To stop contacting relatives who complain I never contact them but they don't contact me

[reddishroses]

Aibu to just stop contacting them?! I'm a bit fed up today admittedly but it was my granddads birthday the other day. My grandparents are retired and live in a different country. I text him to say happy birthday and he said thank you, shame we haven't heard from you for such a long time, don't seem to ever hear from you.

Fine but if I don't contact them it's nothing at all from them. They hardly acknowledge my dc, sending a birthday card in the post but no further contact all year about them, no how are they etc.

My mum is the same. I'm so fed up with this attitude of it's all my responsibility to contact them and if I don't they act like I'm a terrible dc/granddc, got me thinking I don't actually really want to maintain contact with people who act entitled to me contacting them without any effort their end.

YANBU.

My mum had a friend who used to grumble all the time that 'the family' (her grown up kids) weren't getting in contact enough. Mum told her that just because she's retired and living alone, it's not up to her kids with families, full time jobs and the rest of it to ensure she's engaged for most of the day. Especially when she makes no proactive effort to contact them!

BTW she relayed this story to me not to manipulate me into contacting her more, we talk every few days as it is!

@Brigante9 oh yes I have that mum. She loves to call me when someone's died, everything else can wait until I call though. It's so odd. My mum is 57 she knows how to use her device ok. No interest in asking after my dc. I find it sad, I won't be doing this to my dc!

The gp are even worse, the only contact if I do and also know how to use their devices but I think they must own the 'one way phone' that's mentioned on here !

It’s shit isn’t it.

my dad and step mum live less than 5 minute walk away. Unless I get in touch I never hear from them. No interest in their grandkids. They don’t even know them really.

my dad walks past my house every Saturday night for his two pints in the local, never calls by.

I feel sorry for my kids tbh. Used to upset me a lot. Now I just don’t get in touch

Its hard op. Unless they elderly. No excuse. I cut a friend off never in touch all one sided. Same with family phones work 2 ways! My mam would text she not on whatsapp.

I think this partly comes as a result of the MN mantra that the 'little family' want to be isolated from the world, no-one is supposed to do anything without making an appointment. I rarely ring my daughters because I now they're far busier than I am and I don't want to be guilty of butting in! You can't have it both ways.

Same with my family They never communicate I wish I had got away from them years ago