To crave this and feel embarrassed about it?

[MonkeyDoodles]

Times have been really hard for me of late. I feel very lonely and unsettled.
All I can think about lately is just having someone hold me for a while but I have nobody who would and it sounds really pathetic to ask.

Definitely get a massage including a head massage - and if you can stretch to it make it a regular thing. I found this a sanity saver when I was going through a lonely time.

It's perfectly normal. I live alone and had terrible skin hunger during the lockdowns.

I second the advice of frequent massages and also weighted blankets.

You're not pathetic, it's completely natural. I was going to say a natural human need but I think it goes deeper than that and most mammals are the same, certainly other primates. It's just part of us that modern society doesn't cater for very well.

I'd recommend massage if you can afford it. And definitely adopt a cuddly animal from one of the many animal rescue centres, if you are able to look after a pet. Check that the one you choose is willing to be stroked. My cats got me through a very lonely time when I felt as you do.

It might sound odd but I read somewhere during the height of covid that you can ' hug yourself'. I tried it myself as I live alone and missed human touch, basically wrap your arms around yourself and hug tightly. Not as good as the real thing but I found it helped, maybe google 'self hugging'

DwightShrutesgirlfriend, what a lovely thing to do. I'm sure many hospice patients feel the same way.

Stand with your back in a corner while you're doing it.

Or how about going to get a wash and blow dry, might be cheaper than a massage

Not weird! I get the same, go for a massage!!

I'm right with you on this OP. My wife died 18 months ago and i would give my eye teeth for a hug sometimes....

All the time actually

Not weird at all and not pathetic to ask. You're missing a completely normal human comfort. If there is someone you feel safe to ask then do (perhaps someone older) - most people would understand and wouldn't hesitate. If not, or maybe as well, do follow up the suggestions to go for a massage.

I had a wash and cut today and after washing my hair the hairdresser gave me a head massage which just lasted a few minutes. I was amazed and the instant calm it gave me.

Ooh OP your post resonated with me.

I am married but it's not great and we don't have a full relationship, haven't for a long time now but neither want to divorce - financial factors at play.

However, although I have an extremely low libido, I do often wonder if I'll ever be hugged or even snogged again! I doubt it really but I do miss the occasional hug, I have to say.

DH cuddles the dog every night, so I don't think he misses it as much as me but who knows...?

You need a doggy 😁

although my dog barely tolerates my cuddles - but when I sneak one of him it hits the spot

This has actually made me cry. I feel for you. I am very tactile and couldn't survive without hugs and sometimes have to ask for them ( even though I am married). Please be brave and reach out to someone, but failing that I also go to relaxing holistic yoga sessions and touch can be a powerful part of that too. Take care x

This.
I have a good friend who gives the best hugs (actual hugs, nothing extra!) but he's away + I haven't seen him for ages and I'm really missing a good hug.
Cant remember the last time I got a hug of someone on my team (that wasn't my friend)

Oh now I miss my nana who had the perfect rotundness for the perfect grandma hugs ❤️

I absolutely get this. I have craved hugs and touch for years, could never get DH to understand the importance of non-sexual touch and how it would help my MIA libido! This is part of the reason we are currently living apart. Hoping (long back story) he is now living alone that he will start to miss touch too, and decide to come home...

DS gives amazing hugs, but it is not the same.

I'm not a tactile person but, in my early 20's, I remember feeling just like you. To my shame, I used to lean slightly onto my neighbour when I was doing the daily (train) commute. I feel embarrassed to admit it now and thank my lucky stars I never encountered a weirdo. But yes, I get you.

Ask a friend. Nothing wrong in it. Covid starved us of them. Others things you can try - borrow a dog, or cat. Hot water bottle. Warm deep bath or a massage or head massage.

Definitely massage. I have children now and get plenty of skin to skin touch but have craved it in the past and massage was always my go to.

Not wierd at all. I'm not a huge hugger, but occasionally I get the need. DH isn't big on affection outside of sex.

I have lovely colleagues though, several of whom give great hugs. The other day I walked into someone's office and asked her for a hug, I just really needed one! It was good.

I'm sorry you don't have people you can hug. Have a virtual one. xoxo

Oh bless you. I wish I could give you a big hug right now. It’s not weird at all and brave to name it and to know what you need. Hope you get your hug and it feels amazing x

Overwhelmed by these lovely responses, thank you. I feel less alone knowing I am not weird for feeling the way I do.