Not paying for childcare this autumn as bills go up

[Essenceandvibes]

I've just had an epiphany.....I absolutely won't be paying a penny for childcare this autumn as bills increase and I won't be made to feel guilty about it either. I can work from home and watch my baby and pick up my 10 year old from school without the assistance of anyone else and if my employer has an issue with it, he can pay an extra £2000 per month post tax to cover the cost of full time help.

Our bills are going to be about £800 a month just electricity and gas alone for our detached 4 bed house, this isn't even thinking about the increase of petrol or groceries.

The mortgage has also gone up a few hundred quid too....childcare and commuting is now a luxury not necessity and I really hope every parent joins me in asking for employers like it or lump it

Shameful the government have let everything get this far, the knock on effects will be huge

@PEDRO12

Apologies yes I’ve just seen that. I have had to get a new job come September that pays more, nothing major but an extra 300 pounds a month after tax. I know a few of my friends are on the lookout for higher paid jobs.

Same.

All of this has been thought of but thank you for your suggestions.

We unfortunately need the spare room, for now it's an office but my husband's elderly mother will move in with us soon so downsizing not really pragmatic right now.

The food bill, we've tried. Some weeks it can go down to £70 but that's only if we have remaining meat left over the freezer.

Subscription services is just Disney+ and to be honest, I don't want to cut that as we don't really go out anyway so what else would we have entertainment wise?

Renting is just hell right now, always thought I'd buy in the next year or two, but really not looking likely

OP, it's getting boring now you posting under different usernames. Nobody is THAT exercised about defending an OP unless they're the OP.

Yes, and it really takes the biscuit.

@Cookiesareworthit

Renting IS hell but I am not quite sure why you’ve been triggered into calling people out for having vile attitudes when they were not referring to people currently in your pretty shocking rental predicament.

If I genuinely was at risk of homelessness however then I potentially might reconsider my elderly MIL moving in……

Subscription services is just Disney+ and to be honest, I don't want to cut that as we don't really go out anyway so what else would we have entertainment wise? books? Colouring? Your local library. Friends house. Normal TV. Talk to each other??

I was starting to wonder.

She doesn't have anywhere else to go, unfortunately life continues even when the bills increase like mad

@Cookiesareworthit

Indeed it does. I still wouldn’t put my MIL up though in a room if it meant I couldn’t downsize for cheaper rent as it would mean my kids would be homeless and they would come before my MIL.

Pretty arrogant of you to assume that your employer should pick up the pieces. Your other team members are likely to also have to do extra to pick up your slack.
I always feel that other people's childcare issues aren't an employers problem. Look forward to disciplinary proceedings and unemployment. Then you'll have alll the time in the world.

Have you seen care home prices? She can't afford that and never owned her own home so nothing to sell.

We're not leaving her homeless and it's concerning that's even an option you'd float to a stranger

@PEDRO12 one of the problems I pointed out on my post is that downsizing isn’t that easy.

OP pays an £800 mortgage on a 4 bed house. House prices have likely increased since they bought their house so “downsizing” may not necessarily save money. Moving into a rental (even a 3 bed) is likely to cost more than £800 a month for a lot of us.

In my area, moving from a 3 bed to a 2 bed would increase our rent as we’ve lived here ages and our landlord hasn’t increased the rent much, whereas “new” properties are rented out at extortionate rates.

Is that my “fault” for continuing to work and budget as usual as I’ve never been rich, or is there a responsibility for housing to be affordable for (at the very least!) households with 2 working adults? That’s not “expecting people/the government to bail me out of my messes”, that’s expecting people to understand that house prices rising £100,000 in the same period that my wages rose £0.98 is an unsustainable clusterfuck.

Moving your MIL is a really generous thing to try and do, but I do hope it won't push your finances over to the point where you all risk becoming homeless as a consequence. Please don't take this the wrong way, but might a home or some sort of sheltered living be more appropriate given your very delicate finances. Im sure that isn't something anyone wants, but maybe its the only option open to allow you to downsize to somewhere that is perhaps somewhat more within your current budget.

I'd also try to get some help from somewhere (advice from a charity, or something like that?) to see if they can spot any savings, sometimes its easier to spot them when your on the outside looking in.

I also understand not wanting to give up disney+. As a last resort it might be needed temporarily, however you do have two young children and I do understand that life is form living still even in the hard times.

Is another part time job for either one of you a possibility? Even an extra 6-8hrs might make a considerable difference? I'll admit its probably going to make things tricky given how young the children are though.

The govt should absolutely be helping people like you though, I don't think anyone begrudges that. I just think that you and the OP are worlds apart in how your lifestyles come across. I think they've got a considerable way to go still and I fear they have wasted a huge amount of money in recent years probably living a life that was really beyond their means on the assumption that the good times were always going to stay around. But maybe I am just being mean spirited, who knows!

@Cookiesareworthit

Not at all. I’ve worked in the care industry before. She would still be entitled to receive care even without owning a property. You would need to contact social services for an assessment of needs.

What is more concerning is you only having 50 pounds left after all bills. By the sounds of it you’re putting your MIL in a rather precarious situation whereby she too will be at risk of homelessness.

I don't think you're mean spirited, I think you're kind, just a bit blunt :)

My husband has started Uber driving at the weekends so I hope this will go some way to helping us out in the year ahead.

I'll look into the charity idea though thank you. I didn't think charities would help people like me (not homeless, etc) but it's worth a try.

Their 4 bed detached house would sell high enough to make enough money to move into say a 3 bed semi, and probably with a smaller mortgage to boot. The national average difference in price between a detached and semi is way over 100k afterall.

It would probably solve all their issues both now and probably for some time to come.

@Essenceandvibes

Just checking in to see if hell has frozen over yet or if you've had any more epiphanies this evening

Sat with my 2 friends with some wine we've been discussing this thread tonight and wondered what else 😂

Well you haven't been following the thread, OP has been banned. For quite some time now.

Whatever happens just remember this is a temporary thing, the inflation will eventually drop away and wages will in all likelyhood catch up in due course (even if they don't totally close the gap) so things will get easier with time hopefully.

Hopefully the landlord can also be considerate with your situation, of course that is total luck of the draw. Before I managed to move into my current house (thankfully fixed the mortgage a few months ago before the rates started really going up!) I've had all sorts of landlords, some that were good, others I'd sooner never meet again.

I'd also again talk to the council and make sure they are aware that you are now going to be having three vulnerable people in your house and see if there is anything they can do on their end regarding waiting lists, etc.

Also let the energy companies know, I'd expect some of the benefits would be applicable to your house once she has moved in, though obviously I'm not in the situation so don't know for sure either way!

Just got to cover as many bases as possible and hope the govt help out those who really do need it.

Well it's pretty obvious that not everyone is going to do this because not everyone has children or needs childcare.

If you give up your childcare place and tell your boss that you are going to work from home and take care of the children, you will lose your job.

But in any case, I think what your heating bills would be like if you are going to be home all day. If you are out at work you will be saving all of those costs. How much do you think it will cost to keep your children warm at home throughout the winter, day in, day out.

It's not hard to get around that, even if it's an IP ban. I haven't done it, I hasten to add, but it really isn't hard.

Do you have a Tesco Clubcard? You can use points to get 3 months of Disney+ for £8. They even run offers sometimes and right now they’re doing 3 months for £6.
The vouchers last for ages as well, and you don’t have to be a new customer either. Turn off auto renew on your account and the voucher can be added when your current contract runs out.

@PEDRO12 Practically, you’re absolutely right. It’s much quicker to downsize than wait for the property market to become fair and equitable! Would just be nice if it didn’t have to be this shit for so many people - including those of us who don’t live beyond our means.