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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish that people didn’t value others only for their worth in terms of salary earned?

36 replies

Onceuponatimeinalandfaraway · 08/08/2022 22:08

There is so much diversity in society and so much judgement even without knowing circumstances.

the single person not working may have severe mental health issues and needs the stability of benefits without the stress of working to manage to keep alive but they’re worthless to society and should be ashamed for being “career claimants expecting others to support even”

the single mother with four or five kids may have eventually managed to get away from an abusive partner but she’s scum for expecting tax payers to look after her and shouldn’t have had so many children. Maybe the partner refused to let her take contraception, maybe threatened to kill her if she aborted or used the coil or other contraception she’d have been in control of. Or worse maybe threatened to kill or hurt her first child if she used contraception or didn’t let him rape her when he wanted. But she’s scum because you all the judgemental people she’s now a single mother in a cramped house waiting for the council to find her a bigger property and claiming benefits to support her children.

or the single mother with three kids whose partner died and left her a widow, dealing with grief and kids grief and trying to raise her kids and thus needing help. But she’s scum too because she shouldn’t be expecting me tax payers to help support her kids and should work two jobs around childcare.

what about the nurse having to use a food bank because she’s not paid a living wage? Or anyone on anything below a proper living wage, which is a lot of families, often two working parent families, but they’re scum too for needing help?

where is the judgement of the companies paying billions in bonuses to share holders while the tax payers prop their employees wages up?

where is the outrage about the government not preventing profiteering?

no? The outrage and judgement is only aimed at those beneath you on the class scale?

divide And rule, look down on, scorn and prosper. Victorian Britain is returning, it won’t be many years before workhouses are back at this rate! The poor and unlucky made to work as slaves to pay for any assistance they can get. It’s not even long, only a couple of decades, since the last of the workhouse type homes closed in not too distant towns and countries. People have very short memories, privileged people even shorter memories!

OP posts:
Fairyliz · 19/08/2022 16:34

Back in the real world most of us are just getting on with our own life’s and don’t have the time, energy or interest to worry about what other people are doing.

AntlerRose · 19/08/2022 16:41

I regularly have people saying how expensive it is to educate children with special needs and how they wont pay it back by earning so basically we shouldnt bother. Its very eye opening what people think a human soul is worth if it cant generate income.

SundayTeatime · 19/08/2022 16:44

lots of people don’t seem to plan sensibly. They just drift through life like a rudderless ship

And why do you think that may be? Have you considered that they may not be able to “plan sensibly”, for many reasons? Psychology, emotions, IQ, upbringing, circumstances etc may stop many people being able to plan anything much at all. Life is very difficult for many people.

Oblomov22 · 19/08/2022 16:58

@SundayTeatime
It they can't plan sensibly, then they probably shouldn't be having 4 or 5 kids, should they!

I too don't think MH, or abusive relationships are the main culprit. They arent all victims of abuse.

SundayTeatime · 19/08/2022 17:04

Oblomov22 · 19/08/2022 16:58

@SundayTeatime
It they can't plan sensibly, then they probably shouldn't be having 4 or 5 kids, should they!

I too don't think MH, or abusive relationships are the main culprit. They arent all victims of abuse.

That’s half the point, though. Some people can’t plan sensibly - for whatever reason - so they may end up having several kids, because they think it’s a good idea at the time.

Trying9877 · 19/08/2022 17:41

It really isn't as simple as "They should be more sensible". If it was, I really think a lot of our social problems would be resolved already. There is growing research on the long term affects of ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences) on behaviour/health in adulthood. It's quite sobering actually. If you have a high ACES score your life expectancy can be reduced by up to 20 years. Peoples background and experience make a difference, if you look at family systems theory it can be enlightening in realising the types of patterns that can determine lifestyle/outcomes (I don't necessarily agree with all of it but it makes you think). There's quite a lot of information out there about the affects of trauma. I think everything I have learned has turned my opinions around. It hasn't made me feel very positive, but it is a lot better than ignorance (for me).

notanothertakeaway · 19/08/2022 17:57

OP (who has disappeared) claimed that we still had workhouses until 20 years ago. I'd be interested to see the source for that info

WhereYouLeftIt · 19/08/2022 20:43

notanothertakeaway · 19/08/2022 17:57

OP (who has disappeared) claimed that we still had workhouses until 20 years ago. I'd be interested to see the source for that info

Didn't the last Magdalen laundry close in the late 1990s?

Badhairday101 · 19/08/2022 21:10

I don’t know many people who judge others on their income or life circumstances. I’m in a job that cares for others and deals with social issues first hand everyday, I must just be mixing in the right circles.

I also don’t really judge the judgemental people. They are heavily influenced by the media who publish a constant narrative about the ‘underclass’ being like characters from Shameless. They don’t have any first hand experience of needing to claim benefits and how hard living that life is. I think the judgement is probably down to ignorance more than malice.

sst1234 · 19/08/2022 22:05

OP started the thread to get her good deed of the day done. Box ticked.

apintortwo · 20/08/2022 00:37

OP started the thread to get her good deed of the day done. Box ticked.

I thought we wouldn't have the 'virtue signalling' post of the day. But here comes the OP...

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