To crave this and feel embarrassed about it?

[MonkeyDoodles]

Times have been really hard for me of late. I feel very lonely and unsettled.
All I can think about lately is just having someone hold me for a while but I have nobody who would and it sounds really pathetic to ask.

YANBU humans need physical touch.

Thats the worst thing about being single I’d say.

There are hug groups in American which I initially thought was weird but I can totally see why people go to them.

I know it’s not the same but if you have a pet to stroke or a niece or nephew to cuddle it does really help.

I remember walking through town and there was a person in a heart costume giving out free hugs for the British Heart Foundation.
I am not a hugger usually but it kept playing with me so I gave it a hug and it felt so good.
I really needed a hug and I almost cried.

My first though was would a massage help with the needing to be touched? I don't think you are strange to feel this way. I'm sure that for as many people who feel touched out, there are probably a similar amount who crave being touched

I had a friend in his sixties who hadn't hugged anyone for decades. I remember when we met thinking he looked like he needed a hug, so I asked him. He said yes and we just hugged for minutes every time we met. Sometimes a whole hour!

It's not strange. It's vital and a need.
I heartily recommend a massage once a month!

You sound like the best of souls.

You sound like the best of souls.

Hugs are important op. You're not weird for missing physical contact with others.

Perfectly natural. My DH died several years ago and when the going gets tough I cry and tell him I need a hug. It’s what I miss most, just his presence and a quiet hug.

You aren't strange op at all, we all need a hug and some physical touch sometimes

Where are you? I live near Milton Keynes & I'd be glad to give you a good long hug. We all need that from time to time.

I'm not a weirdo, honest. Which makes me sound like a weirdo!

You are just behaving / thinking like a human being 🤷🏻‍♀️ Nothing odd about you. You’re feeling lonely / down and that will account for your need to release some oxytocin, the ‘cuddle’ hormone. Oxytocin makes us feel happier, less stressed.

You’d be a little unusual if you didn’t want human contact. Most social mammals enjoy being hugged and cuddled. My dog asks to come and cuddle into my tummy in the mornings. Dogs can give the most amazing hugs.

❤️

I have definitely heard of cuddle groups and not just in the states, I'd google and see if there are any events coming up nearby

If you're near Bristol there's a professional cuddler/hugger called Treasure who was on 'This Morning' - the presenters all laughed at the idea but really enjoyed it. But for £75 an hour I'd rather have a massage to be honest.

I have DH and DC so do get hugs but my cats cuddle up to me as well. Could you get a cat?

Skin to skin contact is a human need from the moment we are born to the moment we leave this earthly plane.

On a physiological level, it helps us produce oxytocin, which makes us feel love.

It's a completely normal and human feeling you're having.

If you don't have any one who can give you that, can you promise to show yourself that you love yourself, and book some sort of skin to skin contact like a massage or pedicure?

You need to be kind and gentle to yourself.

I’m in the north west if you need a hug I’m happy to oblige! It’s totally natural to want human contact!

Oh that's reminded me, my dc are teenagers whose huggy days are increasingly scarce.

I had to go for a kidney scan, and the staff member asked me to raise my arm above my head while she pressed down by my waist and rolled the scanner about. I remember getting a bit of a lump in my throat as the gel had warmed up and the pressure and the spot of being scanned was just at the height dc would hug me in early primary school years, I was quite taken aback by how it felt and it caught me off guard!

Wearing a T-shirt right now that says "Free Hugs" It's surprising how many I get waeing it!

*wearing it...

Massage all the way @MonkeyDoodles. I'm a volunteer who massages hospice patients and was told by one elderly gentleman, through tears, that I'm the only person who touches him apart from medical staff. It made my day to know I was making a difference.

Are you able to afford a massage? It's not the same as a hug but it is akin to skin contact and someone doing something caring for you (even if you are paying them!)

@MonkeyDoodles yorkshire here. I totally get you need a cuddle!! It’s only human to need human touch.

pm me if you like, promise I am not a weirdo, well maybe a bit after 3 kids 😂. Would be nice to make a new friend for me too, like you I need a cuddle sometimes

Completely understandable @Hoppinggreen . When times are tough, like when you're feeling lonely, a hug is just what you need, and it's usually not there. Just touch helps but a pair of caring arms around you is best.

You’re not odd. When my husband died I felt exactly the same. I second the suggestion above to have regular massages etc if you can afford them. Any hug longer than 20 seconds releases the feel good hormones so do hug friends if you can.

I agree! In fact, if you can afford to you should have them regularly.

Also, nail salons usually give foot/leg massage with a pedicure and it's wonderful. Or hand/arm with manicure.

Please don't feel embarrassed. It's really normal and a true need.