To HATE this comment?!

[GoldLeafGoldHoop]

“Won’t you be hot?”

I don’t like my body. Never have. That’s my issue. So yeah I will still cover my legs.

My friend asked me my outfit for meeting later and that was the comment I got back.

Like I’m severely insecure and she knows I am. It’s not meant in a malicious way I know that. I just don’t like attention drawn to me in that way and it makes me even more self conscious. I’ve had it my entire life and I’m just sick of it.

For me the most comfortable option in hot weather is a long cotton skirt. A bit of body so it hangs away from you, and leaves room for air to circulate.

I was stood next to a woman in town today waiting to cross the road. She was nowhere near overweight so I had to assume not trying to cover up. It was almost midday, stood in the direct blazing hot sun and she was wearing black skinny jeans, a plain long sleeved black top and a black BODY WARME.....zipped up!! I have to agree with a PP that wearing "too much" in the heat draws far more attention!

I wasn’t wearing too much, the top part of myself was in a cotton tshirt and I had sandals on. I only had my legs covered up.

To be honest as adults it’s patronising to say to another adult how you would speak to a child. People are well aware of how hot it is and how they will feel.

To be honest as adults it’s patronising to say to another adult how you would speak to a child.

Well yeah, except 'Won't you be hot?' is a perfectly normal question to ask an adult.

This really is down to you and how you feel about yourself, and no-one else.

It really isn't patronising.

I'm assuming you had jeans on? "Won't you be hot"' seems an entirely sensible question, if so.

What a lovely post 💪

Your irritation at this seems massively out of proportion to your friend's comment. I bet she was probably thinking "I'd be hot in that" and made a casual comment to her friend. Like anyone would.

Your poor friend.

I used to wear black leggings and floaty tops in this weather until I discovered maxi dresses. Pregnancy this time in the heatwave meant wearing the leggings was just so uncomfortable so I bought a couple of dresses and have never looked back. I make sure I buy ones that cover the tops of my arms so not sleeveless ones and honestly they are great.

I used for get the same comments as you and it drove me mad too.

You’re coming across as a really angry person. It was an innocent comment borne of concern.
whatever issues you’ve got going on,don’t make them others problem by lashing out over innocent comments.

Poor friend? Bloody hell. Heard it all now on this thread.

I’m an adult and can dress how I like. If people don’t think it’s patronising for another adult to question their clothing choice then I don’t know what else to tell you.

Spoke too soon.

Really getting the typical Mumsnet “angry person” comments. Extremely judgmental and basing such a nasty comment on one brief internet post. Give your head a wobble.

It's not patronising or inappropriate. This is a classic case of seeing things not as they are but as you are.

Wear what you like, swelter how you will, but only you can make any changes regarding your insecurities.

To be honest, I think 'poor friend' sums it up perfectly 😬

You can wear what you want. Your friend has no right to comment. One of my friends feels the cold so always covers up.

I used to be exactly the same and this year discovered SHEIN. I've purchased lots of cheap cool plus size dresses and it's honestly changed my life.

100% draws in more attention, it’s the same as women that wear those swimming costumes with built in skirts. It just screams I’m uncomfortable.

As other PP have said a full length dress would be better and then you wouldn’t get the comments

I get it. If you were wearing booty shorts no one would say “but won’t your arse hang out?” Or if they did they’d be condemned.

That comment implies judgement. "Won't you be hot?" implies concern for the wearer's comfort in a heatwave.

OP it was 33 degrees where I am today and I saw a girl out in a long sleeved black top and jeans and she stuck out more than if she’d have been in a lighter cooler clothes.

I do understand, like @GreenWasTheColour I used to cover my arms and wear cardigans too in the heat as some random man had commented on my ‘fat arms’ it really effected me and took years to undo. But like PP says, when I finally went sleeveless no one cared. It was so freeing. 💐

This:
I swim in the sea and I don't care who looks at me or what they think. I don't exist to be looked at and judged by anyone else. My body works, it's got me this far in life and I won't hate it or hide it or punish it anymore

I suppose it depends what you were planning to wear. I'm not sure I could get worked up about that question but it's clearly touched a nerve for you.

I guess a full ski suit & fur hat might draw attention but there's loads of women in jeans and long wide leg trousers round here.

Wear whatever you like. I doubt she meant much by it.

seeing things not as they are but as you are
This is such a fitting phrase.

I can't take credit, it was Anais Nin. But it's so, so true and this is a prime example.

Yeah I get it OP. I’m wearing leggings today and had this comment from MIL. It did come from a place of concern but I still
find it infuriating.

people who get it, get it. It’s really hard to explain to those who don’t!

I do have long dresses that are great when I really can’t wear trousers but I’m still
hot regardless and today I fancied not having my sweaty legs rubbing together!

So wear what you like. Nobody's demanding that you justify your choices. They're just seeing you wear something that's likely to make you uncomfortable in the circumstances and checking with you over it.