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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband quiet and withdrawn with me but not others

54 replies

mummybear1994 · 12/08/2022 16:02

Hi,
My partner/hubby to be is being really quiet with me and withdrawn. Struggling to make conversation with me, not smiling when talking to me. We had a date night this week and that's when I really noticed it. He was laughing and chatting the night before so I have no idea what's changed since then. He didn't seem himself first thing before work on Wednesday and when he came home it was like he couldn't be bothered and was pissed off. He said nothing was wrong. I felt like I was imagining things.
This has now continued yesterday and today. He is chatting with the builders we have here and laughing and joking but he is staying withdrawn from me: no smiling, no laughter and not making conversation at all. I have been out with the kids today and had a great time but not once has he asked about our day. He is still in his mood. I feel like I am going insane. My daughter has just commented on his mood to me, as I hadn't mentioned anything to the kids. So it isn't just me that gets a bad vibe.
What should I do? Just keep ignoring it, as asking him what's up has got me no where!

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 15/08/2022 16:52

Maybe if you take time to be a mother and independent of men you will get some perspective on men or at the very least not go overboard in financially and emotionally investing in them until they genuinely prove themselves.

I’m not kicking you when down but this is exceptionally good advice.

Twawmyarse · 15/08/2022 16:54

He's having an affair and/or wants to leave you but he wants you to be the one to end things so he can look like the victim.

That would be my guess.

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 15/08/2022 16:56

Oh OP this is such sad reading. I really identify with your post wishing he’d just hit you - I felt like this with my ex! A bruise would have healed faster. My ex loved the silent treatment to torture me while I tied myself up in knots wondering what I had done wrong and how to fix it.

Eventually, I stopped wondering and left. Do you feel emotionally capable to walk away?

Twawmyarse · 15/08/2022 16:59

Just skimmed through the posts on your other thread. Just leave him fgs - he's absolutely vile and has already had at least one affair.

What are you waiting for OP? Life too short to be in constant torture like this x

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