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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if good holidays with teens are possible

73 replies

Allotment123 · 06/08/2022 17:49

Last year we went to the Lakes, they moaned, this year we went to the Netherlands, they moaned. They wind each other up, doing an activity, cycling, water sports etc they get on okay, but in between is painful. I just wonder why I bother. I always thought a successful family was one where they want to continue going on holiday with you as young adults. My 14 year old wants to be at home with her friends. Is it worth it? It almost seems it doesn't matter what we do, it doesn't work...

OP posts:

OatcakeCravings · 06/08/2022 20:02

We tailor our holidays to suit our DS (14) so this year we had a trip to London in Easter which he loved as did we, I love London so it was great. Then this summer we have just come back from 2 weeks in a cottage in the Highlands and had a fab holiday, it helped that it didn’t rain, was warm every day and there were no midges this year though! We went on loads of walks and my DS and DH climbed 3 or 4 Munros. What I did this year was to thoroughly research the area and wrote down everything I though we could do and everyone got to choose 5 things each to go to/do. I’m going to do the same again next year as it worked out really well and everyone felt they had an equal say in what we did.

ulteriorbread · 06/08/2022 20:04

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Afterfire · 06/08/2022 20:05

Do you ask them what they’d like to do / where they’d like to go before you book trips or are you booking what you want and expecting them to enjoy it?

BuwchGochGota · 06/08/2022 20:11

Mine grumped a bit at that age and I thought they'd stop wanting to come, but actually as they've got to their later teens (now 16, 18 and almost 20) they're enjoying family holidays again and choose to come. City breaks, Center Parcs and camping are a definite yes from them. Staying in a cottage in somewhere like the the Lake District, Pembrokeshire, Devon etc not so much.

HenriettaHairpin · 06/08/2022 20:20

Another vote for a cruise, everyone gets to do exactly what they want, either together or alone, and you meet up for meals. Ours are still coming with us at 19 & 21.

2000waslastyear · 06/08/2022 20:25

Skiing holidays - summer holidays were just a moan fest

Changingmynameyetagain · 06/08/2022 20:30

We’ve just come back from a week camping in Norfolk with my 15, 13 and 11 year olds and we had a lovely time.
We didn’t plan too much and kept the activities to the afternoon so they could sleep in and chill around the camp site in the mornings. (This definitely helped!)
I was surprised they enjoyed it so much as they usually fight like cats and dogs at home but I think a few nights away did them the world of good.

easyday · 06/08/2022 20:38

My teens get along best when on holiday. At home they ignore each other but on holiday they are forced to interact and remember they quite like each other and can have fun playing Scrabble, hiking etc.
we are taking a mini cruise at the end of the summer. but we don't spend time apart. I've booked excursions (after consulting with them) and we have a good time together.
Next year it's Spain and the US to make up for not travelling for over two years.
I didn't take any holidays with my parents after 17 - it's so nice my kids still want to travel with me.

EATmum · 06/08/2022 20:38

We're just back from holiday with another family - with similar age children/late teens. Works brilliantly.

Annabananna1 · 06/08/2022 20:44

Somewhere with stuff to do and other teens around. Euro Camp is good for this, tends to be activities going on for their age group, pools, evening parties. Bit of independence being able to cycle around the camp and go to the shop etc or local town.

verytired42 · 06/08/2022 21:17

@Tree543 if you don’t mind my asking: where did you go in Austria? Sounds great.

XelaM · 06/08/2022 21:22

We are currently in Italy with my (usually very moody) nearly-13-year-old and my very outdoorsy, early-rising, history-loving parents. It's actually been lovely! My parents get up early to go swimming in the sea first thing in the morning and then do their own thing most of the day whilst I allow my daughter to sleep in, go to the beach/pool around midday, let her do loads of fun beach water activities (banana, ufo, boating etc) and then we all meet up to have dinner together with my parents and usually play cards. The only day trip we forced her to go to was to Venice, which she moaned about, but accepted. I also give her hot spot for her TikTok/Snapchat rubbish 😬😅

shivawn · 06/08/2022 21:39

I'm still in the baby stage so no experience of teenagers but having been on a Caribbean cruise a few years ago I can completely imagine it being a great family holiday for all ages.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 06/08/2022 21:48

My parents left us behind as teens because we all moaned that a family holiday would be shit and we’d rather be with our mates. So they called our bluff for about a decade and had the best holidays alone 😂 and we very happily stayed at home and got some breathing space and quality time with grandparents (and as we got older, on our own in the house)

Furball · 06/08/2022 22:02

I'm another suggesting a cruise.

Like a pp has said, Royal Caribbean has literally something for everyone, any type of food more or less anytime, all sorts of activities, some have surf simulators, ice skating, sky diving depending on ship and then a different port to get off most days.

XelaM · 06/08/2022 22:10

I must admit it has been decades since I have been on a cruise (as a child) but I absolutely hated it. I remember me and my mum getting sea sick and not enjoying any of the entertainment. Maybe there are better sea sickness cures nowadays 🤷‍♀️ But after Covid I would avoid cruises in any event.

converseandjeans · 06/08/2022 22:15

I don't know many teens that would enjoy the Lake District or NL

Duinrell is in Holland & mine love it there. Not too sure they would like the Lake District.

I don't think everyone can afford to eat out all the time - we can't so tend to cook at home or just get something cheap as a treat like chips or churros.

Mine have been better company this year so far but DD struggled with lockdown & she's back on form this summer.

I think it's normal for that age group to be ungrateful 🤷🏻‍♀️ it's why it's a shame when people moan about being with their smaller kids on hols as it's over before you know it & they don't want to come away any longer.

Maramo · 06/08/2022 22:16

We had the best holidays when mine were teens.
However they wouldn't have liked self catering in lake district and I don’t want to wash up on holiday never mind the DC.
I second the cruise idea, wish I'd tried it sooner. We did 3 cruises when they were 16/18 +. The mix of sightseeing in small doses but in well known places like Barcelona or Dubrovnik and on board activities was perfect.

Other successful holidays were Costa Adeje with Siam park, Greece, a week cruise plus week in Mallorca.
Also Center Parcs.
Basically anything with lots going on, much of it water based.

pointythings · 07/08/2022 09:30

My two really enjoyed the Lake District - we went paddleboarding, rented a boat, saw Carlisle Castle (they're a bit odd in that they like old stuff and museums) and it was great. They also love the Netherlands but then they are citizens and have family there.

TalkedTooMuchStayedTooLong · 07/08/2022 09:36

I agree re cruises... was easily the most relaxing trip I've done with my 3 (divorced, so there's just me and them). Have also had success this summer with three short city breaks rather than one big trip. Lastly, accepting that they'll want to have down time/ sleep late sometimes

CrapBucket · 07/08/2022 11:58

I'm getting tempted by a cruise thanks to this thread! But am on a tight budget. Has anyone done AI cruise and is it really all inclusive? Cinema, gym, shows, food, drinks, ice cream, pools, sunbeds, getting on and off in ports?

My teens aren't legally old enough to drink, I presume this is checked...

I am a single parent so it would just be the 3 of us and I don't mind scrimping and saving for a last 'childhood' holiday experience. As long as I don't get caught out with some unexpected costs...

chocolateoranges33 · 07/08/2022 12:37

We all enjoyed 2 weeks abroad. We didn't wake til 11, lazed round the pool everyday and ate out for lunch & dinner. And free WiFi in the complex which was a massive plus for all of us. We didn't do any day trips, sightseeing etc and that probably was the reason we all enjoyed it! Anything activity based or getting out and about would not have been welcomed and would have resulted in arguments etc!

treesandweeds · 07/08/2022 12:47

You self cater, expect them to wash up and then wonder why they moan?! Unless it's ok you can afford, which you haven't mentioned, then self catering is the worst from all points of view. Everyone wants to relax and have fun, who wants to clean up and tidy and wash up on holiday! No one!

budgiegirl · 07/08/2022 12:51

It will depend massively on the cruise line, and what they include in the base price. Check the details of the booking carefully to see what they are including when you book

We prefer NCL, and the price we pay includes all food (in main restaurant and buffet restaurant), and the vast majority of the entertainment. The only drinks included are tap water and flavoured waters in the restaurants. You can then add on a drinks package, quite reasonable if bought in advance, dinners in specialist restaurants (not really necessary as included is perfectly good), excursions etc. Ship excursions tend to be quite expensive, but you can book local ones, or just have a wander off the ship for free (depending on the port).

Most lines charge service charges (like a tip) but again, check the details to see if they are included or not. They can add up (about £10 pp per day), but you can ask for them to be removed (although it seems mean to do this, the staff work so incredibly hard and are not particularly well paid)

sleepymum50 · 07/08/2022 13:09

We wanted a once in a lifetime holiday to the Caribbean when my only DD was 15.

I looked for an all inclusive that had free water sports, kayaking etc. My reasoning was that if other parents were taking their teens, they’d be looking for similar supervised teen activities.

It worked out really great. On the first morning, I spotted a couple walking early on the beach with their similar aged daughter. When I saw them again at the hotels introduction meeting, I just introduced myself and told them my daughter was the same-ish age.

That behaviour was so unlike me, but I’m glad I did it. The other girl was also an only and 15yrs. It also helped that the hotel has a lot of holiday time let villas, it was the uk Easter break and there were a load of teenagers that met up regularly once a year.

In no time at all there was a group of about nine teenagers hanging out everyday together. It was safe as the hotel was set apart, it had a manned gate 24/hrs and the staff knew they were under 18 and wouldn’t serve them alcohol.

She had a fabulous time and I’m glad as that was the last holiday we did with her until she joined us again with her boyfriend when she was 22.

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