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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour BU or am I?

69 replies

AreWeNearlyThereYet84 · 08/08/2022 19:41

My neighbour has a horrible barking dog that hasn't been trained. Every time it's let out it barks non-stop until it's let in, which can sometimes be for two minutes or sometimes for 20 minutes.

Not long back I was working from home, on a call and had to ask the neighbour to shut the dog up as it was disturbing me and my work. She was gayly sat outside in the sun, with the dog trapped inside barking it's head off for a good ten minutes. When I asked her very nicely to make it be quiet, she said it was inside as it was too hot for it inside. For fucks sake, so I have to listen to it non-stop just so you can have your bit of sun time?

Anyway, that was that and I have kept a noise diary for the past six weeks. In this time, the dog has caused over three hours of noise nuisance. I am going to submit the diary very soon.

Earlier this evening, I was working from home again and the dog was barking it's head off outside for a good five minutes. Then it was let inside and starts barking again. The walls are so thin it sounds like it's in the room with me. I had had enough of having my concentration broke at this point, and said (but not shouted), "oh, for fucks sake, shut up". I then realised that the woman next door had been in the garden and heard me. I heard the door slam not long after and the dog shut up.

The neighbour probably thinks I'm being a massive dick, but AIBU in expecting not to hear the dog every day or for her to take reasonable steps to make sure the dog is quiet including either having it out in the garden with her when it's not too hot or sitting inside with it so it doesn't bark if it is too hot?

OP posts:
grannybarbs · 08/08/2022 21:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Fladdermus · 08/08/2022 21:25

Have you mistyped the 3 hours?

Floofboopsnootandbork · 08/08/2022 21:27

YANBU to be annoyed, most people would be. I adore my dog but even 5 seconds of barking can piss me off 😂 but I think YABU to think 3 hours over 6 weeks is a lot, that’s only half an hour per week. I appreciate it’s frustrating, especially when wfh, but I think this is just something you’re going to have to put up with unfortunately.

hiredandsqueak · 08/08/2022 21:41

I don't think three hours over six weeks is excessive tbh. My own dog probably barks more than that as she barks each time somebody comes to the door, when the postman, window cleaner and gardener call. That would easily add up to more than half an hour a week. My neighbour has never mentioned hearing her much less complained much like I wouldn't complain when my other neighbour's dog barks as that barks broadly similar to mine tbh. Can you use noise cancelling headphones if you are so sensitive to noise?

Thriftytits · 08/08/2022 21:46

I’ve done this before. It does drive you mad.

When my neighbour had a loud dog it started affecting my mental health and turned into noise anxiety. I had to move in the end.

I did buy a thing from Amazon that omits a high pitched noise that only dogs can hear - and it did help! Surprisingly! (Actually I could hear it too, but I think that’s just me being weird!!)

Your neighbour is awful. How on earth does she cope?

Omgkittys · 09/08/2022 05:31

Your neighbour is awful. How on earth does she cope?

The dog has barked for 3 hours over 6 weeks, that’s half an hour a week, less than 5 minutes a day. Hardly something difficult to cope with 🙄 Neighbour is absolutely fine, OP sounds awful and very pedantic.

RedHelenB · 09/08/2022 05:38

A home is a home not a workplace so everyone with yabu. 20 minutes non stop barking is too long though I agree.

autienotnaughty · 09/08/2022 06:14

Dogs bark and training can take time and patience. It really doesn't sound like dog is barking a lot.

TibetanTerrah · 09/08/2022 06:21

If my maths is right, that's 4 minutes and 17 seconds a day.

Live with it.

Zingy123 · 09/08/2022 06:30

We have one nearby that barks constantly. Three hours in six weeks is nothing. The council would think you are ridiculous complaining about that.

carefullycourageous · 09/08/2022 06:39

3 hours is not very much. I know it is annoying but it is a tiny fraction of time.

Aprilx · 09/08/2022 06:40

Dogs bark. Mine bark when they hear somebody outside, I wouldn’t know how to begin to train them not to ever bark, it is their pack instinct to earn and defend.

It isn’t a nice sound though, it doesn’t sound pleasant to the owner either you know. This neighbour is not leaving the dog alone outside to bark all day when she is out. She is in and can hear the dog barking and trust me, she doesn’t like it either and doesn’t let it go on longer than she can help. As is evidenced by the less than five minutes of barking a day.

Your neighbour is allowed to use her garden, she shouldn’t have to stay in because you are working from home. Sounds like you need to get back to the office.

Aprilx · 09/08/2022 06:41

*warn not earn

onelittlefrog · 09/08/2022 07:11

It's unclear in your post how much the dog is actually barking. You say it can be 'up to 20 minutes' at a time, but in your diary you only have 3 hours over a 6 week period - that's about 4 minutes a day on average.

Is this a typo/ error?

I am one of the most noise-sensitive people I know and would normally come down heavily on your side - but if it's really 4 minutes a day then YABU.

If it's constant/ regular barking that is really disturbing you then YANBU and it is possible to train dogs to bark less.

PersonaNonGarter · 09/08/2022 07:19

OP, what do you want? It’s not clear what you think should happen next - the dog put to sleep? Taken off your neighbour?

There is nothing wrong with the above in extreme circumstances - but yours don’t sound extreme.

Dogs do bark and sometimes they are barking far too much. But that doesn’t sound to be the case here.

YukoandHiro · 09/08/2022 07:21

It would drive me mad but sounds like you're exaggerating a bit. Three hours in six weeks is really not that much.

clpsmum · 09/08/2022 07:21

SarahSissions · 08/08/2022 20:20

Three hours over six weeks? The council will laugh their heads off. You need to move somewhere with no neighbours if you are that intolerant of noise

This

Leafy3 · 09/08/2022 07:23

Didn't vote because leaving dog to bark for 20 isn't right but a 2m bark to be let in? Yabu

She might have been on the loo.

It sounds like you've got too fixated on this. Some dogs bark occasionally, if for a minute or two it's not a problem and you need to get over it.

Fushiadreams · 09/08/2022 07:24

This is non sensical. 3 hours in six weeks says that dog barks for an average of four minutes every day, four mins, it’s a very well behaved and quiet dog.

submit your diary to prove it, becayse that’s what you will be doing, proving the dog is quiet and well behaved.

bloody hell. Four mins a day, !

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 09/08/2022 07:25

I appreciate it's annoying but that's less than 5 minutes a day.

Dogs bark. That's what they do. The council won't be remotely interested in a dog that barks, on average, for five minutes across the course of the day.

You're not entitled to silence just because you WFH. Get some noise-cancelling headphones and leave your neighbour alone!

Snog · 09/08/2022 07:28

I'm sure it's awful living with a barking dog next door and you have my sympathy OP.
3 hours in 6 weeks doesn't really seem that much although I appreciate even 2 mins is annoying.

daffodilandtulip · 09/08/2022 07:28

NDN dog barks for more than three hours a day and the council aren't remotely interested...

Sniffypete · 09/08/2022 07:31

pictish · 08/08/2022 19:57

I don’t think three hours is much for a six week period.

Not really! Had one neighbours dog that barked constantly from 9-5 and another who let their dog out into the garden at 6am each day which would bark for an hour or so and you'd hear it all day till 11pm.

itsgettingweird · 09/08/2022 07:47

3 hours over 6 weeks?

That 30 minutes per week.

That's less than 5 minutes a day!

I have lots of neighbours around me with dogs. They bark sometimes for a few minutes each. At one barks a day.

I don't find that excessive.

I probably hear babies crying and tantrumming toddlers for longer periods than that!

ErmIDontKnow · 09/08/2022 07:53

YANBU

At the back of my house a new build estate has been built and around 15 gardens away is a dog that barks constantly. It gives me the rage, I can only imagine how annoyed I'd be if I had to live next door to it. Me and my neighbour both have dogs and you dont hear a peep out of ours

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