Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:
MangoBiscuit · 10/08/2022 08:09

Oh ffs. Not only is the Sun utter shite, and can barely report their own stories, but now they're ruining other peoples.

Fuck off you cheapskate journos!😡

Scabetty · 10/08/2022 08:14

You handled it well. I would have caused more friction by saying something like you’re not important to me but then I hate arrogance and entitlement. Working on my triggers 😳😁

JenniferAlisonPhilipaSue · 10/08/2022 08:18

aw come on OP, you need to at least tell us how it went between your DH and neighbour, if they did have a chat.

Newmindset2022 · 10/08/2022 08:19

As someone who works from home and has done for 8 years, I wish I could tell my neighbours to shut up some days but it’s not their fault I’m lucky enough to be able to work from
home… The key word being Home! It’s your home, your garden, therefore your children have as much right as he does to be there making noise

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 10/08/2022 08:42

I think your response was perfect.

Stand your ground.

EnglishPearFreesia · 10/08/2022 08:43

😆 🤣 😂 I would have told him to eff off. Cheek. Arrogance is the word I'd use and as soon as a man starts to 'mansplain' to me (everyday) I switch off. Nicely played OP.

Transformatio · 10/08/2022 08:53

I doubt he will be identified from what you've said OP. There will be thousands of these types up and down the country.

You handled it brilliantly. Pity for all his importance he hasn't worked out the very basics of headsets. You absolutely should not be able to hear what he colleagues are saying!

balalake · 10/08/2022 09:11

Regarding the 'newspaper' taking the story from here. Should there not be a fee, or perhaps a donation to charity?

KatherineJaneway · 10/08/2022 09:14

Narwhalsh · 09/08/2022 19:18

He can negotiate a headset from his company I’m sure if he can’t afford to buy one himself

Am sure he could but it would mess up his Very Important Hair 😃

Everanewbie · 10/08/2022 09:15

As long as your children aren't screaming the place down in excess of "normal" noise, then yours, and your children's rights to enjoy your own property are no less important than his big shot meetings. I'd be tempted to repeat back everything said in the big important meetings like an echo.

I'm not sure his big shot important stakeholders would be thrilled about having their information discussed more or less from a megaphone in the middle of the street.

I hate these big shouty look at me-i'm important people. No one cares other than you. We're all cookies in the cookie jar just trying to get by,.

Maisa45 · 10/08/2022 09:20

I'm generally pretty intolerant of noise from kids (I know, I'm a grumpy bitch) but from what you've written YANBU. Your kids are allowed to chat in their own garden. I could understand his annoyance if they were screaming (I had to complain to my NDNs during lockdown as their kid was screeching on her trampoline from 9am every morning while I was WFH) but he can't expect you to never use your garden. Shame Mr Big Shot didn't have the foresight to consider this when he moved his working space next to your Garden.

Pushmepullu · 10/08/2022 09:25

A few years ago when my Head of Service was doing jury service that lasted 3 months, no one missed him (work wise) but when the office junior got chicken pox and was off for 3 weeks the whole section nearly fell to pieces. The moral of this tale: that very important people doing very important jobs are dispensable. Lowly people doing lowly jobs are missed. Tell that to Mr VIP/twat.
Let us know what OH said. BTW I’m in Scotland next week, I can pop in for a tea, I have a very loud voice!

LunaTheCat · 10/08/2022 09:32

I think your family should develop a sudden need for music ? Bagpipes ? Drums ? Some violin lessons.

Handyweatherstation · 10/08/2022 09:33

I'm generally pretty intolerant of noise from kids

I was too, until last year when we went camping and kids were thundering about the site shrieking from 8.30 in the morning until about 8pm. Then the penny dropped, they're being kids, doing what kids are supposed to do and I was glad they were running about exercising their limbs and lungs, rather than sitting glued to devices. Same with the OP's kids, they're doing what young humans are meant to do.

Knitwit101 · 10/08/2022 09:35

Well the update wouldn't be worth reporting in the papers anyway, he didn't come back last night.

Dh is having a tricky time with his dad right now and is really not in the mood for neighbour nonsense so he just rolled his eyes and said "f*ing knob. I'll give him the crux of the matter if he comes round here tonight." So we're on the same page about that.

Neighbour doesn't seem to be at his window yet but his massive bank of computer screens are still there. We're going out to a friend most of the day so there won't be any further drama today.

OP posts:
KonTikki · 10/08/2022 09:36

I doubt that the VERY IMPORTANT MAN with his VERY IMPORTANT WORK reads the Sun.
More likely to read the Daily Mail, like all the other VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE.

DonnaBanana · 10/08/2022 09:37

“How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.”

Become one of those high street charity collectors. They have that attitude in spades. Or be an old person who doesn’t like people parking outside their house..

JubileeTrifle · 10/08/2022 09:40

Thing is, it’s very important is very important to him. Not to you.
I generally find men who talk like that the important job isn’t that important anyway, it’s usually just business.

I might increase my noise slightly and when he complains I would just say this is the way we always use our garden in the summer. You won’t have noticed as you weren’t working there.

REP22 · 10/08/2022 09:41

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 18:30

You have made "The Sun"OP

You're joking? Well that's one way to solve the issue, if he reads it.

I'm not writing anything else on here then. Sorry everyone. I should have thought of that, I don't want to get the guy identified or in any kind of trouble.

That's really rounded my day off nicely. Not.

That's the third one in recent days to end up in The Currant Bun. (the other 2 were "2 year old having shellac" and the one about an adult son wanting to move back in with parents Mon - Fri because his newborn baby was keeping him awake). I expect there were more.

Is that what journalism is these days? Copying and pasting from internet forums and making money from adverts/copy? Or are they work-experience students filing easy content? I know we have to be careful what we say online, but it's a bit grim that requests for support and advice on a forum can end up in the national press. What if there are compromising personal details or defamatory comments? I can't recall if, when signing up to use the MN Forum, there's a disclaimer saying 'careful what you post; it might end up in the national dailies'... 😟

DorisWallis · 10/08/2022 09:50

I think there is @REP22 , I remember reading something like that when I signed up
says something about the standard of jornos now though

pinklillie · 10/08/2022 09:50

GCAcademic · 09/08/2022 14:41

I work from home and use headphones and close my window if it's noisy outside. If his job is so important, he needs to find appropriate space in which to undertake it.

Same here. I would never dream of speaking to my neighbours like that! how rude. you did very well to stand your ground OP!

SNkidMarriageCrisis · 10/08/2022 10:02

Knitwit101 · 10/08/2022 09:35

Well the update wouldn't be worth reporting in the papers anyway, he didn't come back last night.

Dh is having a tricky time with his dad right now and is really not in the mood for neighbour nonsense so he just rolled his eyes and said "f*ing knob. I'll give him the crux of the matter if he comes round here tonight." So we're on the same page about that.

Neighbour doesn't seem to be at his window yet but his massive bank of computer screens are still there. We're going out to a friend most of the day so there won't be any further drama today.

Quelle surprise. I doubted very much he'd be round to speak 'man-to-man' as he would undoubtedly realise he'd get a 'jog on' response. Sounds like he is used to throwing his weight around and misguidedly thought you'd be so in awe of his Very Important Job that you apologise and comply immediately. Twat.

ihavespoken · 10/08/2022 10:06

billybear · 09/08/2022 19:20

we had neighbours who complained a disabled neighbour took too long to mow his lawn,she told him it was a small lawn should be done in 5 minutes,he too a lot long had to keep stopping due to him being disabled having a rest,next weekend 10 neighbours mowed their lawns stagging over 2 hours reving the mowers up.one came in his garden and sanded wooden doors for 2 hours singing loudly to his radio in a terrible,think she got the hint never complained again,GOOD FOR YOU CARRY ON IN YOUR GARDEN

This is brilliant!

crowsfeet57 · 10/08/2022 10:06

Or be an old person who doesn’t like people parking outside their house

That's me! I don't think I'm arrogant although tbh I only get annoyed when people park across my drive so I can't get in or out!

LindaEllen · 10/08/2022 10:10

Mustardbay · 09/08/2022 14:40

I think you need to start some Very Important drum lessons

Or.. I'm in a brass band, and sometimes we rehearse outside when the weather is nice (the locals love it and come and bring deckchairs outside).

We could use OP's garden as our rehearsal space!