Hen do sick

[Citylife]

AIBU to be sick of hen dos? Why do we have to go away for hundreds of £s? So bored of it. Struggle to get enough money to take my kids away and I’m having to go to a hen do next week in Ibiza as I’m bridesmaid.

Next time you just say "Sorry, that's beyond my budget. I'm not going. You all have fun!".

Proper friends will be fine with that; they may even rearrange for something local so you can attend. Some will be relieved that someone else has said it.

Now you're talking..Paris. My favourite city. ❤

I feel for you. 5 of my closest friends had hen dos abroad for long weekends. Ibiza was actually one of them. Wish I'd had the confidence to say no, rather than slapping it all on the credit card. Would have been very difficult to say no as these were best friends from primary school, we're like sisters. I think the long weekend in Ibiza cost £2k in the end between flights, villa, drinking and eating at all the wanky beach clubs. This was just over a decade ago.

What type of accommodation is booked OP? Ibiza is very expensive for eating out/drinking. I hope you're all inclusive!

@Alfenstein - it was your final comment/last line that I was referring to .....

This was the final line of my last comment

'You can simply say, I can't attend if it's abroad but hope you all have a lovely time'

Hardly mean is it

Christ alive

@Alfenstein

Alfenstein · Today 09:35

You don't have to go away for £££

You can decline

You sound a bit of a misery tbh

@Alfenstein I've posted up the comment I was referring to - I hadn't seen your other comment, so my apologies

I ALWAYS decline Hen dos. Im not spending money because someone else is getting married. Thats taking money away from my family and children just to get drunk which i hate doing anyway.

It's hard but I have found that I have to say no to things. I have to ask myself the question " Am I willing to "pay" the consequences?" For example if I have cake and coffee every week at a cafe that would be enough money to pay for my family to go on a camping holiday. You get to make your choices and that includes hen dos, even if 20 people say "yes" and all sorts of other things.

I voted YABU because there is a simple solution...

I tend to decline most hen do invites now or make an excuse not to go. If it’s something I’d enjoy like a spa day I go but something like a bottomless brunch I’d decline

Expensive hen dos only persist because people go along with them. If no one agreed, we'd soon go back to more modest events such as a meal out or local nightclub and so on.

Omg I totally agree. I must have spent about £2000 on flights, accom and expenses for a friends recent hens do and wedding, which was same week as my birthday, and she didn’t even get me a birthday card 😂

destination weddings were fun for a while but the novelty has well and truly worn off. Please can everyone just have a wedding near their home town, that takes 1-2 days of everyone’s time?

Hen’s dos - mostly never fun, always a gaggle of the brides current friends, random highschool/work buddies and cousins/parents to ensure that no is relaxed. Everyone always a bit too sober. And so much pressure for it to be the best night ever! The best nights are always spontaneous and never usually occur when you’re in a group of 20 women in costume.

Nothing to add except Hen Do Sick is a great name for a band.

I didn’t have a hen do for those wondering. We eloped just us two and went away for a week after just the two of us but this was years ago now.

Love spending time with my friends… but hate hen dos! There is absolutely zero appeal to spending my precious spare time with a load of randoms and paying through the nose for the pleasure 🤷🏻‍♀️

After the last costly overseas extravaganza, I said never again and now quite happily say no to anything that involves an overnight stay or indeed, anything that simply doesn’t float my boat. Life is too short for doing shit I don’t want to do.

Fair enough!

Do most people really only have friends in their own area though? I've never been to a hen do where a decent chunk of people had to travel and stay over.

My own hen had attendees from London, Portsmouth, Essex, Bath, Guildford, Coventry, Oxford, Manchester, Liverpool and Edinburgh. Where exactly is the local nightclub and why bother travelling to just go for a regular meal?

*didn't have to travel and stay over

This is it ^

I think I read at least one post a day for some scenario or other on MN that literally comes down to the OPs inability to just say no 🙄

I just don't go!