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AIBU?

To say that to have 2 or more kids you need to have a great relationship, a good support network, and (relatively) 'easy' kids?

105 replies

Greenginghamdress · 09/08/2022 22:12

...Or all three!

I have none of the above unfortunately. I'm doing lots of soul searching about whether to have a 2nd child or not (I have one DD of 4). I'm scared of regretting not when I am too old.
I have read a lot of mumsnet threads! Such a hard decision.
Relationship has struggled since DD and my partner is lazy. My family aren't interested in DD much at all (my partners are but we've had difficulties with falling out etc) and DD is a constantly on the go child who doesn't sleep much.
I can't rid of the nagging broody feeling though!
People ask me about it all the time; colleagues, friends, acquaintances, my boss! It's hard to know what to say. I go from really wanting another baby to a definite no 3 or 4 times a day! ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ˜‚
Feel free to offer any words of advice; MNetters.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/08/2022 18:03

I have two kids, marriage ended due in large part to his laziness (although also EA), and no family local.

I would say the flip from getting no help with one child to getting no help with the second child was a big part of what ended it. We both worked full time, so having to juggling a sleep refusing baby/ toddler whilst trying to settle an infant school aged child, with lazy arse EXH just sat downstairs relaxing was too much. I might have struggled through if it was just one.

However I donโ€™t think that would have been a good decision! Iโ€™m much happier having two kids and being a single Mum than I would have been with one child (amazing as she is) and still married to a twat. The marriage to the twat being the problem.

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Pumperthepumper · 10/08/2022 18:13

How can he be a great dad if heโ€™s lazy and doesnโ€™t get up in the nights? What does he do that makes him great?

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SpilltheTea · 10/08/2022 18:32

He's not a great Dad, he's lazy and a selfish dick. If you're happy to do it all by yourself, go ahead.

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LearnedAxolotl · 10/08/2022 19:22

Anyone can be a great dad if they don't actually do any parenting.

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longcoffeebreak · 10/08/2022 22:13

I had a second in similar circs and the second child is quite majorly autistic so no company for the older one and it has been really really hard and still is. I had to leave their dad when they were both under three.

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