To go and do something with just my DC?

[Whataboringsummerholidays]

So far the summer holidays have been rubbish for my DC.

DH has DSC (two of them, age 10 and 11) twice as much which is great in itself but has ended up negatively impacting my DC. Let me explain.

DSC1 has a summer break club she attends every week day, one week on one week off. It runs from 10am until 3pm. On the one occasion we took 11yo DSS and the younger ones (toddler and baby) to soft play and for lunch during the hours she was at her club when she found out we'd gone without her she kicked off and cried.

Cue DH then deciding that to avoid further upset we would just sit around indoors until 3pm when she finished before we did anything from then onwards which is shit because we don't even have a garden.

My 3yo is very rambunctious and loves to be outside.

Any activity we then do is tailored to the older older children which my 3 year old does her best to join in with but can't really, and the poor baby is stuck in the pram or sitting on my lap. I'm starting to feel really guilty that I'm not doing anything enriching for him. The other half of the time DSC don't even want to go out.

WIBU to just go off with my two today and do something for/with them? DH will be miffed as he wants us all together and I don't suppose it'll go down well with DSC but I'm bored shirtless and feel sorry for my DC who barely get a look in.

@Whataboringsummerholidays anything that might help stop him in his tracks before he poisons his relationships with and between his children, not to mention his marriage, is worth a try IMO.

Keep taking your DC out when you want and doing what you want with them. Do not be told when and where you can take your own children. If DSS would like to come too then that's up to him. If DSD is at her club, then obviously she can't come. Don't pander to DSS and your DH. If DSD 'finds out' what you've been up to then so be it. It's life. She can't be in two places at once.

@Whataboringsummerholidays

why not just go out?

And whatever you do - do not put his daughter on a pedestal like the other two adults in her life!

little do they realise how they are damaging the relationships in the family!

no doubt everyone is seething with resentment at her special treatment!

and if your dp is that hooked up on his kids please remind him he has four not two and they should all be treat equally and fairly!!!

This is batshit!!
Please tell me you took your dc out today?
My youngest is 6 and goes to a summer camp while I'm at work, on my day off she either doesn't go or if she wants to go she goes and I do something with my older kids.
My day off tomorrow dd isn't going to summer camp and we're all going to the seaside for the day

Heya lovely,

If dad is at home and "family time" doesn't start till the eldest is picked up from club, then take yourself off to do other things (outside of the home) and let your oh know you will be back for family time.

I'm sure you've got lots to be cracking on with, no point you both being at home doing nothing. And it's not like you'll be missing out on family time as it's clear that's being paused till the afternoon.

Xx

PS make sure you leave early with the baby to get them to sleep in good time.

I'm sure he can manage without you.

I took the kids out, we went to the paddling pool / sandpit / a walk around a country park. It was lovely! :)

I'm so pleased that you went out with your children and you all had a lovely day. You can do that every day now!

How ridiculous to let one child having a tantrum spoil the holidays for all the other children and the adults, especially as she goes to her own holiday club.

It looks as though the Dad has taught the tantrum child all he knows in the way of sulking and using emotional blackmail to get their own way.

Have a great fun filled summer @Whataboringsummerholidays !

How did you manage to end up with such a dick and have kids with him? Until I joined mumsnet I honestly didn’t know this is how people live.

OP if you don’t establish long term changes now your children will always be in the shadows. It is worrying that you had to have the affirmation of total strangers to realise your husband’s behaviour is batshit crazy.