To HATE this comment?!

[GoldLeafGoldHoop]

“Won’t you be hot?”

I don’t like my body. Never have. That’s my issue. So yeah I will still cover my legs.

My friend asked me my outfit for meeting later and that was the comment I got back.

Like I’m severely insecure and she knows I am. It’s not meant in a malicious way I know that. I just don’t like attention drawn to me in that way and it makes me even more self conscious. I’ve had it my entire life and I’m just sick of it.

Surely though if you're all covered up in clothing that is "too hot" for this weather, you'll draw more attention to yourself and possibly get all hot and sweaty and then be worried about smelling?
Maybe your friend is concerned for your comfort more than how you will look?

Get a long floaty dress instead?

You don’t like the fact that she was concerned that you might be too hot?

Why not?

What do you plan to wear? It seems a perfectly valid question if you're saying jeans or opaque tights or a leather jacket or snow suit, for example.

A maxi dress could be a very good thing to wear though.

She wasn’t trying to embarrass you or shame you. It was an innocent remark. However I do get irritated if I have picked an outfit and my dh says something negative.

I know a lot of people who cover up entirely to avoid harmful sun damage, I don't think it would draw more attention to you.
It seems a bit thoughtless of your friend to say that if she knows you well.
Maybe research the dangers of sun damage and remind them all about it next time they ask, that might stop them asking

My husband commented earlier on a woman who was all sweaty looking with a cardigan on and how she must not have realised the heatwave was still on today! I immediately thought "she hates her arms". It definitely draws more attention.

You can cover up with light fabric if you want to protect from the sun beyond sun scream though. Certain fabrics just seem odd in summer; the cardigan the woman had on would be typical winter wear. I have thin ones I wear in summer that wouldn't stand out (as much!) in a heatwave.

Wear what you like. If you prefer to cover up, do it. I just smile and nod when people say it to me.

She was concerned, checking if you wanted to change your mind last minute and wear weather suitable clothing (whilst still being mentally comfortable). She wasn't saying it to be a dick

Just say 'no I'm fine'

Don't make it a big thing

I used to keep my arms covered to hide them and I once fainted in the heat.

I fully understand. I always cover my legs. I don't dislike the way they look but I do dislike having them uncovered. I wear jeans all the time, yes even in 35C it isn't actually that hot and I think it is none of anyone else's business. I think the idea that I'd look strange or stand out just because I have got all my skin on show is ridiculous!

You say it's your issue but then you get annoyed with your friend, for asking a perfectly normal question.

Even if she does know you don't like your body, it's not going to be at the forefront of her mind like it is yours.

Sounds like she was just concerned you’d be uncomfortable. Which I understand. I’m a jeans wearer and this heat has been awful because I hate skirts/shorts etc.

I mean this in the nicest way possible (I actually do) but I think this is an issue in how you feel about yourself, rather than your friend being insensitive.

Hmmm, she might have a very valid point though…What are you wearing?!

Skinny and/or confident people will never understand.

I would sweat to death rather than wear a sleeveless top.

End. OF!!

Well I saw plenty of Greek local women wearing jeans in Greece, so it seems acceptable to cover up in the heat. I think covering your body protects your skin too.

Are you wearing jeans or something?
Get a maxi dress or long skirt!

P.s., I am always nagging my husband to take off his jumper in the heatwaves. He seems to use it as a comfort thing. Last year he wore a winter coat all summer.

It depends what you said you were wearing. If you said you are going to be wearing jeans or leather trousers then it was a reasonable question. If you said you would be in linen trousers or a maxi dress, then I think it was an unnecessary question.

Do something about it then, or seek therapy to work towards a point of self acceptance. No one cares what you look like.

your friend wasn’t being unkind at all- it’s utterly ridiculous and draws more attention to see someone covered up in boiling heat

I do apologise for being blunt- but I’ve been obese and still suffer from lipedema, but I couldn’t imagine covering my legs up on a hot day. Sounds utterly miserable

I think the best response is, ‘thanks, but I have my reasons’.

Only a dick would push it after that, at which point I would deploy spikiness.

(Potential reasons: body image issues, flare-up of skin disease like psoriasis that people stare at, certain medications that act as psoralens, having basal cell carcinoma or other worse skin cancers.)

This actually is a bugbear of mine - I come from a hot country, I also don't feel comfortable in shorts or dresses, so I pretty much live in jeans and trousers, and I don't feel overly hot in them. You can get loose, summer trousers that are as cool to wear as shorts, and cooler than some!

Also coming from a hot country I can tell you, if it's extremely hot plus sunny you don't want walk around with nothing on your arms, legs and head, it'll just make you hotter! I feel like this is the kind of comment I'd get from those bright sparks in my air-conditioned office who think opening the window on a hot day will make them cooler - no, it won't, it will let the cold escape and let the heat in, it's basic physics.

For over twenty years I kept my arms covered whatever the weather or occasion. I refused to be a bridesmaid, I denied myself the pleasure of swimming (which I love), I wore cardigans aged 20 to nightclubs. I sweated and sweltered and fended off endless concerned comments. I cried through heatwaves. For two decades of my life.

I don't know what switched in my head or why. I still have fat upper arms and they don't look great. I have plenty of imperfections everywhere else too. But I wear a bikini and I wear short sleeves and I don't limit my clothes choices to the tyranny of 'what's flattering?' or rather 'what makes me disappear?' I still feel this enormous rush of freedom when I feel the sun on my skin now.

Nothing happened when I ditched the cardigans. No one fainted in horror when I wore shorts on holiday. Except I was comfortable and happy and when I look at photographs of myself I dont look thin but I'm smiling. I swim in the sea and I don't care who looks at me or what they think. I don't exist to be looked at and judged by anyone else. My body works, it's got me this far in life and I won't hate it or hide it or punish it anymore.

I totally understand why you cover up and I know how those comments feel. But I hope you do find peace with your body and these awful feelings lose their hold on you. I wish I hadn't wasted that time hating myself.