If your parents are deceased, how long did it take for you to feel happy again?

[Toomanytakeaways]

Maybe it isn't the best worded question but just wondered if there's anybody here who has lost one or both parents, and how long it took you to start to feel happy/positive again, if it has? How often do you get down?

Lost my dad when I was early 30s. It took years tbh. I cried everyday on my way to work (literally the only time I was on my own, 2 young dds) for a year or more. It was mentally and physically exhausting.
I recently lost my brother. Very different experience.

OP it never gets easier, you just get used to it. Surround yourself with loving people and you'll be fine. Some days it hits me like a punch in the stomach all over again; 95% of the time I'm completely fine.

Lost my wonderful mam 7 years ago, and dad 3 years ago.

My mum died last year of cancer. She was only 57 and it still makes me cry if I think about her. I miss her loads. I'm not an unhappy person though, if anything, I try hard to stay positive because she was like that.

My DM died 6 years ago.

We weren't especially close, but now she is gone I think of her most days and although I rarely cry about her now I was in my attic and I have an old pillow of hers stashed away and I gave it a hug and had a few tears.

So much of my life has changed in the last 6 years and although she and I had differences of opinions, I feel sad she isn't here to share my joys with. I'm about to welcome a child into my life and the thought that they will never have met my Mum is something I feel so upset about.

There is no timescale, everyone is different and everyone experiences grief differently. I feel as though my heart has a hole in it which can never be filled, but I also am happy. I see her in my dreams and I hope one day I'll see her again.

I haven't read all the posts, only the OP, but I remember feeling this strongly at the time.

I took me about 2 years from the death of my mum, to laugh without feeling guilty or bad about it.

My DF died at 54 when I was 26 and my DM was then killed in a car accident at 69 when I was 44.
That was six years ago now and I miss them both every day but I was happy again pretty quickly, on the surface anyway. Deep down there's probably a lot of anger and resentment but I push that down and try and always have something to look forward to.
There's an awful lot of other positives in my life to counteract the sadness.

Lost both of mine in the space of 7 weeks. One sudden, one expected.

The sadness for me didn't kick in until later. I'm not the most sentimental person but weird things triggered me off. Especially emptying the house. They appeared in dreams etc.

I vividly remember one day about a year later when it was the first day I didn't think about it all. And now I don't think about it much whatsoever - the inheritance enabled me to make life pretty comfortable, which I know not everybody gets so I feel strangely lucky. Life goes on, I have the occasional moment here and there, but I know they wouldn't want me to be miserable and would hopefully be proud of seeing how I've made positive changes since.

My mum died this year. We were very close. She was in her nineties and had dementia. I had imagined that it would hit me very hard when she died but I honestly haven't shed a tear. I was ok with her going. It was genuinely her time and that's just fine.

Time is a healer as they say ! I lost my dad six years ago but just reading this has brought tears to my eyes again ! You never forget but learn to accept it ! He’s always with me in my thoughts , I miss him so much still 😔

8 months for me now. Mostly I am fine unless something triggers a memory. I occasionally get terrible urges to speak to them but I have learned to push that away.
I am staring to look back with fond memories if their life rather than looking back on the horror of death.

With Mum, probably about a day. She had been Ill for 7 months and in hospital for six of those. The stress of the daily visits was enormous - I was signed off work for a month as I couldn't concentrate and was a risk to myself and others. When that all stopped I was straight back to normal and found myself able to relax again, almost as if nothing had happened. Dad's case was different. He spent his final weeks and days at home and died in the front room of the family home. I was indifferent to the whole process and was able to shrug off his passing straight away. I honestly never liked him that much which might explain how I could be so casual and disconnected. He was a good provider but a lousy parent and a foul-mouthed, bad-tempered bully at his worst. Brutal but true.

I just feel so lost without my mum. We we’re so close and I did everything I could to prevent her dying. I’m heartbroken but it’s only been three months

I know what you mean about the daily visits, at first I was just relieved there was an end to her suffering

my dad - I feel the same as you, I can’t stand him and know I’ll be ok when he passes. Hopefully soon 😂

I'm exactly a year on from my parents' deaths. They followed one another in quick succession. I feel far less hollowed out. I was a literal shell a year ago. I've also had some EMDR to try and deal with the traumatic nature of their deaths.I think that's helping.
yes, I'm feeling much better. Partly i know because their affairs are mostly dealt with now (it was very complex). But partly I think because of time. I do still cry but far less frequently