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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be hiding in my hotel room to avoid a fellow guest?

48 replies

prepared101 · 10/08/2022 22:13

Am away on Holiday at the moment with family but not DH- he stayed home to look after pets.

Kids have made friends with another family's kids while we've been here so have been chatting with the parents in the evenings and by the pool. They live fairly locally and fly home the following day to us.

Last night the husband asked me if he could have my number. It wasn't a platonic request. I said no, that I was happily married and didn't think it was appropriate especially given his wife was 10 foot away (not that it would have changed my mind obviously!). He seemed totally nonplussed.

Tonight I took the kids out and then we came back to the hotel room because I feel really uncomfortable around him but equally know his wife will pull up a table if we were there. I have another 3 nights- how do I not spend the next three nights holed up because of some would-be-cheating arse?

I don't want to tell my husband- he's already annoyed I'm away without him and this would just be the nail in the coffin!

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 10/08/2022 22:15

Make moves to avoid them and if the wife asks why tell her to ask her husband.

StoneofDestiny · 10/08/2022 22:20

Ear plugs in and tell them you are listening to a book.

FlissyPaps · 10/08/2022 22:22

Why is your husband annoyed? If he wanted to go on holiday could you both not sort out kennels/cattery/etc. for the pets???

Regarding the creepy cheater, just stay away from them. You don’t have to engage in conversation with them.

Jobsharenightmare · 10/08/2022 22:27

How local do they live? Sometimes these kinds of scenarios seem to cause drama that can come home. If they're not likely to be in the same town I'd tell his wife why if she asks why you've been busy/sat elsewhere etc.

NewMoney1000000 · 10/08/2022 22:30

Sit where you want and get your book out if they come over, if the bloke asks you for your number again call him out on it.

MeridasMum · 10/08/2022 22:37

I'd tell her! It might not be taken well but you'll never see them again so why put yourself through this discomfort to protect him/her?

Enjoy your holiday and get them to fuck!

Enough4me · 10/08/2022 22:44

I'd probably get some entertainment out of it and make him think about his behaviour. I'd talk about my friend who's devasted her husband cheats on her and watch his reaction.
Or I would bore them rigid until they leave you alone, pick something you like to talk about repetitively and they'll soon move on. Describe in minute detail how to do something... draw, knit, crochet, make a cake.

Velvian · 10/08/2022 22:46

Can you swap with your DH for the 2nd half of the trip? A bit extreme I know, but might kill 2 birds with 1 stone and it's always nice to have time on your own at home.

Your DH would have no right to be annoyed with you at a creepy bloke coming on to you, even if he's annoyed about something else.

Dexionmagic · 10/08/2022 23:05

He’ll ask again. Give him a wrong one on the last day. An amusing one.

EmergencyHepNeeded · 10/08/2022 23:11

I think you should give him your husband's number.

AcrossthePond55 · 11/08/2022 00:08

I wouldn't 'avoid him', per se. Just because he's an asshole doesn't mean I should curtail my enjoyment in any way. I'd avoid being alone with him, but I certainly wouldn't avoid doing the things I want to do or places I want to go. If his wife pulls up a table, so be it. Put your towel/bag on the chair next to you so he can't sit there, then chat to her, freeze him out. Let her wonder why.

If he approached me again, I'd embarrass him by loudly saying "Jim, I told you before that I am happily married. Stop asking for my phone number or I will tell your wife".

howshouldibehave · 11/08/2022 00:16

How do you know he wanted your number for a non-platonic reason? Could he have just been wanting the two families to meet up?

If he was non-plussed by your response, doesn’t that suggests he didn’t mean it romantically?

Original poster
prepared101 · 11/08/2022 09:25

I've sat on the opposite side of the pool today. Kids are still playing but have taken the advice to bury my head in a book. Not really feasible to swap with my husband- I'm in another country and I would rather hide for three days than spend £££ on additional flights.

OP posts:
Original poster
prepared101 · 11/08/2022 09:26

howshouldibehave · 11/08/2022 00:16

How do you know he wanted your number for a non-platonic reason? Could he have just been wanting the two families to meet up?

If he was non-plussed by your response, doesn’t that suggests he didn’t mean it romantically?

Because I'm not an idiot and it was clearly not a platonic request. Confused

He actually said "if you fancy doing this again as a two when we're home I'll be the first to ask for your number"

OP posts:
Soproudoflionesses · 11/08/2022 09:28

What an absolute cocktail.
I bet this isn't the first time he has done this.

TheNoodlesIncident · 11/08/2022 09:36

Your response was direct and clear, so I'd be surprised if he persisted, knowing he'll get knocked back again. Plus there's the possibility that you'd be annoyed enough to mention it to his wife.

I'd just carry on as usual and ignore him as much as possible without being uncivil. Don't hide away, it's your holiday that will be tarnished by that, not his!

CaptainMyCaptain · 11/08/2022 09:38

howshouldibehave · 11/08/2022 00:16

How do you know he wanted your number for a non-platonic reason? Could he have just been wanting the two families to meet up?

If he was non-plussed by your response, doesn’t that suggests he didn’t mean it romantically?

That was my thought but maybe the wife should have asked in that case.

CaptainMyCaptain · 11/08/2022 09:39

prepared101 · 11/08/2022 09:26

Because I'm not an idiot and it was clearly not a platonic request. Confused

He actually said "if you fancy doing this again as a two when we're home I'll be the first to ask for your number"

Show quote history

That does change things.

LyndaLaHughes · 11/08/2022 09:42

Surely now you've knocked him back he won't want to sit with you either? What a sleaze.

Angip3 · 11/08/2022 09:43

Cozy up to his wife while he's in earshot and say ... " oh I'm so glad to have another woman here to talk to, some sleazy scumbag keeps trying to get my number off me, "

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 11/08/2022 10:54

You've done nothing wrong so don't hide out in your room. If anything he should be avoiding you. Do whatever you want, and if they approach but polite and cordial to the wife, but ignore him.

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 11/08/2022 10:55

be polite and cordial

Goldbar · 11/08/2022 11:07

EmergencyHepNeeded · 10/08/2022 23:11

I think you should give him your husband's number.

😂

PegasusReturns · 11/08/2022 11:17

@howshouldibehave nonplussed doesn’t mean what you think it does.

Although it seems possible that everyone is using the word incorrectly on this thread!

OP what did he actually do in response? If he was in fact confused by your refusal then perhaps you need to be crystal clear with him that you are in no way interested.

Certainly don’t let him ruin your holiday

howshouldibehave · 11/08/2022 11:20

nonplussed doesn’t mean what you think it does.

I thought it meant confused/baffled?!