Birthday meal going a bit wrong, tell me it gets easier

[Pityparty2022]

Me and DH having my birthday meal at home, kids are crying on and off so upping and down the stairs to them. Me and DH don't have family up here to help and the kids won't go to a babysitter so we do our birthday meals at home, fair enough, we have kids. I just wish I could go for some cocktails with some girls or something for my birthday instead of trying to work it all round kids. I have some nice mum friends but that's not their scene and are happy being home in the evenings. Absolutely fair enough, but I'm still wishing to go out, yet I wouldn't be comfortable on my own! Kids are both under 4 so still quite little. Does anyone else get like this?

@Pityparty2022 do your children go to a nursery setting? Most nursery staff offer private babysitting, they know your child, are DBS checked and know children first aid so it makes them a great choice.

Worth an ask if they do. If not, what’s your bedtime routine like? Can you bring it forward on nights like that so you have more time to deal with any issues before you can relax?

My daughter is in bed for 6:45pm meaning by 7pm the evening is ours x

@Greentartanbow thank you, and congratulations!

@AperolWhore my eldest does, two of the girls there do but honestly so expensive. Me and DH get where we are right now and it's OK, I'm just missing the girls night element of life sometimes

We always did a birthday as a family during the day when ours were this young. So go out to something family friendly eg farm park. Then the kids would be shattered and go to bed early and we’d get our evening to enjoy a takeaway or whatever.

We have no family/friends support either and it is tough when they are little but not so bad now they’re older.

For various reasons my birthday is always a bit of a write off from a couple/family perspective due to it coinciding with an annual work event of DH's. He will be out of the house from 6am - 9pm for around 10 days always around that date including weekend days.

For a few years when the kids were small if it was a day I would usually be working I took the day off but left them in their usual childcare. I would go for breakfast somewhere after dropping them off and then go and get my hair cut or something nice like that. A couple of years running did a mini half day spa experience deal type thing where either breakfast or lunch were included.

I don't mind spending time on my own though, actually I loved it when the children were small and very clingy and I was complete touched out. Was just nice to have a few hours with my own thoughts and no one making demands on me.

@Mol1628 ah don't get me wrong, I love my birthday parties with my kids, I as you suggested went to the farm!

@pastabest that sounds good! I'm a sahm at the moment but when the little one goes to school I will definitely be doing this! Sympathy on the husband doing long hours, mine is the same

@Pityparty2022 I think this may be one of the issues. Stop looking for mom friends or you’ll possibly keep running into the same issue. Look for women / people who don’t have kids or their kids are much older and have more free time or are willing to stay out later. People who actually still have hobbies to talk about other than just their kids.