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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My gf says I'm uninstagramable

50 replies

spratch · 13/08/2022 09:44

Sorry for the emotion in this, thanks in advance.

I'm in my 30's and we've been dating since a year before the pandemic happily. We both have called each other telepathic from day 1, neither of us have experienced this so soon before or to this extent. However our lives are different, she is very visual and I'm not so much. Even if I spent everything on operations I'd still be minging which left me feeling out of place. I still love her and she says she loves me, her closest friends know about us but her wider circle doesn't. Before she told me that I was instagramable she posted her and her bf pic, which wasn't of me, it was some other bloke. What it boils down to is she wants him visibly in her life and I'm there for love. I still love her I still feel like my hearts locked onto her and hers me. I haven't been shattered by it because I feel she still loves me but she's doing this. I don't know what this means, we've talked about having a family and almost planned the whole thing without even thinking about it, it's the only thing that's made sense in my life and now I don't know what it is.

OP posts:
mycatisannoying · 13/08/2022 09:45

I couldn't be with someone this shallow.

WindowsSmindows · 13/08/2022 09:46

She's stupid and cruel and shallow and ridiculous.
Break up with her.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 13/08/2022 09:48

What do you mean you call each other telepathic?
if she is embarrassed to post you online she's not the one for you. That's cruel.

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/08/2022 09:48

Life is too short for this shit. She is unkind, shallow and probably cheating. Raise your self esteem and leave. Whatever you look like you can certainly do better than this.

Nicenspicytoo · 13/08/2022 09:48

Sounds like a real catch NOT! Dump her she sounds awful and shallow.

nellytheelephant1980 · 13/08/2022 09:48

This is hideous I literally hate how Instagram rules the lives of so many young people now.

Get rid of her. She's a horrible woman and she is NOT the love of your life, soul mate or anything else

GreenLunchBox · 13/08/2022 09:50

What if you had kids and they weren't 'instagrammable'? You may be willing to overlook this bullshit for yourself but are you willing to ruin your future children?

Run like the wind from this awful creature

Sunnyqueen · 13/08/2022 09:51

wtf. yabu in the sense that you need to develop some self respect and put this girl in the bin. You deserve better.

Mrshook · 13/08/2022 09:51

You deserve better than this shallow, self-centered woman. Dump her.

justasmalltownmum · 13/08/2022 09:51

This can't be real.

IncompleteSenten · 13/08/2022 09:53

This is ridiculous, you know that, right?

spratch · 13/08/2022 09:54

Thank you all. I think I knew this I but I couldn't get my head around it. I didn't know this could happen, there's all this body positivity everywhere and I didn't expect this, last thing I expected from her. Thanks everyone.

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mnahmnah · 13/08/2022 09:55

I was talking to my neighbour about this kind of thing yesterday. He is 26 and looks straight out of Love Island. He has no problems getting dates. But every girl he goes on a date with is obviously trying to look and act Instagrammable and he hates it. He says they’re obsessed with that whole appearance is everything approach, putting everything on there etc. The whole thing is a sad reflection of society today and I really feel for you that your gf thinks Instagram os more important than the kind of bf you are to her. I would find someone who does care about who you are and not what you look like.

PaniniHead · 13/08/2022 09:56

She doesn’t love you.
Let me guess, you pay for near enough everything? Buy her expensive gifts? Dote on her more than she does on you?

NotASecret · 13/08/2022 09:57

Is this your first serious relationship? It really shouldn't be like this. If you've been dating since a year before the pandemic that's, what, three years of feeling 'telepathically' connected to someone who doesn't want to

xJoyfulCalmWisdomx · 13/08/2022 09:58

Get turned off by this shallowness.

She needs a good looking boyfriend to publicly validate her?

That is very shallow.

Mind you, the fact that you're not already out of there makes me gently ask if you put up with a lot more from a very pretty girl than you would from a more ordinary looking girl?

I'd tell her very briefly that being hidden away is not for you. You need to move on.

You know you can connect. You will connect again. And the two of you will be happy to be public about that.

NotASecret · 13/08/2022 09:59

Oops, stupid dog posted for me.

... someone who puts Instagram 'approval' over your feelings? And as pp said, what if your children aren't up to snuff either? Will she only post photos of the back of their heads?

FourTeaFallOut · 13/08/2022 10:01

Instagrammable? Nobody who loves you would rate your worth against your value on Instagram.

spratch · 13/08/2022 10:04

Sorry I couldn't add messages to each post -

If I'm honest she's not even that pretty, I've dated prettier girls. I genuinely didn't see this coming, so much for telepathy. I've only dated 6 times in my life, the longest before this was a year, so this was long for me. Also she earns more than me actually.

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FourTeaFallOut · 13/08/2022 10:05

If I'm honest she's not even that pretty, I've dated prettier girls

Oh good god. 🙄

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/08/2022 10:07

If this is real she sounds awful and you sound very insecure

PonyPatter44 · 13/08/2022 10:11

Now you're just lashing out. Have some dignity. End things with this silly shallow woman, take some time to reflect on why you accepted being treated like that, and move on. Stop believing in rubbish like telepathy and start believing in actual communication.

NaughtyDaddyPig · 13/08/2022 10:11

PaniniHead · 13/08/2022 09:56

She doesn’t love you.
Let me guess, you pay for near enough everything? Buy her expensive gifts? Dote on her more than she does on you?

Yes this.
Do you pay for lots of things? I wonder how many others she has this telepathy with. That's not her ex. You're one of her targets/clients/cash cows.

spratch · 13/08/2022 10:15

"If I'm honest she's not even that pretty, I've dated prettier girls
Oh good god. 🙄"

I didn't mean it like that... She is pretty but I have dated two girls that were called prettier.

Thanks for the replies. Stopped me tipping over into insanity.

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ManateeFair · 13/08/2022 10:15

You’re in your 30s? You and girlfriend both sound about 14. This is not a normal adult relationship.