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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour BU or am I?

69 replies

AreWeNearlyThereYet84 · 08/08/2022 19:41

My neighbour has a horrible barking dog that hasn't been trained. Every time it's let out it barks non-stop until it's let in, which can sometimes be for two minutes or sometimes for 20 minutes.

Not long back I was working from home, on a call and had to ask the neighbour to shut the dog up as it was disturbing me and my work. She was gayly sat outside in the sun, with the dog trapped inside barking it's head off for a good ten minutes. When I asked her very nicely to make it be quiet, she said it was inside as it was too hot for it inside. For fucks sake, so I have to listen to it non-stop just so you can have your bit of sun time?

Anyway, that was that and I have kept a noise diary for the past six weeks. In this time, the dog has caused over three hours of noise nuisance. I am going to submit the diary very soon.

Earlier this evening, I was working from home again and the dog was barking it's head off outside for a good five minutes. Then it was let inside and starts barking again. The walls are so thin it sounds like it's in the room with me. I had had enough of having my concentration broke at this point, and said (but not shouted), "oh, for fucks sake, shut up". I then realised that the woman next door had been in the garden and heard me. I heard the door slam not long after and the dog shut up.

The neighbour probably thinks I'm being a massive dick, but AIBU in expecting not to hear the dog every day or for her to take reasonable steps to make sure the dog is quiet including either having it out in the garden with her when it's not too hot or sitting inside with it so it doesn't bark if it is too hot?

OP posts:

pictish · 09/08/2022 07:56

Dogs will bark, children will shriek, mowers will buzz, trampolines will boing, balls will thud, people will shout and laugh. It’s a busy, noisy world.

Hand in your diary then.

SamMil · 09/08/2022 07:57

3 hours over 6 weeks really isn't much. I'm not sure if you've made a typo with this?

If 3 hours is correct, you are overreacting - having neighbours means noise occasionally.

If you've mistyped and it is actually 30 hours or something then you are obviously not being unreasonable.

ladydimitrescu · 09/08/2022 07:58

3 hours over 6 weeks is like 5 mins a day? If that's the case you need to get over it.

Mississipi71 · 09/08/2022 08:01

Well I have a spent a fortune on trying to stop my two from barking, outside and inside. Different gadgets, that end up being a waste of money, I contain them in different parts of my garden now, so they haven't always got the full run, to run up and down when somebody walks past. My mental health has worsened because I am constantly worried what neighbours will think, even though I never let them bark incessantly. If your neighbour's dog was doing that, you WOULD have an issue.

jeaux90 · 09/08/2022 08:02

It doesn't sounds like your needs are compatible with having neighbours.

I love where I live but I long for a house with no neighbours

Mississipi71 · 09/08/2022 08:10

premiumwine · 08/08/2022 21:15

I’m with you OP. I feel like loud household noise shouldn’t be heard outside of the household - whether it’s a dog or not.

30 minutes a week is too much frankly for noise that shouldn’t been there. There’s no unwritten grace period.

My goodness, it must be fun being your neighbour.

Lasagnainmyhair · 09/08/2022 08:20

SamMil · 09/08/2022 07:57

3 hours over 6 weeks really isn't much. I'm not sure if you've made a typo with this?

If 3 hours is correct, you are overreacting - having neighbours means noise occasionally.

If you've mistyped and it is actually 30 hours or something then you are obviously not being unreasonable.

Even 30 hours isn’t that bad, it’s still only 5 hours a week.

theemmadilemma · 09/08/2022 08:22

SarahSissions · 08/08/2022 21:17

There isn’t a set definition of how much barking is too much. But typically what you’d be looking at is :
the dog barks for 30 minutes straight.
or
The dog barks for more than a combined total of one hour in a 24-hour period.

or the barking occurs during “quiet hours,” typically after 10 PM and before 7 AM

it doesn’t sound like this dog is anywhere near this.

Plus they allow for alerting to people, loud sudden noises etc. things you'd expect/want a dog to alert to.

LaurieFairyCake · 09/08/2022 08:27

Yeah, it's not long enough what you're describing

I 'allow' my dogs to bark a couple of minutes a day (there's rats in the drains at the back - not my property- so they chase them away)

OnaBegonia · 09/08/2022 08:32

The equivalent of 5 mins barking per 24 hrs, YABU, back to the office for you.

AMIAMIBU · 09/08/2022 10:43

OnaBegonia · 09/08/2022 08:32

The equivalent of 5 mins barking per 24 hrs, YABU, back to the office for you.

This!

AMIAMIBU · 09/08/2022 10:48

premiumwine · 08/08/2022 21:15

I’m with you OP. I feel like loud household noise shouldn’t be heard outside of the household - whether it’s a dog or not.

30 minutes a week is too much frankly for noise that shouldn’t been there. There’s no unwritten grace period.

Oh get a grip!

So people can't use their gardens?

Children can't play in them?

Can't sit with coffee or wine and chat

Can't entertain

Can't BBQ?

Go live in a field alone.

Original poster

AreWeNearlyThereYet84 · 09/08/2022 18:43

OnaBegonia · 09/08/2022 08:32

The equivalent of 5 mins barking per 24 hrs, YABU, back to the office for you.

It's not just 5 minutes per day. Some days I'm out all day so don't hear it, but at the weekend it's often 20 minutes at a time and this can be several times a day.

A few weeks back I had a friend round and we were having lunch in the garden. The dog was out yapping incessantly for 20 minutes, went back inside, barked to be let out again and yapped again for another 20 minutes. All while we were trying to have a nice lunch.

OP posts:

Original poster

AreWeNearlyThereYet84 · 09/08/2022 18:46

Also, sometimes I can be drifting off to sleep at around 11pm and it starts barking without being told to shut up. One night it was barking from 11pm for a good half an hour and had been barking throughout the day too. It drives me mad.

OP posts:

Wishyfishy · 09/08/2022 18:49

Is it really just 3 hours total in 6 weeks? Because this is … not very much?

There is a dog next door to us that barks sometimes, probably a similar 3 hours in 6 weeks and I’ve discussed with my DH how lucky we are because it doesn’t bark very much really. Surely dogs do bark sometimes?

HangOnToYourself · 09/08/2022 18:57

Well based on your 2 updates it cant just be 3 hours over 6 weeks as it was 40 mins one day and 30 mins another day so over an hour just on those 2 days....unless of course you are exaggerating...

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 09/08/2022 19:01

How can it be barking as much as you say, but also only be barking for 3 hours in a six week period?

AMIAMIBU · 09/08/2022 20:19

@AreWeNearlyThereYet84 your figures don't add up, so tell the truth or you're wasting everyone's time!

mrsm43s · 09/08/2022 20:31

If you can't work at home with normal household noise around you (and a dog barking a total of 3 hours over 6 weeks is certainly normal household noise), then you need to find somewhere else to work, either back in the office or rent some working space. Same applies if it's children playing/washing machine running/other normal household noise. Homes are predominantly living spaces, not working ones.

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