friends not have children so have tried to help strap your child in but don't know how to do so correctly? I am a bit confused.

Original poster
Wallace · 20/01/2008 20:08

Sorry, should have been clearer. My friends don't bothering tightening the straps on their own children.

OP posts:
FillyjonkisCALM · 20/01/2008 20:12

oh dear am trying not to start on a rant here

I have several friends who actually don't strap their 4 year olds into the FRONT seat of their cars. They are on a booster (sometimes) but they don't have to strap themselves in unless they want to.

I find it completely weird, tbh. Why take the risk, fgs? Its such a small thing, surely.

onepieceoflollipop · 20/01/2008 20:15

In that case YANBU.

I saw a car yesterday and a lady was in the back with a baby in her arms. I know it is none of my business but it makes me so Years ago (in the days before it was common to have even rear seat belts) an family friend lost 2 of her children in a tragic car accident. I know your example is slightly different but I really don't understand people who don't use restraints in the proper way.

Weegle · 20/01/2008 20:39

YANBU

I was giving a lift to a friend and her DS whose son same age as mine - they were about 15 months at the time. The friend's little boy got his arms free of the straps. I was looking anxiously for somewhere to pull in. Friend told me not to worry and keep driving. I found somewhere (within seconds) and got him back in the straps and told my friend there is no way I would keep driving with a toddler not strapped in correctly. She thought I was being silly as we were only 5 minutes from our destination. In my view that's 5 minutes of too much risk.

TheOriginalXENA · 20/01/2008 20:43

YANBU, like you say what is the point of putting them in the seat!

I have four DC's and I always thought that if a child had managed to get their arms out of a five point harness, the parent hadn't pulled the straps tight enough... DS2 is currently proving me wrong!

tori32 · 20/01/2008 20:49

I am at people not fastening children in correctly. Like the op said it would be useless in an accident.
My dd also gets out of her shoulder straps on occasions even when they are done up tightly (practicing to be a contortionist!! However, I and DH always pull over to re strap her just incase the worst happens.

LIZS · 20/01/2008 20:49

Saw one at school the other day , toddler had the shoulder straps over her upper arms . Doesn't basic logic suggest that she'll just catapult forwards at a sudden stop [sigh]

Miaou · 20/01/2008 20:50

Most car accidents happen within (I think) 3 miles of the home.

I wonder why.

kindersurprise · 20/01/2008 20:59

Pet hate of mine, this.

I had a right barmy with my SIL one time as her DS would not put his seat belt on. I refused to drive unless he was properly strapped in. She thought I was being unreasonable.

Eddas · 20/01/2008 21:07

YANBU at all. I would insist they are all strapped in.

My dd once undid her seatbelt whilst dh was pulling over and picking me up from somewhere. She ended up in the footwell and from then on SHOUTS very loudly when I forget to strap her in(I put her in and then get ds in and then strap her in IYSWIM, trying to prevent running in the road!) She wasn't hurt but really shocked her. Kinda glad it happened as before the little minx would undo her straps forcing me to pull over

My parents made it clear to us as children that the car wouldn't move unless straps were on and they would pull over if we undid them whilst moving.

Basic common sense

PigeonPie · 20/01/2008 21:09

I completely agree that YANBU. I think that it's the driver's responsibility for any child under the age of 14 (?) to be securely restrained and I would not drive any where until they had been.

My DS, too has partly escaped and we stopped as soon as was possible. I just don't understand anyone letting their child roam around the back seat. Although it was completely ingrained into me as a child (of the early 70s) that we were always strapped in and the car didn't go till we were.

littlelapin · 20/01/2008 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 20/01/2008 21:13

I saw this show on BB1 last week, with cops stopping people on the road.

They stopped this Romanian bloke driving on the motorway with his wife in the backseat, with one kid on her lap and the little boy just riding loose.

He also didn't have a full license.

And they gave him a fine and then let him drive away!

I mean, WTF is the point of that?

TAKE THEIR FECKING CARS AWAY RIGHT THEN AND THERE! Give such losers a lift to the police station or bus stop and leave 'em to it!

Flllightattendant · 20/01/2008 21:13

Oh dear. I have to admit I failed to tighten the straps today.

It's supposed to be this brilliant car seat and very safe, bt the straps are awful - they hardly go round his arms when I have to 'insert' him, especially if he has a coat or snowsuit on. It's a nightmare. They are also very very difficult to loosen in the first place. I hate it.

Saying that he does wriggle his arms free even when it is done up tightlly. It makes me very cross that they are so poorly designed.

He is rear facing atm. Ds1 used to wriggle out completely, frequently, it was awful...that was a crappo seat though, I thought this one would be worth the hundred odd quid but it is just as bad.

FillyjonkisCALM · 20/01/2008 21:14

oh both of mine have routinely taken their top arms out of the straps. It is easily enough done, unless you actually want to cut off the circulation to their chests...

We ALWAYS re-strapped them, and when it was especially bad, we just didn't take the offending one in the car. Yes this was bloody hard and inconvenient, but it was safer.

There is also a device called, I think, a HugIt? It goes over the straps and stops them from undoing them. We had them for both but having done a bit of research now would not recommend as would be a little worried about safety in an accident.

I just don't get being casual about car safety. Its not bloody clever, and most of the time-its not like the parent is risking THEIR life, is it? .

Wilkie · 20/01/2008 21:15

I have a Q (sorry to hijack and think YANBU BTW!)

Can you put a forward facing car seat in the front if you are unable to turn your airbags off?

I know you can't with rearward facing seats but wondered if it was OK with forward facing ones?

(I don't do this BTW, just wondered as someone told me you could but I was unsure)

expatinscotland · 20/01/2008 21:17

Wilkie, NO if the child is under a certain height and weight.

LIZS · 20/01/2008 21:17

Wilkie - legally yes you can although not the best safety wise, push the seat right back away from airbag.

ArmadilloDaMan · 20/01/2008 21:18

I don't think you can if the airbags are on.

The reason being they are designed for adults and so are too big for children and can smother them.

Bouncingturtle · 20/01/2008 21:19

YANBU - I told off my dss when he was 4(on a booster seat) as he undid his seatbelt when I was busy parking the car. I had no idea he could even undo it himself! I had stopped in a space but had to pull forward as I was not properly aligned, and when I looked back in the mirror saw him undoing his belt! Ok so I was only moving a few feet at a slow speed but it was the fact that he had took it off without waiting for me to tell him to do so that made frigtened me - what if i had to move much further or faster? Oh got it wrong and hit the next car? I had very strong words with his mum about ensuring he never takes his belt off without permission - she admitted she hadn't realised the danger. He is nearly 7 now and always waits until me, DH or his mum tells him to take his belt off.
And DH & I always check the restraints on ds's car seat before we put him in the car - it is SO not worth the risk!!

JingleyJen · 20/01/2008 21:19

We are tight on car safety and the odd occasion when DS1 has taken his belt off (he is now in a booster seat) I just pull over and tell him we can't continue until it is back on.
FillyjonkisCALM - I pull the straps really tight, it doesn't cut the circulation off but there is no way DS1 could get his arms out.

FillyjonkisCALM · 20/01/2008 21:22

Re the airbags, I don't know if its legal or not

its an extremely bad idea

Airbags expand with a lot of force, the reason that they don't horribly injure and kill adults is because at the point at which the adults lurch forward, the airbag is deflating not inflating (they inflate with tremendous force). This doesn't actually always work, and people are hurt and killed by airbags, but many many more are saved.

Because a forward facing seat is a. fixed and b. quite far forward and c. containing a very small and vunerable person, the effects of an airbag hitting it are much much worse and babies do die when airbags hit their car seat.

The good news is that I think on a lot of cars, you can get a garage to permenantly dismantle the airbag-would suggest this if there was no alternative.

OTOH, for adult passengers, airbags are a good thing. And in a crash, kids are better off in the back (well, everyone is, really)

FillyjonkisCALM · 20/01/2008 21:23

ok well jingley, different kids, different experiences

I promise you, my kids could get their hands out of the car seats. And believe me I am incredibly far from being lax about car safety.

Some kids are just better at these things than other.