to get first mortgage after 40?

[ivebeencalledworse]

Mortgages are not something I know about. I am totally ignorant of them. I've lived without one my whole life. I came from a broken home with no guidance on how to be an adult. I left home at 18 and made my own way, which included debt, poor relationship choices, alcoholism, recklessness, and finally an abusive relationship and had to start all over again with a baby.

Don't get me wrong, I managed well enough, worked, remained functional.

But now at 40 my life is totally turned around because I married a wonderful, responsible, and loving man who adopted my child and we've been happy for five years.

He's younger than me and ambitious. He's supporting us while I use my income to pay off debts, which is going well. I aim to be debt free in the next few years.

I have a council home but my family want a better life so we are talking about a mortgage together.

I have a lot of research to do but when I say I'm ignorant I mean I'm starting from scratch.

Any glaring things I need to know would be gratefully received.

Am I "too old" or anything? Will my bad credit history (even if I am debt-free) be a real issue?

Also, I'm a freelancer with a variable and small income. I will not be going back into full-time employment. My maximum earning will be £1,000/month.

I genuinely never thought I would even be thinking about a mortgage but life has never stopped surprising me.

I appreciate input.

@ivebeencalledworse

You thought £8k was 20% of 200k

I'm really confused about this idea of renting somewhere else but keeping your current house to keep a secure tenancy? He's suggesting paying two lots of rent then? He sounds like a fantasist who's taken advantage of someone very very naive if true

OP are you sure he is training to be an accountant? He seems to lack some pretty basic financial understanding - and have odd life views.

you don’t seem to understand basic finances like deposits or even percentages.

is he doing a part time degree? Is he currently employed by an accountancy firm?

So this leaves me with refusing to move somewhere with him in the short-term. I'm hindering his life. Is that fair?

It might be, and he might being unfair.

is it a case of if you want to live in a big house then you shouldn't have married a financially inept 35 year old who doesn't give a crap?

He would say he married me because he loves me. Should he just suck it up and stay here forever?

I don't even know how to put this politely. Your husband sounds a little...optimistic, a real dreamer however none of the savvy to go with it. And you're sounding like you think he's some kind of Alan Sugar who is destined for the big time and are just going along with it all, taking in everything he says.

He's employed on a training programme with AAT for a private company.
I am not good at maths and no I literally don't know the first thing about finances because I just worked and lived and never wanted to be rich or cared about status.

So you ‘didn’t have a high income’ and now you didn’t have a low income either? The plot thickens!

Somebody having an income somewhere between high and low isn’t that hard a concept to grasp. Sorry, I don’t know you so I’m a bit surprised you are struggling with it.

-what about if you buy your home then and then I rent us somewhere temporarily and then we use the sale of your house later on to get a mortgage out of our rental and into our nice big house?

So you pay a mortgage on your current home, and pay rent on another home. Rather than live in your current home for a few years....?

You must both have money to burn then.

Yes he offered to pay both to appease my worries.
Yes, it's all coming from him and maybe I am being naïve.

What would you do? Refuse to leave here and live here forever and force him to do the same?

What would you do? Refuse to leave here and live here forever and force him to do the same?

I've already said what I'd do, as have others. Buy your place for a discount, live in it for five years, or however long your council requires to you then sell at full price and have a nice chunky deposit to buy a nicer house with.

And make sure when you buy the nice house you are named on deeds as owner, which will probably mean also being on the mortgage, but that's ok.

I don't actually want to go and learn all about mortgages if I don't have to.

Can I ask for a list of things I should ask my husband to reveal his financial ineptitude?

Yes, I'm taken in, because I know nothing about this area.

But you surely know 20% of £200k isn’t £8k?

this is all really odd OP.

there might be an accountant on this thread but I had understood that an AAT course was only a stepping stone to being a qualified accountant? Is he doing level 4.

ultimately this is your choice as a couple. If you don’t want to buy your social house don’t.

you are talking about a small first time buyers type home. You will need to save more than £8k. Remember the additional costs involved - solicitors fees etc. It will take years to progress to the larger family home your husband aspires to.

maybe your husband will become a fully qualified chartered accountant and some day open up his own business. Maybe not.

I wish you luck

I will add though it all seems boring and I'd much rather be researching something fascinating. I find it almost impossible to concentrate on things that are not exciting and is there a more boring topic than mortgages? I'll probably find some videos to listen to as I do housework.

You say you have made some bad decisions in past and ended up in debt etc, by not researching you could end up in same position or worse again.

Yes it is boring but you need to look into all this so you are content in what you are going to be doing and it's right financially for you.

Yes I do, I wasn't actually saying it was.

I was just throwing something out that wasn't 95% - I had no idea mortgages were 95%, actually I don't know what that means or how they work at all whatsoever.

@ivebeencalledworse

There is not being good at maths and thinking 8000 is 20% of 200,000

I'm quite concerned he is at this point taking advantage of a vulnerable adult. Never met anyone with such little awareness on basic matters, do you have any learning difficulties/support outside of him?

If you are truly that clueless than don’t get a mortgage.

if you don’t understand what a deposit is then taking on considerable debt and assuming a subservient female role on your relationship will just end in tears.

there are basic articles available to explain this. But if you can’t even be bothered to read them and are relying on your husband who seems to have questionable financial intelligence then I strongly recommend you stay put.

I really can’t believe anyone could be this clueless.

I never said that.

So what is 20% of £200k then?

You mean because I'm clueless about mortgages I must be special?

I don't think 8K is 20% of 200K. percentages of decimals of ten are easy, you move the decimal place. I have a degree, I'm clueless about mortgages, that's all. Are you being facetious or was it because you thought I thought 8K was 20% of 200K? I don't.

I am sure you feel attacked at this point but posters are concerned about you because a number of red flags:
MH issues and background of grooming and abuse
Little knowledge of mortgages
A very rosy picture of careers in the financial sector( DH works in it so I know a bit about it).

I mean even if I didn't know there's a tab right there I could just look. You could ask me any maths problem and I'd give you the answer on here, that's not really a test is it. 40,000

When it comes to this I am 100% vulnerable yes. So I appreciate the help.

I am not referring to the percentage thing because that could be an error as often happens when typing fast. But before entering into a mortgage you should know what it is.

Same. I had a friend who had a degree and functioned fine within society, however was very, very naive and gullible to bullshit and bluster from men. So much so that I would class her as vulnerable. One of them even managed to get the £10,000 that had been left to her by her grandfather in his will from her, to start off his 'business' that was going to be a real momeyspinner 🙄

Please, please be careful OP. Perhaps speak to a friend or family member who is a bit more switched on, see what they say.

The person who groomed us got one of us into prostitution, the other into a relationship. He tried it with me but I was only around them to try and protect my friends. We got touched up by a group of men living by me growing up, but I had a lucky escape from most of it. I saw through the second guy, but he had his clutches on my best friends and I didn't want to leave them, so I stayed around.