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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if good holidays with teens are possible

73 replies

Allotment123 · 06/08/2022 17:49

Last year we went to the Lakes, they moaned, this year we went to the Netherlands, they moaned. They wind each other up, doing an activity, cycling, water sports etc they get on okay, but in between is painful. I just wonder why I bother. I always thought a successful family was one where they want to continue going on holiday with you as young adults. My 14 year old wants to be at home with her friends. Is it worth it? It almost seems it doesn't matter what we do, it doesn't work...

OP posts:

PeanutButterOnToad · 07/08/2022 13:21

Only one of mine is a teen now but yes, we have had great holidays, mainly self catering or pool villas overseas with a couple of resorts thrown in. We travelled for a couple of months in Asia too when they were younger. We are all pretty chill which helps, good food is a priority for all of us and my kids have always got on well together. Our idea of hell would be a theme park. If you don’t like the same things or siblings don’t get on I can see that would be really difficult.

Darbs76 · 07/08/2022 13:24

im taking my two teens to Florida, let them dare moan or complain! But joking aside sure we will have a few moans but I’m looking forward to first family holiday in 3yrs

Original poster

Allotment123 · 07/08/2022 13:51

Thanks for all your comments, I guess we spend less on holidays than most suggestions, but it's given me food for thought. I guess things just change as they get over and it's a renegotiation at every stage

OP posts:

Maramo · 07/08/2022 14:15

CrapBucket · 07/08/2022 11:58

I'm getting tempted by a cruise thanks to this thread! But am on a tight budget. Has anyone done AI cruise and is it really all inclusive? Cinema, gym, shows, food, drinks, ice cream, pools, sunbeds, getting on and off in ports?

My teens aren't legally old enough to drink, I presume this is checked...

I am a single parent so it would just be the 3 of us and I don't mind scrimping and saving for a last 'childhood' holiday experience. As long as I don't get caught out with some unexpected costs...

Look at TUI cruises, I think they are called Marella?
Truly AI, you could easily get away with spending nothing. The main extras which are optional are the shore excursions and they can be pricy. You can just get off the ship and do your own thing though. As to alcohol every passenger gets an ID card which is swiped when you get drinks so your under 18s won't be served alcohol. (This could be a slight problem with a 17 year old who we would permit a beer on holiday).

Maramo · 07/08/2022 14:19

@CrapBucket Also I liked the fact that all tips were included instead of some complicated compulsory extras and there is no formal dress code. Some people like to dress up on cruises, tuxedos and all that. I loathe it and would avoid those cruises.

CrapBucket · 07/08/2022 14:30

Thanks @Maramo thats who I was looking at - really good to hear. Its a bit vague about the gym, and I can't find anything about WiFi. I am wondering whether it would be better once eldest is 18 as the lack of beers does seem a bit of a downer for a 17.5 year old. Good point.

AssemblySquare · 07/08/2022 14:33

We can’t afford expensive activity holidays but my young teens (14 yo twin boys) are still happy to hang out with us on holiday. They’re happy to dawdle round national trust type places and still love digging holes in a beach! We’ve just got back from a lovely self catering week and I relaxed all rules about phones/bedtimes and it was great. As others have said, I let them choose a couple of trips and when we had meals out just let them eat whatever they wanted.

goldfinchonthelawn · 07/08/2022 14:37

When DC hot teens I got them to research the places we were going to and put together a list of 3-5 things they most wanted to do and see. Then we sat down together as a family and wrote a rough itinerary to make sure everyone did the stuff they really wanted to do, and explained that some days it was other people's turns. It really stopped the whining. They were old enough to realise that if they did what one person wanted with good grace in the morning,. we'd all be doing what they wanted in the afternoon. We also split up. If two of us wanted to do something and two didn't we'd meet up later. Also I found it was good to let them have a bit of time without parents, together. Keeps them on good terms if they are navigating a new place without adults. They stick together.

mycatisannoying · 07/08/2022 14:39

It's a mixed experience for sure! We did Greece this year, and looking back, there are moments I treasured and moments I'd have handled differently. It wasn't an easy holiday, but rewarding in some ways.
Must admit though, I personally wouldn't have chosen the Lakes or Netherlands for teen holidays.

wonderstuff · 07/08/2022 14:42

My teen said she lived NL. We are big into theme parks as a family and did Efteling this year which was lovely. We’ve also done Center Parcs in NL which my teen and preteen loved. So much cheaper than UK.

We have done a few Orlando holidays which worked well and my teen loves camping in the New Forest too. I think there either needs to be lots to do that they are interested in or scope to give them a bit of freedom. I give my teen the option to get involved in planning so there’s definitely something she is interested in doing.

Our next trip is a couple of nights in Wales this week, visiting relatives that they aren’t bothered about but also going to book a dolphin watching trip which they are keen on.

SmellyWellyWoo · 07/08/2022 14:43

My 16 year old enjoyed our all inclusive on a Spanish island. He is sporty so I always choose resorts with lots of activities- football etc.

SmellyWellyWoo · 07/08/2022 14:44

We also have a 6 year old who enjoyed the holiday as well- plenty to do for little ones. Takes me a long time to research and find the right place. We did offer our 16 year old the option to stay at home this year but he chose to come with us.

Kite22 · 07/08/2022 14:53

I suspect most teens grump a bit at that age but it doesn't mean they don't enjoy it overall, and it isn't a good thing to do.

Just like taking toddlers and small dc on day trips - you look back on the photos and remember the great times, but surely they were all interspersed with tantrums and tiredness and someone being sick or wetting themselves or falling into some nettles and so forth.

Oh, and them wanting to come on holiday with you as young adults isn't related to them not wanting to be with you when they are teens. They come back round to loving you, even though you embarrassed them just by breathing when they were 14.

Maramo · 07/08/2022 14:57

@CrapBucket The gym was certainly free. Wifi was not. I gritted my teeth and paid for it but they were encouraged to use wifi on shore whenever possible. Our last cruise was 5 years ago though, I think free wifi is common now.
We also got round the beer thing when they were with us. Our last cruise they were 19 and 21 so not an issue.

BrutusMcDogface · 07/08/2022 15:12

We are in wales and my 12 year old is driving me potty with her rudeness. It’s been nice reading this thread as I was saying to my partner earlier, why do we bother?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sadly we can’t afford a lot of the options mentioned here so it’s self catering or nothing. Maybe we’ll just do nothing in future.

I8toys · 07/08/2022 15:21

We tend to do city breaks. We've enjoyed Rome, Milan, Florence, Copenhagen, Oslo, Athens, Budapest and many others.

I research everything in the area and create an itinerary a mix of culture, history, natural/geographical features and go a few informal tours including food and drink. The rage rooms in Athens are something they still talk about. They also loved the ruin bars in Budapest and oldest ds18 is going back with his mates this year.

It helps that my two are huge history buffs so we've done Gibraltar and Malta already this year. And are touring Germany in a couple of weeks - visiting Munich, Nuremberg and Leipzig. The fact that ds16 is legally old enough to drink at the bierkellers is going to be a highlight!

imnotthatkindofmum · 07/08/2022 15:26

Allotment123 · 06/08/2022 20:02

Thanks we tend to self cater and I expect them to help wash up, maybe that's where we are going wrong! I guess it's just like them to feel grateful and less entitled. I think planning more chill time is what is needed, they are all bringing friends to a festival we are going to later in the summer, and friends are key. I just hoped they would also enjoy family time too. I probably have over high expectations having planned this trip for 9 months.

My teens always wash up on holiday, non negotiable!

Like others have said lots of chill time! We're currently away with our caravan ok Dorset, pool, beach and chill time and a few meals out. They love it once they're away.

daisyjgrey · 07/08/2022 20:07

I only had one child, which generally solves a lot of those problems 😂

Whatafliberty · 10/04/2023 12:45

The festival is a great idea. After last year's disastrous holiday abroad with 13 year old Granddaughter, we plumped for London theatre break. 2 musicals, the science museum and vintage shopping later we had had a great time@

JaceLancs · 10/04/2023 13:01

Never had issues with teens on holiday as long as you keep your expectations low!
we did everything from city breaks to sun/pool holidays - most of the time they spent lying in, on phones, sunbathing and reading
only thing I insisted on was that we ate one meal a day together - usually evening

JMSA · 10/04/2023 13:05

I took my 3 (girls) to Greece last summer. At one point I thought we were going to kill each other
It really made me question the point.

IronBan · 10/04/2023 13:25

Did two cruises, touring round the USA and a canal boat trip. All went well.

Jagoda · 10/04/2023 13:46

Bearing in mind budgetary issues, I would suggest either:

Take them wherever you would like to go, but see if they can bring a friend each whose parents are willing to make a proper contribution.

Or, take them away separately to do something just they would like to do. I have had great trips with DD in Paris, and DS in Rome. DS has been on trips away with his dad watching football which he enjoyed.

Mind are now in their mid twenties and still like coming away with me

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