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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask guests to remove bed sheets on last day of stay?

144 replies

Moobear22 · 11/08/2022 12:05

DH family stay over from time to time.
they never remove sheets.
we work full time. Who do they think removes the bed sheets?
to be fair to them, whenever I have stayed at PIL house they insist we leave the beds without stripping sheets when we go.
i don’t have time for excess housework and was always taught to strip bedsheets as a guest.
how do I ask politely for them to strip bed? I want to be welcoming and not rude.

OP posts:
Ohdearnotagain76 · 11/08/2022 12:07

Just say oh can you bring bedding down so I can pop in machine, thanks.

Cuck00soup · 11/08/2022 12:08

I think if you have guests you do the sheets and working full time isn't a reason not to. It's nice if your guests offer, but if I was asked it would make me feel a bit unwelcome.

WombatStewForTea · 11/08/2022 12:08

I mean stripping the bed literally takes 5 mins is it really that much extra hassle compared to everything else that comes with having guests.

Next time they come leave the beds unmade with the sheets for them. Then when you have to strip the beds you've gained the time back

Onandupw · 11/08/2022 12:08

Just ask them?

Nekomata · 11/08/2022 12:08

I don’t think it’s necessarily polite to strip beds. It depends on the household.

If you want to ask them, just ask them. It’s not like it takes a long time to do.

MrsOwainGlyndŵr · 11/08/2022 12:09

If it's just a short stay I leave the sheets on until the next time they come.

toastofthetown · 11/08/2022 12:12

You’re not unreasonable to ask, but they aren’t unreasonable to assume they should do it either. I wasn’t taught to strip bedsheets as a guest, and unless asked, I wouldn’t do it (though would have no problem if asked). Some friends of mine don’t like guests to strip the bed for them, as they’d rather the room looked tidier while they got around to washing bedsheets. Though if you genuinely don’t have the time for the excess housework of stripping a bed, then you probably don’t have time to hosts guests either.

asnoot · 11/08/2022 12:12

It's not unreasonable for you to ask them to strip beds, but it's unreasonable to expect it without you asking. It's not something I've ever done or had a guest do. It's not an arduous task and is surely the quickest part of the bed washing/changing routine so wouldn't occur to me that I'd be helping much by stripping the bed.

KweenCnut · 11/08/2022 12:12

Stripping a bed takes what, 60 seconds?

PleasantBirthday · 11/08/2022 12:15

I've never stripped bedsheets as a guest - I'd feel like that was going through someone's presses and helping yourself. If you find it such a taxing chore though, maybe your DH could do it or decide whether to ask his parents?

Original poster
Moobear22 · 11/08/2022 12:18

PleasantBirthday · 11/08/2022 12:15

I've never stripped bedsheets as a guest - I'd feel like that was going through someone's presses and helping yourself. If you find it such a taxing chore though, maybe your DH could do it or decide whether to ask his parents?

i tried this tactic when his sister stayed. It took a fortnight for him to get around to it!

OP posts:
10HailMarys · 11/08/2022 12:19

I wouldn't strip the sheets off a bed unless someone asked me. If they haven't got other visitors coming, they might not be planning to wash them the moment I leave. Every person I've ever had come to stay at my house, whether that's family or friends, has just made the bed neatly before they left, or folded the duvet down to air it. That seems pretty normal to me. I mean, it takes me or DP about 90 seconds to take a duvet cover, sheet and pillowcases off my spare bed when we're ready to wash the sheets; I don't think that's difficult to fit around our full-time jobs Hmm

However, unless you have a weirdly formal relationship with your in-laws I don't why it would be an issue just to say 'Oh, can you do me a favour and strip the sheets off the bed before you go tomorrow? Then I can chuck them straight in the machine when we get home from work.' To me, that seems like a totally normal conversation to have with family. If I wanted my MIL to strip the bed when she comes to say, I'd happily just ask her, and I'm sure she'd ask us to do the same at her house if she was bothered. She's certainly said things like 'If you have breakfast before you go when I'm not here tomorrow, just pop the plates in the dishwasher for me, would you?' and so on; I'd never think that was unwelcoming!

pastaandpesto · 11/08/2022 12:19

I think asking guests to strip beds is weird. You wouldn't hand them the Dyson and a can of Pledge and ask them to hoover and polish, would you?

Personally I also prefer to leave guest bedding in place until it is a convenient time to wash it - otherwise you are stuck with a messy unmade bed and a pile of sheets with nowhere to put them.

ShirleyPhallus · 11/08/2022 12:21

Who do they think removed the bedsheets?

Ummm, you, given it’s your house?! I think if they don’t expect you to do it at theirs it’s fair they don’t do it at yours

JimmyShoo · 11/08/2022 12:23

I would never ask house guests to strip a bed. I often do it if I’m in holiday accommodation but would never do it in someone’s home.

onelittlefrog · 11/08/2022 12:25

It's unreasonale to expect them to do this if you haven't expressed a preference.

I wouldn't do it automatically. I have a friend I stay with regularly and know she likes it done and I have no problem doing it, but I wouldn't presume - some people prefer it left as is until they get round to the washing.

You should just ask them to do it if you want them to. I honeslty can't see anyone being offended at being asked to do a 1 minute job (I also can't really see why you are making a fuss about it - it's a 1 minute job!)

Don't be annoyed at them for not reading your mind.

Rowen32 · 11/08/2022 12:27

I would never ask guests to strip the beds!

stuntbubbles · 11/08/2022 12:27

I don’t strip bedsheets when I’m at my parents’ house because, as my mother says, “Well now it looks a mess and we’ll have to wash them, I was going to wait until the weekend” or whatever.

Takes 60 seconds to strip a bed so the guests can hardly save you much effort there, it’s the washing, hanging out and putting away that takes time and they’re hardly going to do that. Unless your full-time jobs are 168 hours a week I feel you have 60 seconds to spare.

BeanieTeen · 11/08/2022 12:30

I’ve never stripped the bedding at someone else’s house. Guests have never done it at ours either.
If I wanted them to, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. If I got asked I’d happily do it. There you go.
Non-issue if there ever was one - just ask them. ‘Problem’ solved. What a faff over nothing, who has the head space for this??

CalistoNoSolo · 11/08/2022 12:30

I would never expect a house guest to strip the bed and I work full time and am a single parent. It literally takes 5 mins. Leave it to your husband if you dont want to do it, but leave him to do it, don't make up a timescale in your head. My guest room bed gets stripped ready for the next guest if I don't have time/feel like it before and that could be two months later.

girlmom21 · 11/08/2022 12:32

I think you're being a bit ridiculous. It's not exactly a taxing chore.

But I do think it's strange they explicitly tell you not to, as they know it's a rational thing to do, but then don't do it themselves.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 11/08/2022 12:32

I would only do it if asked as I wouldn't expect someone to do it in my home. It only takes 2 minutes.
Just ask them. It's no big deal.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 11/08/2022 12:32

I think it would be really strange to expect/ask them to do it. It's such an odd thing to be getting yourself worked up about.

BeanieTeen · 11/08/2022 12:33

i don’t have time for excess housework and was always taught to strip bedsheets as a guest.

How is stripping a bed extra housework?? It takes literally 30 seconds.

SizzlerFizzler · 11/08/2022 12:34

I've never stripped a bed after staying in someone else's house. Happy to do it but I need to be asked. Just wouldn't occur to me to do it because I'd never ask a guest of mine to do it.